Articles - 2022

The Bronx. Not just Bronx you gotta have the The for some reason. Bronx Zoo. New York Yankees. The borough that Ruth built. Birthplace of Hip Hop. A Bronx Tale; best movie ever. Regis Philbin, J Lo, Chaz Palminteri, Danny Aiello, Al Pacino. A lot family from here and a lot of times spent eating on Arthur avenue growing up.…

Sometimes going to a strip club when you are married can be a lot more expensive than you think. I ran into a good friend from college I had not spoken with in several years. Over a few drinks she told me how her husband’s secret strip club hobby cost him pretty much everything. First a little background. Her name…

Morning time. Some would say it starts after midnight but for me that doesn't count; that's late night. I'm talking more before noon. It's important to me because I'm an early starter, matter of fact I normally wake up during the 2amer, I don't even set my alarm. The gunshots do it for me. So by the time I'm rockin'…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWQH4hUJXzA Queens. Two airports. Laguardia, JFK. The Unisphere. The '86 Mets. GoodFellas. US Open. Aqueduct Racetrack. Coming To America. King of Queens. The Nanny. John Gotti. Donald Trump. Ray Ramano. Don Rickles. 50 Cent. Tony Bennet. Beatles at Shea in '65. Also outside of Manhattan, Queens is hands down the epicenter of the outer borough strip club scene in New York…

I'll often be in strip club sitting back watching the girls dance on stage and wonder to my self "You know, what does she got that I don't got? I can get up there too, I can dance the night away like no one else can" I was watching this matriarchy, one gender having total and complete control on industry.…

Many of us are probably familiar with Michael J. Peter chain clubs. We've probably been to one or more of his Solid Gold, Pure Platinum, or Thee Dollhouse locations. This article will focus on the early years, mainly at the flagship Ft. Lauderdale locations on North Federal Highway. I recall seeing MJ Peter Chain being tagged as McClub, in reference…

Went to TJ (1/27/22) specifically to see a chica that I thought had ATF potential. During our first encounter, she was a joy. Previously, across the bar dressed in white with a big chest that I assumed was plastic. (I was wrong.) My mesero asked if I wanted a girl. 90 minutes before I had to check out, so I…

About six years ago I played in my son’s fraternity’s golf fundraiser. As one would expect there were several coeds there who were driving the beer carts and helping with other assorted things to put on the event. After the golfing there was a cookout and party at the fraternity that everyone was invited to attend. Many of the girls…

My first time in a strip club was in the mid 1970's near Detroit. Since that time they've evolved and changed as the owners, dancers, and patrons all searched for a business model that works for everyone. This will vary from city to city depending on how corrupt the local politicians are. For example when I was…

Many men love The Girl Next Door look, the same with the ideal sexy stripper image. But what if you’re hoping the literal girl next door IS a stripper? To find out where you’re most likely to run into your favorite stripper at the grocery store, Starbucks, or gym in America, I ran some numbers to help us guys out. First,…

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Lust Gentlemen’s Club ™ in Martinsburg West Virginia Just Installed the World’s Tallest Stripper Poles February 8th 2022, Martinsburg West Virginia – Lust Gentlemen’s Club and Steakhouse™ has just installed the world’s tallest stripper poles in their club – three of them to be exact - each of them measuring 30 (thirty) feet in length. Lust has…

Now that Atlanta SCs suck I’m finding myself traveling more for my SC fix. My home city, Atlanta SCs are dying more every day. With some clubs like Wax and Pony closing at 2am (I might review). Then the quality of the girls are going down as well. Cover and parking charges are going up, drink prices…

Here We Go… Previously I wrote and article describing a trip to TJ 1/27/22 specifically to see a chica that I thought had ATF potential. I identified her as Candidate ATF, but I am getting ahead of myself. Swapped some messages with Greenbeans (who I have permission to identify by handle) and set up a meet for 2/6/22. I am going to…

Jersey Girls. Jersey Boys. Jersey Devils. Jersey Shore even Jersey Mike's. I think you can find all of these to some degree in the strip clubs in this state. This wonderful state that gave us Bruce Springsteen, Bruce Willis, Joe Pesci, Frank Sinatra, John Travolta, Ray Liotta, Whitney Houston, Danny Devito, Meryl Steep, James Gandolfini, Frankie Vallie, Jack Nicholson the…

So lets get this out of the way...What I'm about to write is from previous trip in November and another in January. I am going to go back one week from today (Feb 21 & 22) and will be meeting a couple TUSCL TJ guys there. What I do when I go to TJ is I keep my "notepad" app…

I recently shit out a few articles on certain areas in the New York City part of country, Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Bronx, New Jersey. You can find all that just click my profile and go to articles all that stuff is in there. This article right here is not detailed but just a general overview and wrap up…

There was an early spring day recently in Chicago. I decided to go out for a run. I’m 6’2”, and a muscular 175 pounds. I love running with my shirt off for attention, when the weather is warm enough. It had just topped 76 degrees out, and I out in my short running shorts. I…

“In late 2020, Los Angeles Dist. Atty. issued a directive that stopped nearly all prostitution-related loitering prosecutions.” I had read about these “news”. I had to go to a “conference/meeting” all the way down in Downtown Los Angeles on February on a Monday at noon, and after the meeting I had some time, so I decided to drive along Figueroa Street…

I got into the game late. I must admit, embarrassingly so, that growing up in SE Michigan I never knew about Tijuana of the North. I never knew that strippers actually provided "extras". I thought strippers providing those type of services were just stories that drunk dudes made up like fisherman telling stories after fishing trips.…

I'm writing this to punish myself for making fun of someone in the comments section of a review where they overpaid for a BJ. I tried to think of a time where I made a similar mistake and I couldn't think of one...but then I remembered this gem. So, for your enjoyment (and my dismay): So, I used to…

It was winter when I ventured into my first strip club with my boyfriend. He knew all about my bi curiosities- the crushes I'd had on friends, the numerous wet dreams involving me and another woman eating each other's pussies. The times I'd made out with friends in front of guys and secretly liked it. I was a baby bi…

Philadelphia. 1776. Independence Hall. The Liberty Bell. Signing of the Declaration of Independence. Richard Gere, Kobe Bryant, Grace Kelly, Bob Saget, Will Smith, Kevin Hart, Linda Fiorentino, Joey Bishop, Kevin Bacon, Teddy Pendergrass, Hall and Oates, Boyz II Men, Benjamin Franklin, Rocky Balboa. All sorts of good shit coming out of here. (And then also you got Bill Cosby, you…

1.Be nice to the girls, they are used to obnoxious sleezeballs, if you're polite and kind they will be much more attentive. High-end clubs at night These are the places that have valet parking, nice chairs, beautiful women, huge VIP rooms, possibly more than one floor, multiple stages, and usually a dress code of sorts (no t-shirts or shorts). Some guys even…

Looking back on living in NYC in the mid-'80's. Times Square was a festival of sex... You name it you could find it. For a repressed kid from the midwest it was an eye opener. Live sex shows... People fucking right on the stage! Gay strippers, straight strippers, cross dressers. A virtual mall of depravity. My hottest time was at…

Instead of writing a review of HK, of which there are plenty and all of which have been “disliked” by desertscrub, I thought I’d contribute an article about my March 2022 trip to TJ. My third overall trip. Came in to this trip with the goal of getting in 5 arriba sessions over the 2-night trip, since previous trips resulted…

How did SCers come to be known as PLs? Thought this is worth its own post, don't want the youngsters to lose their proud history 🤣 Every time I re-tell this story I forget more and more of it. If there are any OG ass-c'ers around who remember this, please add details or correct any mistakes. Back in the dark ages…

Early April Trip. Mon/Tue I've written a few articles and reviews in the last 6-12 months so this won't detail on clubs details. Just my experience this time. Meet up with Azfriole in SD at trolley. Get to border around 2:15. No wait or hassle at border cross. Hk shuttle taking off but waiting on us. Perfect, and get to HK at…

“Continuous striptease with fully nude girls” - so read the sign in the window of the old Carnival Strip Club, which for many years operated from 12 Old Compton Street. I visited this establishment many times in the late 1980s and early 1990s; the age before the Internet blew away the strip club and sex shop economy. The club had…

The internets, as my father calls it, are filled with bullshit. There are of course, many websites, chats, and reddits filled with advice. The do's and don'ts with strippers. If you are new to strip clubs and come across this page. My hope is this article will help you get a better experience for less money. Admittedly, this is advice…

There are some hoodrat clubs out there. In some rough neighborhoods. They may show up in the local news with 2amer stories. Well let me tell you right now there's a reason you got players killing each other over these strip clubs, go ahead guess...No not because they are retarded it's because these strip clubs are worth dying over. But…

My 4th trip to HK staying there for two nights from April 18th to April 20th. As mentioned in my previous reviews of HK and my last article, I typically add brief notes to my phone after arriba sessions to refer back to when writing posts. Crossed in to Mexico at around 2pm on Monday the 18th and decided to…

If no one is going to go to the ball park, no one is going to stop them. That wisdom from Yogi Berra has its corollary in sex clubs. If there’s no good reason for most men to go to a sex club, that’s not going to stop them. I’ve been to a bunch. And I can say with some authority…

Anyone who has ever visited foggy old Albion (or, to the less poetic amongst us, England) is likely to have had a pretty dismal lap dancing experience. The law, here at least, is more anti-ass than an ass itself. Whilst you are perfectly entitled to pay for sex with whomever is offering and happens to take your fancy, the idea…

Not your standard trip report. Hotel Cascadas tried to charge me $300US to have a HK BG who was off shift TLN in my room. If you don’t want to read a LONG article about this shit show and my equally angry remarks, DO NOT read this article. You have been warned so I don’t want any grief about how…

IMHO, the purpose of strip club reviews is to provide accurate, timely information that the reader can use to decide if he wants to visit the club and what to expect. Different readers have different criteria, and they fall roughly into two groups; regulars and first timers. Regulars can benefit from timely updates about the club, a favorite dancer has…

First, the information below is my experience. It may not work for everyone, but it has never failed me (unless the club is a complete dump). Lastly, if you want to sit next to the stage and throw away all your money for eye candy this article isn't for you. If you want to get 1 on 1 attention read on. Obviously…

Hey guys, I plan on going to clubs a lot more. Hence, I plan on writing reviews over here as well as giving tips on how to enjoy your experience at the strip club. 1-Most are very friendly One thing I have noticed about the bouncers is that many are friendly. Many of them are guys like yourself who want to network…

The topic of mass shootings and gun control have been all over the news as of late. In the last few years we have seen mass shootings in churches, elementary schools, high schools, grocery stores, theaters, and nightclubs. Read the news on Google and you will see at least a few violent crimes taking place at gentlemen’s clubs every week.…

You grizzled old veterans know whether this applies to you or not. But for you newbies, some thoughts on how to wire the system in your favor, if you're a regular at a club. If you're a regular at a club, getting to know the staff is a pretty low-effort affair, that can result in a huge benefit to your…

I am someone who has worked in many different clubs across Seattle. I have met a million different types of men. I’ve met straight ballers who are iced out and have a 400$ hoodie to dudes who are rocking a Walmart polo and some 40$ new balances (no shame Walmart has great clothes) and the one thing I have found…

So, I was in LA for work a week ago. Had some meetings get postponed so i wound up with a free Thursday afternoon and evening and decided to have a little bit of fun. I started off at a poker room and did pretty well (for me) turning $400 into $1800. I then decided to play tourist and…

I met up with a new sugar baby a month ago, and we ended up having sex at her apartment complex. I did not use a condom, just stuck it in. She said she was on birth control and clean of any STD’s. She said she got tested monthly. I had my doubts about the ‘monthly’ thing because her place…

Try the pussy raw again, and you might find yourself somewhere you don’t like. If you do, say hello – I arrived a while ago. It’s not the pussy. Oh no. Dipping your skin into that slick silkiness without that antiseptic barrier is more inviting and exciting than ever. The flesh and the friction. A channel open. This isn’t plastic.…

So was Santiago de Chile for 2 weeks on businesses trip. Working and dinner as a team. So rarely had time alone. I did make time for coffee shops. Read that strip clubs in Santiago are stupid expensive. Trusted the source and never made it out to one. Drove by a couple that opened early, but most opened…

I have paid for sex in most of the countries considered to be the best in the world: Mexico, Colombia, Brazil, and Germany. Noticeably missing is anything in South East Asia, but I don't think I'll ever check that one off -- based on limited research, it looks geared more towards guys looking for a long term P4P, and…

There are certain things young women cannot resist. Besides puppies, handbags, Instagram selfies, and shopping, one of those things is boats. My favorite weekend activity the last several years is bringing sugar babies and strippers out on my Lake Mead houseboat for a day of drinking, swimming, sunbathing, fishing, and whatever else we end up doing. I have yet to…

... or is she a skank because she hates condoms? Sgrayeff's raw pussy article sent me on a trip down memory lane. Why is it the skankiest girls that always want to bareback? My first P4P was a skinny brunette single mom who was really pissed that I insisted on covering it up. The more she complained,…

I am in my 60s and I always make it a point to be dressed nice (business casual) and freshly showered when I visit a strip club. I have never had a problem attracting dancers to sit with me and ask if I wanted to go to the VIP. I normally direct the conversation to what they do…

After recently coming across a previous article regarding mongering in Tijuana, Mexico, I figured I'd write an updated version (as of July 2022) with current prices and procedures. My first trip there was last August, and I've gone back three times since, so I can speak from experience. That said,for those who've never been to TJ but are planning to go…

In my limited time as a PL I have only had the pleasure of hitting a few clubs in the local area. This website has helped me to maximize my strip clubbing time and budget. Being fairly new to the game I’ve gone the free agent route when it came to the majority of my clubbing. Each time…

ADVENTURES OF KUNTMAN (A not-so-short story of TUSCL villains, victims and heroes) Faster than an escaped goat from San José... More powerful than an untreated herpes infection... Able to derail entire threads with a single post... Look! Up in the sky! It’s a dead fish... It’s a rotten head of cabbage... It’s Kuntman! Yes, it’s Kuntman! Strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth…

I had never been into massages. I thought they were a waste of money and only for sissies. I was never interested in a stranger rubbing their hands all over me at one of those Massage Envy places. I highly doubted there was anything a masseuse at a massage shop could do that would relieve me of stress and tension.…

I know a lot of you PLs are seasoned veterans, but I'm relatively new to the strip club scene. I figured why not relive my first time at a SC and then maybe I'll get to read some of yours. In the summer of 2016 I found myself in Toledo, Ohio, looking through thrift and record stores for vinyl, when I…

I’ve been waiting to write this article for some time now and tonight is the night. Tonight, I am on fire. I have been wondering some things as I venture in and out of the strip clubs not just domestically, but now internationally. Sex and sexual things is my vice. Some people like to gamble, drink or smoke. Not…

Remember the “Pepsi Challenge?” This was an advertising gimmick employed by Pepsi Cola in its battle for supremacy with Coca Cola. It involved people taste-testing Pepsi and Coke without knowing in advance which was which. Pepsi expected that their product would be preferred over Coke.   Long ago, when Mrs. Hornibastard III was still my live-in girlfriend, her budding exhibitionism and voyeuristic…

I remember the days when Heartbreakers in Bloomfield was THE place to be. I was such a regular that Joey used to let me stay after hours and I would routinely drive the girls home for free just to get in their good side.When I say anything goes at Heartbreakers I mean ANYTHING. Not only was it a sure thing,…

This article is probably among the least amusing or enjoyable you’re likely to find on TUSCL  On the other hand, since almost all TUSCL readers are male and since a high proportion of males will eventually encounter prostate problems (if they live long enough), I hope you will find this helpful.   I was recently diagnosed as having prostate cancer and underwent…

In my relatively short time as a PL at strip clubs, I'm kind of surprised I haven't run into more... uh, let's call them "reality-impaired" strippers. I'm pleased to say that most of the ladies I've spent time with in clubs seem to have been reasonably grounded, if not always the best decision-makers. Granted, I haven't been going to…

There’s no question dancers have a lot on their plate. Taking their clothes off. Dealing with guys that have had a few too many. A few recent articles have been addressed at the customer. Taking the time to shower put on some deodorant, freshen up the breath. Us guys fall short sometimes and we can be…

I have made a trip down to Brazil and explored the mongering scene. Unfortunately, I only went to Rio de Janeiro and skipped Sao Paulo. I heard while I was in Rio that there is a club called Scandallo in Sao Paulo that is the best in the world. All hear-say, but I hear it as upwards…

Firiday o had to go to a meeting in Downtown Los Angeles and had the opportunity to drive down Figueroa Street, because the 110-Freeway was like a parking lot. So I used the Slauson exit, right on Slauson and a quick left to go south on Figueroa Street. It was around 5:30pm and there was some activity, this time I noticed that…

I was in Santiago Chile, hanging out with a fellow monger. We went to a few strip clubs which were a total waste of time. We went to what is known as “coffee with legs.” There I met a very hot lady that my fluent Spanish speaking fellow monger had picked out for me and paved the way. Four sessions…

MEET #1: After being a Tuscl member for nearly 1 year, I had my 1st meeting with another Tuscl member at Bare Elegance-LAX. This was unusual in that I met a female customer member- Lopaw. We both exchanged PM's to set up Saturday afternoon club meet at Bare Elegance during one of my several LAX area trips. I already knew from…

This is something of a Part II to Greenbeans article, “When in Santiago de Chile…Café con piernas” (https://tuscl.net/article.php?id=58497). Note that Greenbeans speaks fluent English, Spanish, and Charm. I swear there is a wanted poster of him in the girl’s locker room of every Chilean club (and a few of the TJ clubs) that reads, “WANTED For a Good Time and…

Flat ass? More like Pancakes than Pillows? All bones no booty? Very common issue that prevents all dancers across America from earning a living wage. I, growing up have been called fat ass many a time, called an ugly drunk asshole even more so in some ways you could say I embody the fatass metaphorically inside and out. All that…

A lot of us, including myself, have had encounters with women that unfortunately lacked good personal hygiene practices. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to shame the women. If I was spinning around on a pole, I would likely be sweating and a bit foul also. However, once I get a whiff of it, the mood is completely gone…

I went to my first strip club right before the pandemic, which was either a bad or a good thing depending on how you look at it. It was definitely a bummer being cut off from a newfound hobby, but at the same time perhaps good for me to slow my roll a bit. Over the past couple months as things…

Covid created an unusual dynamic at strip clubs. Dancers who would normally not give you the time of day started offering to give you their phone number to get together outside of the club (OTC). There are many things to consider before hooking up with a dancer OTC. I have done it many times, and here are a few do's…

Over the years I’ve seen guys have good and bad experiences. In my own personal experience early on I also definitely did not know everything and still don’t; however, I’ve discovered some helpful tips when it comes to making the most of your club experience. In this article I plan to lay out some of the best steps to ensure…

A recently released racial dot map of the USA off the 2020 census I think is pretty fascinating look at America and for our purposes America in strip clubs. https://www.arcgis.com/apps/mapviewer/index.html?webmap=30d2e10d4d694b3eb4dc4d2e58dbb5a5 Not everyone looking for the same things strip club wise, but knowing certain things can help guide you to the types of strip clubs, strippers you are looking for. I've…

Pay a dancer a nominal amount to sit and talk for a few minutes. Most will ask why are here or ask for a dance.. Be honest and say I’m interested in a VIP but I want to give you a message and lick and play with your feet. now you’re either going to get a yes, no…

I have been keeping track of the mongering prices in Tijuana. From what I understand, a couple of years ago it cost $60-$70 to take a girl upstairs to a hotel room at HK, AB, CC, and BT (For the newbies, I'm respectively referring to Hong Kong, Adelita, Chicago Club, and Tropical Bar - aka The Big Four clubs of…

It’s now been two and a half months since I completed radiation therapy for my prostate cancer. I am pleased to report that, in more ways than one, I am finally back in the saddle again. First of all, Mrs. Hornibastard has been a real trooper, just as she has always been. She waited patiently for my libido to…

Last night I suddenly found myself awake, remembering what was, by far, the most delicious sexual experience of my life. I have known for a very long time that this particular event was stellar, the pinnacle of my sexual life, but I had not stopped and thought about it for years. In many ways, the pinnacle of my sexual life…

To begin, this is a subjective list based on where i have visited and my experiences, and mine alone. It is based upon girls looks, value, experiences, etc. I will begin with a list of all of the club's I have been to, then will have a countdown list of my favorites over the past 12 to 18 months. Clubs visited:…

I have mentioned before that some of my strip clubbing and other in-person mongering activities have been replaced in recent years with a growing affinity for Internet porn. This happened, in part, because I wasn’t able to travel as much on business during the pandemic. I have never been one to shit where I eat. So I try to keep…

In early October, I made a brief trip to Medellin, Colombia. I made this trip because I was going to Cartagena for the very first time. So in anticipation of the land unknown, I felt the need to stop in trusty ole’ Medellin for a guaranteed good time. Medellin is a good time 7 days a week.…

Garfield finally made it to Cartagena, Colombia. It’s been on my list for a while and I finally made it in early October. It seems that the two most popular destinations in Colombia is Medellin or Cartagena. Not many people are jumping to go to Bogota (I’ve been there, probably a one and done) So I decided to…

So i was one that laughed at the ‘suckers’ with ATFs. I literally did. My thought was, how and why??? Like there are literally 100s of chicas. Then early this year, i repeated with a chica I met and went arriba with last year. (She’s on one of my reviews) I literally avoided her at HK every time I…

Hello everyone, it is time for yet another review from your Lasagna loving pal Garfield. Today, I will bring you my time in one of my favorite sex-caetion spots, Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico. I’ve been to Amsterdam, Medellin, Cartagena, Bogota, Panama City Panama but to me nothing is Tijuana. I have heard from several people that Tijuana during Halloween/Day of…

Sometimes you got to know when it's time to walk away. Sometimes you got to know when it's time chomp down and close on a deal. To give a little and get a whole lot more. Me, even as a kid, I used to bust the lunch ladies balls about being able to keep my change, I would keep everything…

I remember when Melrose Park, IL was a hot spot for lingerie bars, particularly on Mannheim Road. What is a lingerie bar you ask? It's a bar where the dancers dress in bikinis, either shorts or short skirts, and heels. And did Mannheim Road have a few good ones. I'm talking about Bobby's, Carl's, Louie's Lounge, and The Playpen. My…

A few weeks ago, I picked up a 20-something hardbody from the Florence McClure Women’s Correctional Center upon her release. I took her out to the Meadows Mall to pick up a few items from Victoria’s Secret, Forever 21 and Crazily Fashion. We then rolled over to Circus Circus and got a cheap hotel room for the evening. She got…

“You can fuck her if you want,” said ATFN of her friend. It was ATFN’s birthday, and I was visiting her at her home turf of Mexicali. We had a great session in my hotel room, a steak dinner, and from there went to her club, because I wanted to see what the Mexicali clubs were like. Her friend, who…

I moved to San Diego a little over a year ago. Just like every other red blooded American Male out there I had heard the stories about Tijuana my entire life. Over the past year I had crossed the border a few times with the wife or with the wife and kids to shop, eat, and mini vacation.…

I think back on my time in the strip club game, and I feel like a Kenworth W900 with one million miles on the odometer. Here is the story of my journey through strip clubbing. My first visit to a strip club was on a hot summer night in New Orleans. The strip club was Deja Vu on Bourbon Street. Deja…