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Lockjaw

Nevada

I had never been into massages. I thought they were a waste of money and only for sissies. I was never interested in a stranger rubbing their hands all over me at one of those Massage Envy places. I highly doubted there was anything a masseuse at a massage shop could do that would relieve me of stress and tension. A few years ago, my view of massages would completely change while traveling overseas when I came across a variant known as nuru.


Nuru is a type of massage that originated in Japan in the late 1950’s and spread throughout the world over the subsequent decades. During a nuru massage, a nude masseuse slides and rubs her body on your body with the aid of a slippery lotion. Traditional nuru lotion is made from nori seaweed and has no smell or color. Most people are familiar with nori seaweed as it is edible and used in sushi rolls. The sensation has been referred to as “a hot, wet hug”. To put nuru massages in a context the average strip clubber can understand, nuru massages are like nude bed dances where both parties are naked and a lotion is used to lubricate the grinding. Nuru massages are extremely intimate and sensual. You get to feel all of the masseuse’s curves as they caress your body. The actual massaging and sliding action has healing effects. Nuru increases blood circulation, reduces cortisol levels, and helps release toxins from the body. The nuru lotion calms your muscles and rehydrates your skin.


Here is the typical procedure for a nuru massage. You will book an appointment at a spa or parlor with the masseuse of your choice a day or two ahead. You will typically deal with a secretary that manages the appointments. At some of the bigger spas, you can show up at the last minute and pick an available masseuse out of a line-up. You then are led to a room where you take off your clothes and take a shower. You lay down on the massage mat, mattress, or table that is in the room. You are completely nude at this point, and the masseuse will come in. You will start out laying face down, and the massage therapist will work your back, neck, and limbs. The masseuse will first massage you with her hands as she rubs the nuru gel on you. She will then rub nuru gel on herself and slide her body on your back side. After a period of time, you will flip over, and the massage therapist will work your chest, abdomen, and crotch. She will use her hands to coat you in nuru gel, then proceed to slide on your front side with her body. She will slide over your erect penis with her breasts, abdomen, and thighs.


What happens next varies greatly by the country and the specific spa or parlor you are visiting. At a minimum, the masseuse will give you a handjob as a finish to the nuru massage. The handjob is included as part of the massage at no additional cost. In some places you can pay an additional fee for a blowjob or to have vaginal sex with the masseuse in lieu of a handjob or in addition to the handjob. In Thailand, I was at a place where two rounds of full service sex with the masseuse were included as part of the nuru massage. In Portugal, I was at a place where I was jerked off multiple times as part of the nuru massage. Once your allotted time is over, you take a second shower to wash the gel off. In some spas, the masseuse will jump in the shower with you. The final step is to get dressed and leave the spa with a smile.


In my experience, the United States is the worst country in the world for nuru massages. I have never had a single nuru massage in the United States that has measured up to my experiences abroad. Most erotic massage parlors in the United States are bait and switches. Most places in the US offering nuru don’t have a clue what a nuru massage actually entails and just market their massages as nuru to scam guys out of their money. They might cover you in cheap baby oil. The masseuse may not even get naked and slide on you. She may charge you an extra fee just for a manual finish. Here are a couple experiences to illustrate my point: I went to a massage place in Florida advertising nuru. The masseuse just rubbed oil on my back for two minutes with only her hands. Then she had me flip over and rubbed oil on my chest for another minute before offering me sex at an outrageous price. I went to a massage place in Arizona advertising nuru. The masseuse did not look like the pictures of the woman I had booked with. She was older and less attractive. She rubbed oil on my back for five minutes and did a body slide. When it was time to flip over, she did not want to continue with the massage. She wanted me to buy a handjob, a blowjob, or full service at ridiculous prices. What I thought was going to be a relaxing hour massage was less than fifteen minutes.


There have been times I have been stressed out, but a relaxing hour or two of naked women sliding on my body has completely erased my mental strains and left me feeling like I could accomplish anything in life.

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