Where the Girl Next Door is Most Likely to be the Stripper Next Door

Pablo99
Looking for the girl next door, with huge tits
Many men love The Girl Next Door look, the same with the ideal sexy stripper image. But what if you’re hoping the literal girl next door IS a stripper?

To find out where you’re most likely to run into your favorite stripper at the grocery store, Starbucks, or gym in America, I ran some numbers to help us guys out. First, I pulled the 2020 US Census data for the ten largest metro areas plus Las Vegas for fun. Then I used the TUSCL map search tool to identify the listed clubs in the heart of the metro area. From that list, I totaled up the number of topless or nude strip clubs with reviews since 2019 and tossed all of the other types of venues. From there, I estimated 25 regular dancers per club to account for both the larger mega-clubs as well as the tiny venues and those that have closed. To get to our figure of interest, I calculated the population per dancer for the metro.

From that handy Excel spreadsheet we see, to nobody’s surprise, that Las Vegas is the prime real estate market with an estimated one stripper for every 5,034 residents. Las Vegas is followed by a second tier of cities with ratios of around one stripper per 10,000 residents: Dallas-Ft. Worth, Houston, Philadelphia, Atlanta, and Miami. Beyond those cities, the opportunity for having a friendly stripper neighbor drop quickly. Bottoming out our list are two cities in the northeast - Boston and perhaps surprisingly, New York City. NYC’s overwhelming population leads to a ratio of one stripper per 28,772 residents….but at least you’re in target-rich NYC. Boston…sad, sad Boston. At one stripper per 28,238 residents, be thankful that non-stop flights are offered to LAS and MIA.

Final List and Results of Strippers per Resident
Las Vegas - 5,034
Dallas-Ft. Worth - 9,257
Houston - 9,824
Philadelphia - 9,992
Atlanta - 10,150
Miami - 10,675
Los Angeles - 13,896
Chicago - 19,237
Washington, DC - 19,647
Boston - 28,238
New York City - 28,772

5 comments

Latest

  • Dan3635
    •
    3 years ago
    Pablo, you are doing the Lord’s work here. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
  • Sgrayeff
    •
    3 years ago
    While I appreciate the work - and the fantasy even more - the flaw is most dancers choose to live apart from where they dance. In some ways, close proximity to a club actually reduces the likelihood of seeing the girl whose tits you know better than her face.
  • mjx01
    •
    3 years ago
    What Sgray said. Most dancers (at least the ones I've known) all commute to where they work to reduce the chances of being recognized. A lot of Vegas strippers, especially Fri/Sat night will be in from Cali.

    Qualitatively, I would guess PDX is your best bet based on the shear number of clubs/dancers per capital and the general cultural acceptance of strip clubs and alt lifestyles in PDX.
  • From978
    •
    3 years ago
    Ah! The true spirit of scientific inquiry that marks the best of the TUSCL tradition. I live on the edge of the Boston s
  • From978
    •
    3 years ago
    Oops. (Submitted by fat fingering the text box). I live on the edge of the Boston strip club dessert, and at one point discovered that I did live pretty much next door to a Brazilian stripper. I'm not sure where the boundaries of the Boston MSA run, but the Boston strippers I know dance in Worcester and Providence. Providence has one CLUB per 28,000 residents. Boston real estate is (a) mostly zoned to exclude strip clubs, and (b) entirely priced to make them impractical.
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