Mornin': My Life of Strip Clubbing in the Morning Time

1/8/2022 4:38:37 AM

Morning time. Some would say it starts after midnight but for me that doesn't count; that's late night. I'm talking more before noon. It's important to me because I'm an early starter, matter of fact I normally wake up during the 2amer, I don't even set my alarm. The gunshots do it for me. So by the time I'm rockin' and rollin' I'm ready to hit the strip clubs. Usually I get the feeling around 9am which I admit, does limit my options. But from my experience I think I found my groove, my niche in the world, my value play and that's morning strip clubs. So much so, that I refuse to club past noon. This is my story.

After I awaken at 2am to gunshots and loud latin music, I know it's go time. I'm homeless, out of work, and I smell somewhat so I don't really have ton going on in terms what I got to get done for the day. But I do usually end up heading on over to Dunkin Donuts. Sometimes I conveniently sleep right outside the door, so when the guy steps on me, I'm right on time as to when it opens and when I can get the *freshest* cup of coffee you can imagine. I'll get a Bavarian creme donut and tell tall tales of my times in Bavaria. I'm not from Bavaria, never been either and Shaan the Dunkin Donuts guy, he's from India. So none of us really know what the hell I'm talking about but I really don't what else to say.

Anyway there's one option for morning mongering near me and that's a strip club in New Jersey that's 40 miles away about two hours by various buses. It opens at 1130, so it gives me about 30 minutes to "get it in" so to speak. Any way I hop on there and get this: no cover, that's for those folks who feel the need to come late. They even got a little continental breakfast thing going on with free coffee and toast W/jam and butter. Hell if that ain't a deal I don't what is. Although currently no dancers, no dancers at that time. The one guy that opens up shop said they usually work late and don't come in this early. Many are still asleep he says. There was one time a couple months ago, I did see a 75 year old grandma walk by the window. I got excited I thought she was coming in to work the stage, and really get this party started. But no she was headed to the bakery next door. But we'll be on the lookout in the meantime, oh we'll be on the lookout real good.

So real quick the pro and cons

Pros
-No Cover
-Zero Hustle
-Free Coffee
-No Crowds
-Cheer's like environment where I'm Norm...and well only Norm is the only one there but still every body knows my name, the one other guy there, Charlie does at least

Cons
-Absolutely no women whatsoever

To me there's a helluva lot more in that Pro column. But you decide if your built for this life. "The Life" as I refer to it.

As far as OTC is concerned. I usually have to lie and wait for mongers I know of that had OTC the prior night, I have to wait for them to emerge with said stripper come morning time. And then I usually harass the both of them until they start running away. So admittedly there's been little success on that front, but you know I'm thinking I'm due. The law of averages is in my favor.

You know at the end of day, or maybe I should say at the beginning, I really think we're building something here. Day by day. I think this is sort of the frontline of a new cultural movement in the strip club world. You could say I'm sort of the Nigel Farage of Brexit if you will, of leaving the night shift for good. Then around noon I finally fall asleep for about 14 hours, wake up 2am, rinse and repeat. It's noble lifestyle for a noble early bird type man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzXNdLVZ…