Return to Michigan, Return to Strip Clubs?
Leonard313
Michigan
It wasn't until I moved away from my home state back in 2010, then returned for a visit that I learned my way around the clubs. And it wasn't until 2012 when I moved to California that I learned how the strip clubs, the escort game, and the massage parlors all worked and the positives and negatives of the various options. I even made my one trip across the southern border to experience the real Tijuana.
Well, now I'm home. Not quite Detroit...but close enough. And the question is...should I return to the clubs? I'm older and wiser. I now know the "game". I'm single, no family obligations, and comfortable financially. Clubbing could be a hobby like any other. They provide a service I need...a service that is difficult to find for men. I provide them with income. It's an arrangement thousands of years old. As long as they are free to make their own decisions (no trafficking, no pimps, over 18, etc...) and I am honest with myself that I'm just a customer...nothing more....then it's a simple transaction. It's not that much different than dating. I pay for a series of meals and nights out...eventually the woman provides sex. She is usually receiving multiple meals and nights out from multiple men and providing multiple men with sex. The only difference is...she usually gives me her real name...and it's less likely she's a drug addict who was sexually abused at one point in her life (although...not a guarantee by any means).
On the flip side...there are a few "reservations" that have at this stage of my life:
1. As we get older...a part of us does want 'more'. Maybe something 'real'. You know that feeling when you hand her $200...after the deed is done...and you're satisfied...but you're also kinda sad. Some of that is, sad that you're out $200. But, at least a little bit of that sadness is, you're sad that it wasn't real. It was a dream and now you just woke up...sans $200.
2. As we get older...we sometimes seek a more spiritual foundation....a closer relationship with God (or whomever you choose to worship). I've yet to find a God that doesn't at least 'frown upon' that paying of money to watch nude women dance. It's a shame really...to make such beauty and then scold us for wanting to stare at it...but I digress. My point is....there's a part of me that wants to give it up and just go to church instead. It won't help my erection...at ALL...but maybe there's something deeper out there that I'm missing out on.
3. Back when I was clubbing...frequenting an occasional escort...visiting a massage parlor or two...I was upper 30s, low 40s. I was 210-225. I'd rate myself a 2.5 out of 10...but I rate pretty harshly. Most folks would probably say I was a decent 5-6. I was above average weight...but I ran regularly and was "okay". NOW, I'm mid to upper 40s...245-265...and I know this sounds kinda self deprecating but: paying a woman to do "stuff" with me now just seems cruel. Before, it seemed okay because, I wasn't 'that bad' to look at. But NOW...it seems like I'm violating some type of Geneva convention. And even if I'm not...it ruins the illusion. When you're a good looking fella, or even averaging looking fella...you can at least lie to yourself and tell yourself that the stripper might actually like it. Of course, she doesn't. She generally finds you repulsive in every way and if it wasn't for needing rent and a hit of smack...she'd probably kick you in the head with her high heels...but you can at least "live the illusion" a little. If you look Louie Anderson (RIP)...it's really hard to even convince yourself of the illusion.
So, those are my thoughts. A bit neurotic at this point. I've put together a list of the place I might want to hit. I'd like to tour every club in the Detroit, Ann Arbor, Jackson, Lansing area and write a review. I think the Landing Strip is the only one I've actually been to. Actually, a couple in Sarnia and a Deja Vu near Lansing back in the day. Most of my reviews have been in Cali. And who knows what Covid has done to the scene.
Adjudicators
RockAllNight
Need to club in the Detroit, Ann Arbor, Jackson, Lansing area and get these foul ideas out of your head.
Good Luck!
JC2003
Not an Article. Should be posted on Discussion Board
Want 4 weeks free VIP to tuscl?
Write an article
12 comments
good article sir.
i myself was 61 when i seriously started clubbing after splitting from the ex.
and 62 when i had my first experience in p4p sex. and 64 when i finally experienced tj.
all in all a dang good ride.
spent a LOT of money.
made LOTS of mistakes of where to enjoy the ladies. (especially vegas…).
man.
I need more money. and good health.
and maybe more time.
The strip clubs were always the "better bets" because even though the house was getting a take of the action (sometimes too much of a take to be honest), you rarely found yourself in one of those pimp/trafficking situations like you did with escorts/massage parlors. Granted, you pay a premium at the SC. What costs you $100 to an escort or $175 at a massage parlor is going to run closer to $300 at the SC by the time you pay valet, cover, drinks, stage tipping, lap dances, waitresses, shooter girls, buying strippers drinks they don't actually drink, tipping the bouncer, paying the VIP fee, paying for a condom, paying for extras, and tipping for extras.
Leonard313 and Hustler313? Sounds a bit incestual. But, yeah. I'll definitely look ya up once I get my place unpacked.
Right now it still looks like a game of Tetris. I've unpacked the condoms, sex toys, and pornography...the essentials...but I still need to focus some effort on finishing my move before focusing on reinvigorating my strip club review game.
First - Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. Many TUSCLers share similar qualities. I will say, aside from a lucky few PLs who figure out SCs/AMPs/Escorts early, many come to it later in life - after experiencing soul-crushing marriages/LTRs, cataclysmic breakups, etc., ad nauseum. Welcome to a very large club.
Your rationalization re pimps/trafficking/payment-for-services is normal and healthy. You're not trying to hurt or cheat anyone, and your conscience is intact. You ARE however, struggling from confused/conflicted values/beliefs that I think once resolved, will set you right.
To your points...
1. Transactional sadness - Yes, "you" (as in, sense-of-self) don't really exist in transactional relationships - anywhere. Providers of all types (Dental hygienists, hair cutters, car mechanics, etc.) can't and don't normally "see" you as a unique and valued person who deserves their attentional value, irrespective of the transactional circumstances. The minute your money stops, their attention stops. However, that does NOT mean they dislike your company, wish you were dead, or would rather eat broken glass than be serving/servicing you. You're "real" in the sense they're choosing to be with you in that time and space, for the consideration of your payment. But ONLY if you're the kind of customer they want to serve. Your "real" self does come into play here. Be rude, arrogant, slovenly, etc., and they reserve the right to not serve you. It takes two to tango, and their providing a service as arranged is a tip-of-the-hat to who you are. It's real, authentic, and worthy of your time/money.
2. The whole god/morality thing - You're laboring under an assumption that a god (if one even exists) has established some kind of behavioral gold standard, and that churches can be the arbiter of meaning/values. I question those assumptions. In fact, I'd err on the other side and suggest that religion, traditions, and some form of omni-powerful god are key sources of man's suffering. In reality, you are an independent agent, as are the girls you're seeing - in every context. Morals are agreed upon and shared in society to keep the wheels turning. But they're fungible and imbued only with meaning we give them. If two people share a value set (paying money for physical and quasi-emotional attention), then we have a win/win. No shame, no harm, and no smote from above.
3. Your physical self - In the context of #2 above, if a girl chooses to see you, then she's decided you're "worth it," because she's already taken into account your physical presence. Of course, anyone would likely rather be with a good-looking, healthy person, all things being equal. But her decision in that moment, is not all things equal. It's a unique confluence of factors - the totality of you (physical and interpersonal) mixed with her own motivations/circumstances that drive the decision. That's not to say you shouldn't improve your physical self for a variety of reasons, one of which is more girls may opt to be with you, or at least find their time with you more agreeable - both good things.
So yes, check out the Michigan clubs you missed earlier. You're in a great (and enviable, for some) position to expand your horizons and satisfy your curiosity. Nothing's set in stone. At some later point, you may decide the cost/payoff is no longer worth it, and perhaps swing back toward more conventional relationships. It is (and always has been) your choice.
Good luck, man!
Interesting takes.
@Orange
I'm don't think I'm allowed to speak for God. However, I'm "pretty sure" His stances on obesity, rape, bragging, lust, and incest are well publicized. A little confused how that fits into the conversation...but I may have missed something.
I got in the game five years ago after being in a dark place for a few years following a bad breakup and I haven't had one ounce of regret and never will. Wish I would have started sooner because it's been a game-changer. I'm happier, healthier, more motivated. Sure, I occasionally miss the emotional connection that comes from a conventional relationship, but I don't miss the drama and baggage. Maybe one day I'll find someone and quit the hobby. Until then, I'm going to keep sexing up beautiful young women and feel any guilt whatsoever for enjoying one of life's greatest pleasures.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent. Hope you're able to have fun and disconnect from your guilt. No sense in punishing yourself for desires that don't hurt anyone.
I "hope" they don't hurt anyone. I've been in a couple situations where I left wondering if it was a situation where the other party was a victim more so than a willing participant. Those encounters haunt me. I never sought them out, and they were rare (as far as I knew)...but back in the Backpage era...it was an occurrence from time to time...just a "feeling" you had that something wasn't right. Those are the ones I feel the "guilt" about. And those don't occur in strip clubs (at least I've never encountered that situation in a strip club). The other ones are just transactions. I'm paying for a service that is being offered. And the only "guilt" there is religious doctrine (as you're familiar with) and whether I'm putting money to good use that I could use for a better purpose.
I think guilt is natural and it's part of the game for both the dancers and the customers. It's something we all deal with and get past in order to pursue these interests. Sometimes it's healthy just to acknowledge that it's there...even if there's no good solution to it.