McKigney

A dancer in Toledo had the DJ play The Golden Girls theme for her stage set. Got some good laughs from the audience for that.

I was wearing a Twilight Zone t-shirt at a lower end club a couple of years ago. A very lovely young thing came by to say "ooh, I love that. I'm a big fan of the movies." "Wait, you're a fan of the Twilight Zone? You seem too young to even know what that is." "Yeah, I just love vampires!" I didn't want to explain that The Twilight Zone and Twilight are very different things, so I just smiled and went with it.

Hope you have fun... but seriously, avoid Keeders.

No worries, hon, everybody has bad days. It was a pleasure to get to know you a little, and I hope today is better for you.

The worst club I've ever been to is a pit called Keeders Show Bar in Jackson, Michigan, which I visited several years ago. I walked in, looked around, considered turning around but somehow didn't. It's kind of a shabby place, dingy and gloomy. There was a shiny new digital jukebox on the wall that seemed out of place. The woman at the bar fetched me a warm can of Budweiser, and I swiveled my barstool to face the empty stage. That's when a very pregnant young lady approached and said hi, placing herself between my knees, pushing her very swollen belly against me. IIRC, she was actually not bad looking, but I definitely remember desperately hoping her water wouldn't break. I couldn't bring myself to tell her to get lost, but I'm sure I was giving off uncomfortable vibes. There was only one other patron in the place, a very large, sloppy old guy sitting at a table, talking to a matronly, pear-shaped older woman, who I figured was the house mom. Nope. After a few minutes she went to the jukebox, selected some songs, and got on stage to dance. That's when I noticed another woman at the end of the bar. She looked ancient, and reminded me vaguely of Popeye. Maybe she was Popeye's grandmother. She kept looking my way and smiling, and eventually she stubbed out her cigarette, sauntered over to me and my pregnant visitor, and let me know that she would be happy to join the two of us in the back room "for some fun." I'm proud to say I managed to keep my lunch down. The pregnant dancer told her to go away, and she did. Then preggers seductively suggested to me that we could do some dances. Since I didn't feel like delivering a baby, I declined, said I had to be going, and quickly walked out of that weird place into the real world. Sometimes I think about going back to Jackson for a visit just to make sure I didn't imagine the whole place.