Strip Clubs in the New York City Metropolitan Area: Random Thoughts, Notes, Musings and a Bird's Eye View
Muddy
USA
-Overall I think the area I would put as average. It's not the worst as some may say but it ain't the best either. The one thing it does have is options. You are not in a place that's limited by one or two strip clubs. There's probably near 100 strip clubs/go go bars in the area.
-Suburbs wise there is way more going on in the western suburbs, in New Jersey than the eastern suburbs in Long Island IMO. But both have way more going on than the Northern suburbs though it's only like two clubs unless want to keep going up into to Connecticut, but there still isn't a ton of options. The south suburbs well that would be the Atlantic Ocean I'm sure there's some dead mafia victims down there. We can get together and fish them out with all our Necrophiliac friends and after we're done fucking them, we can ask about the strip clubs down there.
-Manhattan is just a fun place be just in general, and for clubbing there's just this big league feel to it. It's just classy, people are dressed nice, you could wear a suit and it not be OD at all, people are professional, it's like the strip club equivalent to putting on Sade. (it's something to appreciate after visiting countless shitty dive bar masquerading as strip clubs all over America) And I don't think it's a bad as some say, you could still have fun you just got to not have your head up your ass. And OTC can work anywhere if that's your thing. BUT just know the NY hustle is real. And you can find some of the biggest sharks in the stripper world working in Manhattan. It's tends to be a transient group of customers, so it doesn't hurt for the girl to just sell you a dream in VIP, lie and get their money...
...I would not be jumping into these VIP's (which tend to be cost prohibitive in Manhattan) right away, you got to do everything you can to vet and avoid any red flags. Either way your gonna deal with some risk but not being a fucking idiot goes a long way. Otherwise if your loaded, Manhattan can give the experience you want. You really can find some of prettiest girls from around the world working in these clubs. Just not a place for beginners at all. These girls are NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS. Understanding that right out of the gate can save you a lot of money and a lot of heartache.
-Particularly in Manhattan but not necessarily you can see this anywhere, but always check the website before going. In a couple places like Rick's and Hoops they want you to print a free cover coupon before you go. Also I try to hop on as many email/text lists as I can it doesn't bother me to get these alerts and there's some good deals sometimes. Not too long ago I had text from Sapphire 60 to come through for free cover and a free drink up to $20. That's really not a bad deal.
-I mentioned this in the Jersey article I did as the best region of Jersey for clubs but it will also go for the entire region as the strongest area for strip clubs in the area for my money. That's the part of Jersey that runs from south of Newark Airport on down. From Lookers to Breathless to 35 to Go-Go Rama to Centerfolds and clubs in between I like them the best for my tastes. I'm not everybody though.
-I would not try to drive into Manhattan on a weekend night might be just a pain in the ass. Also for the area overall, try to avoid rush hour. It really is just miserable. Sitting on the Belt Parkway for fucking 4 hours to go 10 miles, shit. Outside of rush hour though it's not that bad. That includes taking the trains at these times. Unless you get a kick out of being packed in like cattle, I can't fucking stand it.
-From a tourist point of view, New York City in the last 10 years had the biggest building boom since the '30's. Be it public or private construction. If you haven't been in a while there's a lot of things about the city that look very different. Even with just a quick glance at the skyline it's very obvious, after 9/11 the empire state building was the largest skyscraper in Manhattan. Now when you look at the skyline, it's dwarfed by a quite a few buildings with more to come. And some new stuff to check out include the Oculus, the high line, little island, and the Vessel at Hudson Yards.
-All these bridge tolls are the bane of my existence. I do not want to even look at my EZ pass bill every month. I can cut through Manhattan (although that'll add 30 minutes so I usually just end up biting the bullet) leaving out to New Jersey but there is no way to avoid it coming back. Just be aware of that it is a part of life in this area, especially if you don't have an EZ pass. There are a lot of parts of the country where you don't have to deal with any tolls, it's real nice.
-Latinas are the dominant group of dancers in the region and they are in most clubs which might be different than some places in the middle of the country or just not near the southern border where it seems to be mostly white or black. 50/50 whether off the boat, don't know english type or American latina. Also unlike the southwest the Latinas here aren't all Mexican. There are some Mexican girls here but the two groups that really stand out are the Puerto Ricans and Dominicans. Some Colombians too. And another group you'll find more so in New Jersey though is Brazilians.
-Also with the white girls it's going to be 50/50 on whether they are American white girl or Eastern European/Russian girls.
-NYC is the birthplace of hip hop, when it was actually good. I know long ago. There's just this hip hop vibe Harlem and up and throughout Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx. So just don't expect too much Rock music in the city clubs. I like a bunch of types of music personally so I'd like to see so more music diversity in the strip clubs around here.
-There's a lot of behind the bar dancing/tip parade spots in the area (not in Manhattan though) which I'm not crazy about that set up I like the standard stage and seating orbits the stage set up. I'm not privy on all the fucking regulations and rules and what not in each jurisdiction with alcohol but I'm sure that plays some kind of role in me seeing what I see out there as far as set ups go.
-BYOB is not legal in NY state.
-Alcohol spots, New York Clubs go till 4am. NJ clubs to till 2am.
-Beware for BYOB in Jersey they don't sell alcohol in gas stations in New Jersey. New York State they do.
Just on types of girls, not speaking about the club or mileage itself....
-These are mixed clubs but if thinner natural black girls are you thing, go Show Palace or Sapphire 39.
-If more instagramy, badunkadunk in the trunk, rap video looking black girls are your thing go Atlantis NYC or Starlets.
-If white girls are your thing, unless your going to Gallaghers 2000 in Queens, Pumps in Brooklyn or MVP Cabaret in Staten Island I would just stay out of the outer boroughs. Mostly Latina and Black girls dancing in Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx. Go to Manhattan or go out to Long Island, NJ or slightly upstate NY suburbs.
-Big line ups of big booty Latinas try Breathless, Sugar Daddy's, Satin Dolls in Lodi, Bourbon Street, 35 club, and Lookers.
-If your into thinner elegant girls of all types try Manhattan, in particular Rick's and Sapphire 60. Mirage in Long Island or Fringe in Jersey.
-GFE kind of spots, this can honestly be more of a daytime kind of thing in a lot of spots (I'm almost strictly a night guy) but two spots off the top of my head Rosewood theater near the Javits Center and Clancy's Pub.
-Alternative clubs with tattooed American white girls, try Pumps in Brooklyn or Black Betty's in Jersey.
That's all just in general.
For mileage...
-I'm gonna point you to New Jersey. Just so many options, now I can't guarantee you'll want go on high mileage road trip with all the girls but it is there. I don't know if TUSCL is aware of just how many options if you really look at it. There's also the Edison Strip on Long Island which are just straight up brothels I don't even think they try to hide it.
-If money really isn't too much of an issue (but how often is that case??? but hey maybe your just in fuck it all, let's go mode) you can have a great time in Manhattan. It is there. And the girls not always, but there is some incredible talent dancing there. Mistakes can be punishing though. The girl is likely looking for a tip about what you paid for the room. Some people don't see that as an issue at all, they want what they want. All I'm saying is that they can get it. Me, I'd rather just save that money for when I have to change my transmission.
-I grew up in this area but I didn't really become a strip club fan around here (was still doin bars and night clubs) I became a monger in the Texas strip clubs. When I came back here I couldn't find a club that had it all, comfortable, mileage, music, type I'm into, affordability, friendliness all that shit in one like one my regular spots the Red Parrot. Some spots that I recommended 35 club in Sayreville and Centerfolds in Neptune I would not say are hang out spots more get in and get the fuck out kind of clubs. I'm still looking for a place that has everything I want, probably not in the cards right now, it's asking a lot but who knows, places do change over time. Sometimes so quick that half the stuff I just typed above is already wrong but also then again sometimes it's the same shit for 20 years.
-In a lot of ways doing this little recent scouting journey, it's not even so much what clubs to go to for me, but more it's so I know what NOT to go to. Process of elimination type thing. And I like to know exactly what my options are so I make the best decisions for me and whatever I'm feeling that night.
-Short stay hotel spots I've hit in the past:
(not in the hood either)
Bronx: Friendly Motor Inn, Paradise Motor Inn
Brooklyn: Bogart Hotel
Queens: Cross bay Motor Inn, Flushing Motel, Super 8 Long Island City, Queens Hotel
NJ: Super 8 North Bergen, Domino Inn, Belleville Motor Lodge, Wayne Inn, Westview Motel
Long Island: Coliseum Inn
-Food there's a lot of everything but for me the Italian American stuff here is where it's at and that's true for the whole area. Whether it be italian delis (Gotta get a hero), pork stores, pizza or just sit down restaurants. Just make sure to google or use word or mouth. Especially for pizza, to say every pizza place is good here is insane. There are so many shitty spots. You got to do some online research. And the right way to do it is get a whole pie, unless it just came out don't do a slice that's just been sitting there, it sucks.
Hopefully this article and all the region articles helped break this area down for you to give you an idea of at least where you might want to go, get some leads and then dig into those reviews from there, whether you live here yourself or just passing through or visiting. Anyway thanks for reading, now after hitting all these fucking strip clubs I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm taking a break. I'm going to bed. I'll be dreamin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oarHvaxB…
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Just a quick add on of couple things
For elegant girls I'll add in Taboo to that list.
Short stay Motels in Mahattan. Liberty Inn and St. Marks Hotel
Also another one in Queens Kew Motor Inn.
And as far as fitting in around here, just walk down the street, mumbling "Pacino, DeNiro, Deniro, Pacino" That's what I do and I'm wholly accepted and downright worshiped 'round these parts.