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reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

Discussions by reverendhornibastard (page 11)

discussion started

4 years ago

Reasons to Love TUSCL

There are plenty of reasons to love TUSCL. Here are just a few of my reasons for enjoying my TUSCL membership. 1. It’s fucking wonderful to have a bunch of world-class degenerates who are always happy...

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4 years ago

Tragic News From the Far Side

Mrs. Hornibastard received a phone call from Indonesia late yesterday that kept her on the phone jabbering incessantly for more than an hour in our formal, front living room. When she finally came out,...

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4 years ago

Covid19 May Have Killed Off My Last Bad Habit

I have not been to a strip club since before the COVID-19 scare came to America. Before the pandemic, it was very unusual for me to last two weeks without sneaking off to one of...

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5 years ago

Why I Stopped Praying

I stopped praying when I was in elementary school. I was still at a tender age when it became clear to me that praying was, at best, a colossal waste of time and, possibly,...

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5 years ago

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I recently received the wackiest job offer of my life. I’m quite certain no one will ever give me a wackier proposal. By way of background, I am an attorney with very extensive international...

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5 years ago

Reverend Hornibastard’s Covid-19 Fashion Tips

Just because we should all wear masks to protect ourselves from the viruses that others are spreading and to protect others from the viruses we may be unwittingly carrying and spreading, that doesn’t mean...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

5 years ago

Making ‘em Squeal & Grunt in the #MeToo Era

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I keep hearing how the “Me Too” movement has changed the sexual playing field forever. It is probably politically inappropriate for me to express...

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5 years ago

Dealing With a Mouthful of Splooge

Only naïve or hopelessly inexperienced men believe that dealing with a mouthful of splooge is strictly woman‘s and a gay man’s dilemma. It just ain’t so. I consider myself a hard-core heterosexual male. I’ve...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling? (Part Six) I Should Have Fucked Yuni!

PART SIX: I Should Have Fucked Yuni! ... continued from Part Five: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71665 “You know which of my friends we never included that I really wished we had?” Mrs. Hornibastard asked wistfully. “I wish we...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling? (Part Five) Fucking our Guests

PART FIVE: Fucking our Guests ... continued from Part Four: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71650 . . . when Mrs. Hornibastard found herself fantasizing about watching me fuck her friends while we were canoodling, she decided it was finally...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling? (PART FOUR) -Breaking the Splooge Barrier

PART FOUR: Wiwik Breaks the Splooge Barrier and Show Time Gets Underway ... continued from Part Three https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71641 If Sri was the champion among our guests for giving me a raging boner without laying a hand...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling? (Part Three) Skinny Dipping Paradise

PART THREE: Skinny Dipping Paradise ... continued from Part Two: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71623 After our return from Bali, Mrs. Hornibastard began asking if she could invite a friend or two to join us in the pool. I...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling? (Part Two)

PART TWO: How Mrs. Hornibastard Became Such a Flaming Exhibitionist ... continued from Part One: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71605 “Yes, I remember our wild days,” I said calmly as I wondered if she was going to...

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5 years ago

What Do You Think of While Canoodling?

PART ONE: Mrs. Hornibastard Poses the Question Women love to talk. The current (third) Mrs. Hornibastard is no exception. During a recent, post-canoodling cuddle she suddenly asked me, “What do you like to think about...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

5 years ago

Professional Civvies

We spend a lot of time on this site comparing notes on our experiences with desploogination service professionals (“DSPs”). We rarely discuss our experiences with”civvies” (i.e. women who will happily desplooginate you for their...

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5 years ago

Hormonal Inequality

Both men and women have hormones to deal with. Unfortunately, the burdens of managing hormones fall unequally on the two genders. From the onset of puberty until old ripe age, men live...

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CJKent (Banned)

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5 years ago

Priapism & Erectile Dysfunction

I’m getting old. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In a way, I’m proud of my age. It shows that I was smart enough to avoid snuffing out my life prematurely as...

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5 years ago

Life and humor both involve timing. Comedians always say humor requires good timing. But in real life, I think humor requires bad timing ... the more atrocious, the better. When my stepson (now all...

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5 years ago

The Joys of Marrying a Foreigner

Women are notoriously difficult to understand. The problem is only exacerbated when your woman doesn’t speak your language very well or, as in our case, barely speaks it at all. In the...

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5 years ago

Are Gorgeous Women Better in Bed?

Most of us spend a lot of time, energy and money trying to get sticky with the most beautiful women we can find. But are extraordinarily beautiful women actually better, more satisfying sex partners...

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5 years ago

Remember to keep the “X” in X-mas!”

https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3496...

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5 years ago

Don’t Buy Your Candy Based on the Wrapper!

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but buying candy based on the wrapper is one that I have avoided. Yes, I’ve had canoodled and even had brief relationships with lots of...

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reverendhornibastard

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5 years ago

7 Signs You’re in the Right Club

1. When you first enter it’s so dark inside the club you can barely see your hand in front of your face much less your boner; 2. The floor is sticky and the whole place...

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reverendhornibastard

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5 years ago

Some are More Dangerous Than Others

I have plenty of experience navigating the dangerous rip currents, eddies and whirlpools found in the turbulent waters of strip clubs. I know how to spot danger and have learned to stay away from...

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5 years ago

The Essential Equipment

Women come “equipped” to varying degrees. Most women’s equipment falls short of the optimum in one or more important categories. Some women have marvelous jugs but have butts that resemble an armored personnel carrier....

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Political Discourse

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5 years ago

Facing an Awkward Truth

Who are our favorite movie villains lately? Hollywood gives us many to pick from but among the more common bad guys lately are Middle Eastern terrorists. After all, they’re in the news all the...

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5 years ago

What I’m Most Thankful For

I probably won’t mention most of these at the dinner table later today, but the things I am most thankful for include the following: 1. My surname isn’t “Schitter,” “Fokkwad” or “Aszwype.” 2. I have a...

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5 years ago

Eating Pussy For Fun & Profit

Everyone needs a hobby. Mine is eating pussy. There is nothing I like better than massaging a beautiful woman’s pink pearl and vulva with my long, muscular tongue. Playing golf, international travel, a tropical...

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5 years ago

What’s Your Poison?

Every man has a different weakness. Some men can’t resist a woman who is a classic beauty. Some guys go ape-shit over a woman who is ferociously sexy. Others crave women with an incorrigibly...

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5 years ago

What Does “Love” Really Mean?

“Love” means different things to different people. To each person, “love” will have very different meanings as life unfolds. Until I was about 4 or 5 years old, “love” was the word I used...

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5 years ago

10 Things My Children Taught Me

1. Children spread disease more effectively than roaches, fleas and mosquitoes combined. 2. Children differentiate by gender whether you want them to or not. Neither my son nor daughter missed a single gender stereotype...

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5 years ago

Three Brushes with Mental Illness

I’ve had three brushes with mental illness in my life (so far). Two of them affected significant others and one affected me. Mrs. Hornibastard #1 started getting weird towards the end of our...

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5 years ago

My Most Romantic Moment

My most romantic moment was not what you might expect. There was no nudity involved. There were no orgasms. The setting was not candlelit. We were not alone in some idyllic garden setting or...

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5 years ago

Amazon Getting into the Mail Order Bride Business!

We all knew it was just a matter of time. If there is a potential to make some money, somebody is going to exploit it. Starting after the first of next year Amazon will...

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5 years ago

Retiring from Retirement

As of today, I am retiring from retirement. I’ve been retired for a year plus a couple of weeks. I gave retirement a fair try. But now I am sick and tired of...

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5 years ago

It i’s truly pathetic that you have to turn to a discussion group on TUSCL to read something rational about DACA. But that’s how crappy and distorted the mainstream news media coverage has become...

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5 years ago

Taking It Up My Ass for Love

I’m not gay and I’m not from California, but once every five years I take it up my tailpipe in the name of love. I really hate doing it but about 10 years ago...

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5 years ago

I’m Not a Veteran (But I Tried)

When I was of draft age the Vietnam War was underway but America was already reducing its presence. My parents, worried that their first born would go to Vietnam and come home in a...

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5 years ago

Ten Steps to Great Sex

A GUIDE BY REVEREND HORNIBASTARD Ever since Icey Loco was chased off TUSCL discussion boards by its members there has been a paucity of sage advice on how to entice a woman into bed and...

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5 years ago

An Encounter With Cute Chinese Schoolgirls

Before you reach for the Crisco (or whatever your preferred wanking lubricant might be) I should warn you that my encounter with four cute Chinese schoolgirls was not exactly what dreams are made of....

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5 years ago

Penetrating the Thai Condom Market

Thai cultural watchdogs recently banned a line of condoms named after a popular country singer, Tom Dundee. The name was deemed too suggestive for Thai consumers because “Dundee” means “good penetration” in the Thai...

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5 years ago

The Difference Between Western and Asian Cultures

I often went deep sea fishing on weekends when I lived in Africa. The fishing was usually pretty good. We caught a lot of dorados (also called mahi-mahi). They are fun to catch and...

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5 years ago

I spent my career in an industry that had gone global long before “globalism” became a buzzword. From the outset, my job kept me traveling all over the world. After 8 years of nearly...

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5 years ago

Some Cosmically Bad News

It seems like almost every time we turn around we find evidence of yet another colossal fuck up by dear old God Almighty. Here’s yet another “act of God” to contemplate. This one should...

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reverendhornibastard

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5 years ago

The Best Sex I Never Had

I met Ophelia while I was living in Southeast Asia. She was an incredibly hot woman of Chinese ancestry. Stunningly beautiful, Ophelia was easily in the 950 - 980 mH range. She was intelligent,...

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5 years ago

A Heads-Up About $$$

Verizon has been my cellphone carrier for a few years now. I was satisfied with their service but thought their prices were a bit on the high side. A couple of years ago someone...

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5 years ago

Mike Pence feels threatened by science. He recently announced his determination to have the now extinct species “Homo erectus” given a less offensive name. “I don’t believe in evolution anyway,” Pence told reporters. “Evolutionary...

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5 years ago

Will We Go Extinct?

Hell yes! Abso-fuckin’-lutely! Homo sapiens will definitely be extinct some day. We could be extinct pretty soon or it might take a long time, but all species eventually die out. There is no reason to believe...

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