Eating Pussy For Fun & Profit

avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Everyone needs a hobby.

Mine is eating pussy.

There is nothing I like better than massaging a beautiful woman’s pink pearl and vulva with my long, muscular tongue. Playing golf, international travel, a tropical cruise, even riding a loud, chrome encrusted Harley to my favorite high mileage strip club doesn’t come close to the joys of eating pussy.

When it comes to eating pussy, I just can’t get enough. My personal best in this realm of endeavor is 2 hours and 45 minutes of nonstop pussy eating. (I couldn’t say “Mississippi” for a couple of days afterward ... but my victim was sure happy.)

There is not a woman alive who doesn’t enjoy having her pussy licked by someone who really knows WHERE and HOW to lick.

Nerdy kid that I was, when I was about 17 years old I went to the public library (there was no internet back then) and found a book that provided sexual instruction including a chapter on oral sex.

If I recall correctly, that’s when I first found out that women had a clitoris and that it was EXTREMELY important to pay attention to it if you wanted to leave a lasting favorable impression.

Sure enough, making love to a woman’s clitoris with your tongue and lips is an extraordinarily effective way to win a woman’s heart. I’ve bedded women who were doctors, lawyers, dentists, CPAs, stock brokers, university professors and even a few Hooters waitresses. But no matter how professional they were, no matter how high and mighty, despite all their erudition, poise, sophistication and elegance, once you start caressing a woman’s pink panic button with your lips and tongue her animal side quickly emerges. Once your doctor, lawyer, CPA or stock broker lady friend is gripping you by the hair on your head and making very unladylike noises while she humps your face, you’ve won her over.

After a good, lengthy session of pussy eating, once you’ve treated her to more orgasms than she’s had in the last 12 months, she will agree to anything. Now it’s your turn to toss her around the room like a rag doll and have some fantastic, no holes barred wild sex with your fully satisfied and now totally compliant woman.

Proper pussy eating can be so profoundly effective that, even if she just found out that you’ve been banging her younger sister, a woman will quickly find forgiveness in her heart if you do a good job of eating her pussy. It’s very difficult, maybe even impossible, for a woman to stay mad at you for very long if you’re doing a fantastic job of eating her pussy.

If you’ve done something to piss her off, eating a woman’s pussy is a lot more fun and much cheaper than buying her a fur coat or another tennis bracelet.

Believe me.

I know.

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3139

8 comments

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avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
5 years ago
Very well said - and true. The horny reverend has excellent advice.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
Thanks!

I meant to include this link to an article about the probiotic benefits of eating pussy:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.co…

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3140
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
5 years ago
avatar for FishHawk
FishHawk
5 years ago
There is nothing so satisfying then when you find the right spot, the right pressure and the right rhythm to make her moan and scream with delight.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
I enjoy eating pussy but it's not a natural must-have for me, something I do more on the spur of the moment when a nice pussy is staring back at me but it's not something I necessarily crave going in.

Having said this, it's something I don't feel comfortable doing with strippers and are more comfortable doing within a monogamous relationship due to possible health side-effects.
avatar for gawker
gawker
5 years ago
I once was given a green light from a speech pathologist and as I began going down on her she hopped up and ran to the bathroom. She returned and she loved being eaten. I believe I set my own personal best at about an hour and we then went on to have her return the pleasure and we both fell asleep. I awoke about 6:00 and barely made it to work on a quick cup of coffee but couldn’t get an awful numbing taste out of my mouth. My tongue was dead and before noon I stopped in to see my paramour. She said, “I wonder if the spermicide I put in while in the bathroom might be the problem?”
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
5 years ago
Lol, Gawker!
avatar for JAprufrock
JAprufrock
5 years ago
Awesome, Rev!
Agree, 100 percent. Eating pussy is my favorite thing to do, even more so than getting my dick sucked. It wasn't always that way. During my younger days, I was too selfish and more interested in getting off than getting her off.
But you mature over the years and now it's such a huge ego stroke to please ladies with your tongue and get them off. It's certainly worth being squirted in the face.
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