• discussions >
• Front Room

Don’t Buy Your Candy Based on the Wrapper!

reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but buying candy based on the wrapper is one that I have avoided. Yes, I’ve had canoodled and even had brief relationships with lots of drop dead gorgeous women, and all of my serious relationships and tax-deductible victims were at least reasonably good looking, but I have never (yet) made the mistake of getting sticky on a regular basis with any woman just because she was fabulously pretty.

In fact, of all the women I ever had a shot at gluing to the bedsheets, the one who was easily the most stunningly beautiful never made it past dinner with me. Her name was “Dana” and despite having an angelic face and a demonic figure, I decided before we had even finished our appetizer salads that I couldn’t wait to take her back to her home so I could drop her off and leave her there. For a few months after our first and only date Dana kept calling me and leaving sexually suggestive messages on my recorder (remember those?) but I never returned a single one of her calls.

If I remember correctly, it was my dear old dad who coined the phrase, “don’t buy your candy based upon the wrapper.”

He was right.

The women who got closest to me and who stayed longest were all better people than I am, ever was or will likely ever be.

First of all, beauty is fleeting and, in any case, no matter how unbelievably beautiful a woman is, once you’ve been nailing her for a while, she will eventually become just like any other demanding bitch who will annoy the hell out of you by constantly trying to rehabilitate you into being the kind of man she really wanted instead of what she settled for with you.

This pretty well sums it up for me:
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3443