tuscl

Taking It Up My Ass for Love

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I’m not gay and I’m not from California, but once every five years I take it up my tailpipe in the name of love.

I really hate doing it but about 10 years ago when my kids were just infants, I looked at my ugly, over-the-hill mug in the mirror one morning as I was shaving and suddenly realized, “Holy fuck! I’m really important now! I’m ‘Daddy’ for Christ’s sake!”

My kids are the ONLY reasons I can think of for scheduling a colonoscopy every five years butt, as I see it, they’re well worth the indignity.

15 comments

  • SerenitySinn
    5 years ago
    👆

    😂 haha!!
    👍
  • gammanu95
    5 years ago
    One of the funniest pieces of modern animation is when Peter Griffin received a prostate exam.
  • FishHawk
    5 years ago
    @Rev, my next colonoscopy will be next Monday. It’s not the procedure they give good drugs for that it’s the prep.
  • twentyfive
    5 years ago
    Like I say to my doctor every few years now you owe me dinner.
  • Electronman
    5 years ago
    Makes me wonder if gastroenterologists run specials for strippers. "A colonoscopy and a gang bang, that you won't remember"
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    Electronman,

    I hear that in some of the trendier neighborhoods in San Francisco you can get a colonoscopy with a happy ending.

  • bullzeye
    5 years ago
    Lol,
  • gawker
    5 years ago
    Colonoscopies are like painting a house: The hardest part is the preparation.
  • gSteph
    5 years ago
    Well, between Love and money
    Yours is the better reason
  • herbtcat
    5 years ago
    @rev, I would think that being in the "clergy" has a more direct correlation to taking it up the ass with a long plastic tube than is living in California. But I don't judge… :p

    I do recall a past prostrate exam where I expressed my disdain at having my GP slide his lubed fingers inside my middle-aged ass... He replied: "This isn't really fun for me, either."

    Fair enough. I stopped complaining, and asked for a scrip for little blue pills.



  • ATACdawg
    5 years ago
    Proctologists are a pain in the ass.....😫
  • Greanbeans
    5 years ago
    Thats funny stuff.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=INLo0Zr0_l…

    “When its over can i get a hug or something “
  • gammanu95
    5 years ago
    I had a great PCP in New Orleans, but for one little problem. He had to check when I had a slight case of prostatis. I never thought about it until that moment, but this guy had these huge thick fingers - thicker even than Gordo cigars. He's slapping on the XXL gloves and telling me to drop trou and bend over the exam table.

    I said, "Doc, I'm gonna stop you there. We're going to refer this out to a specialist or NP with long thin fingers. I'm just not comfortable with being that uncomfortable."

    He looked at his hand and said, "Most of my patients don't realize that until it's too late."

    I got my referral.
  • Prim0
    5 years ago
    @gammanu95

    LOL!
  • Cashman1234
    5 years ago
    Omg! This discussion is more entertaining than expected (after reading the title.

    I like that they don't let you drive yourself home after. I guess that's because the doctor already drove it home for you...

    I like how they describe your colon in the follow up appointment - such descriptions - your colon is pristine or spotless! Lol! I've heard CrazyJoe's proctologist is still suffering from PTSD...
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