What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I recently received the wackiest job offer of my life. I’m quite certain no one will ever give me a wackier proposal.

By way of background, I am an attorney with very extensive international experience. The fellow who made me this unsolicited offer is an old acquaintance of mine. He is an American attorney who’s I met when we were both working in Asia.

He proposed to smuggle me in to an African country. I would be taken to Africa on a container ship, tucked away in a container all my own.

I was told that the inside of my container would be made very comfy.

Upon arrival in the Africa, his pals and connections in the local government would ensure that I would clear immigrations without any problems.

My housing in Africa would be provided free of charge.

In return for my legal, commercial and management services, I would receive a 10% stake in his company. He claims that 10% interest is currently worth about $2,400,000. But if the venture is successful, the value of that 10% interest would swell to approximately $24,000,000.

What could possibly go wrong?

As a lawyer who spent nearly four decades in international transactions, this proposal was covered with bright red warning flags. There was nothing about it that I liked, least of all the part about being smuggled into a third world African nation in a freight container in the middle of a global pandemic. Maybe it’s my pathetically poor sense of adventure, but I have never aspired to be an illegal foreign worker indebted to the local criminals who aided in my illegal entry and supplied my fraudulent immigration documents.

So needless to say, I politely declined the offer.

I will be honest, $24 million would come in handy, but I worry about the mental state of my old acquaintance.

21 comments

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avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
5 years ago
Ask him if you could work from home .
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
Hey - if it was a lawyer who told you, then you probably don't have anything to worry about
avatar for gobstopper007
gobstopper007
5 years ago
Reverend, did this offer come by way of email from a San Jose library?
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
5 years ago
But if your friend was saying go to SE Asia, you would be all over it, wouldn't you ? :-)
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
5 years ago
Wow, so many questions

The obvious first question: Is your acquaintance an exiled Nairobi Prince? If not, did you speak to him personally, and could it be that his e-mail or messaging accounts were hacked?

I wonder if maybe he is indebted to the same local crooks who would have aided your illegal entry, and if this was an attempt to obtain some type of ransom for your return that would pay off his debts?

No matter how he came up with it, that was unreal. You should string him along and see how far he goes without actually dragging you into the rabbit hole.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
5 years ago
Nigeria lol.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
5 years ago
Don't be a pussy! Go for it! I want to read all about your adventure when you get back. If you get back.

avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
5 years ago
I think that someone sent your friend an email about this opportunity first and he saw the same red flags. Then, he thought...."Hey! I bet my old pal reverendhornibastard will go for it in a heartbeat and I will collect a 33% commission!" 😆😜
avatar for gobstopper007
gobstopper007
5 years ago
Could be true Atac. As an attorney I can attest that the only math we can do calculate a third
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
Warrior15 - Hell yes I’d go if it were to SE Asia!

But I wouldn’t have to be smuggled into the country on a container ship. I’d fly first class and Mrs. Hornibastard constitutes my local equivalent of a Green Card!

Jackslash - I like adventures but not the kind of adventures where I don’t come back at all or where, if I do come back, I’m in a box!
avatar for Player11
Player11
5 years ago
It sounds like a scam.
avatar for lotsoffun201
lotsoffun201
5 years ago
They probably just want your kidneys
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
Your first problem would be making it alive inside a container being shipped thousands of miles
avatar for Hugh_G_Rection
Hugh_G_Rection
5 years ago
^ What lotsoffun201 said, They want your kidneys. Especially if there was any mention of "Candy Mountain" in the letter....
avatar for CJKent (Banned)
CJKent (Banned)
5 years ago
@reverendhornibastard

Pics of the job offer letter/email or it didn’t happen.
avatar for CJKent (Banned)
CJKent (Banned)
5 years ago
@reverendhornibastard

To answer your question:
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Did you see the news about:

“Two Americans captured in failed invasion attempt, in Venezuela”

There is a Reward of up to $15 Million for information leading to the arrest of Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro for not being willing to be an American Puppet and help some Americans profit from his country.

https://www.stripes.com/news/americas/tw…
avatar for Cristobal
Cristobal
5 years ago
I guess the King of Wakonda needs help laundering all the Marvel money from the royalties.

The big bright red flag to me was the payment, why offer 10% stake and not just pay a market type deal for the services rendered, it reminds me of the saying "If it sounds too good too he true..."

Once I was offered an opportunity at a start up and in exchange for a below market wage they offered a small stake in the company, I passed and a year later the company folded.
avatar for rogertex
rogertex
5 years ago
I liked twentyfive's suggestion (first response) - Telecommute.
And tell your friend that you'll install Zoom.
... They really need you for your brilliant and devious mind. 10% stake they're gettin it on the cheap.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
CJKent,

Can’t blame you for not believing the story about the offer. It’s so bizarre that I first tried to interpret as a joke. But my old pal was serious.

Then I started to doubt his mental health. Despite the absurdity of the proposal, he was once a successful and well respected professional.

I can’t show the email without divulging both his and my identities.

Besides, any fool could fake an email, so that couldn’t really be considered dispositive evidence of the truth of my story.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
5 years ago
I mean it has to be drug trade, right?

avatar for BrotherFogHorn
BrotherFogHorn
5 years ago
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong when you don't exist?
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