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Homo Erectus

reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

6 yrs ago · 1 min read

Mike Pence feels threatened by science. He recently announced his determination to have the now extinct species “Homo erectus” given a less offensive name.

“I don’t believe in evolution anyway,” Pence told reporters. “Evolutionary theory is nothing more than a hoax! And the filthy name, ‘Homo erectus,’ was obviously chosen by dirty, brown-skinned, immigrant, pagan homosexuals whose sole intent was the corruption of our country’s morals and the encouragement of our children to engage in sodomy!”

Pence vehemently maintained that the “revoltingly vulgar name encourages American youth to view their so-called ancestors as a bunch of half-ape faggots sashaying naked around the campfire every night with raging boners engaging in unspeakable crimes against nature!”

Replies (16)Latest

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twentyfive

Hey Rev you forgot to call no homo lol

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Warrior15

I do not believe for one second that he actually said those words.

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san_jose_guy

How can we get Pence out right away. With Spiro Agnew it was an agreement that he resign instead of being prosecuted on tax evasion.

SJG

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jackslash

That name will impurity Pence’s precious bodily fluids.

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Muddy

I think Pence came off real well in that Vice presidential debate back in ‘16

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san_jose_guy

The guy is a wacko extremist.

SJG

Mentors, Sex Slave youtube.com

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joatmon

good one, rev. You had me going for a second there.

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rickthelion

“half-ape faggots”

I know the good rev’s post is satirical (though I’m surprised that fredothecrab hasn’t taken it seriously and replied with his insane crab logic) but I just want to point out that all Homo sapiens and Homo erectus are 100% apes. Just because you’re not covered in fur like the other apes doesn’t remove your apeness. It makes you hairless apes.

And you’re egotistical hairless apes too. Thinking yourselves better than the other animals just because you invented iPads. If you were really intelligent you’d have invent an iPad-like devices that was easier for a lion to use!

ROAR!!!!

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skibum609

Rick were you born a piussy or did a sad, sorry life make you one? lion is a kitty and a kitty is a pussy.

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rickthelion

^^^ That’s the rapier wit I was expecting from fredo! Good to see that you’re still obsessed with your betters — the ricks! ROAR!!!

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Cashman1234

There is no theory of evolution. However, there is a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to exist.

Mike Pence is a great VP! He’s no Dick Cheney or HW Bush - but he’s damn good! He hasn’t tried to take credit for inventing the internet like Al Gore - and he’s not tried to recite others words claiming them as his own - like Joe Biden.

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twentyfive

@Cashman

There is no theory of evolution. However, there is a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to exist. <

Ace observation lol

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Cashman1234

BTW - my comments about Pence were meant as a joke.

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twentyfive

^ I figured that

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skibum609

How long have you been impotent and filled with rage VH? I mean Piottsburgh is gross, but you could be living in Beirut or Baltimore.

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san_jose_guy

^^^^^ skibum, Mike Pence is an embarrassment and a huge potential problem.

This could be a very much different sort of country, if we will just allow it.

SJG

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