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Mike Pence feels threatened by science. He recently announced his determination to have the now extinct species “Homo erectus” given a less offensive name.

“I don’t believe in evolution anyway,” Pence told reporters. “Evolutionary theory is nothing more than a hoax! And the filthy name, ‘Homo erectus,’ was obviously chosen by dirty, brown-skinned, immigrant, pagan homosexuals whose sole intent was the corruption of our country’s morals and the encouragement of our children to engage in sodomy!”

Pence vehemently maintained that the “revoltingly vulgar name encourages American youth to view their so-called ancestors as a bunch of half-ape faggots sashaying naked around the campfire every night with raging boners engaging in unspeakable crimes against nature!”

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Hey Rev you forgot to call no homo lol

Avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15

I do not believe for one second that he actually said those words.

Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

How can we get Pence out right away. With Spiro Agnew it was an agreement that he resign instead of being prosecuted on tax evasion.

SJG

Avatar for jackslash
jackslash

That name will impurity Pence’s precious bodily fluids.

Avatar for Muddy
Muddy

I think Pence came off real well in that Vice presidential debate back in ‘16

Avatar for joatmon
joatmon

good one, rev. You had me going for a second there.

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

“half-ape faggots”

I know the good rev’s post is satirical (though I’m surprised that fredothecrab hasn’t taken it seriously and replied with his insane crab logic) but I just want to point out that all Homo sapiens and Homo erectus are 100% apes. Just because you’re not covered in fur like the other apes doesn’t remove your apeness. It makes you hairless apes.

And you’re egotistical hairless apes too. Thinking yourselves better than the other animals just because you invented iPads. If you were really intelligent you’d have invent an iPad-like devices that was easier for a lion to use!

ROAR!!!!

Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Rick were you born a piussy or did a sad, sorry life make you one? lion is a kitty and a kitty is a pussy.

Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

^^^
That’s the rapier wit I was expecting from fredo! Good to see that you’re still obsessed with your betters — the ricks! ROAR!!!

Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

There is no theory of evolution. However, there is a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to exist.

Mike Pence is a great VP! He’s no Dick Cheney or HW Bush - but he’s damn good! He hasn’t tried to take credit for inventing the internet like Al Gore - and he’s not tried to recite others words claiming them as his own - like Joe Biden.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

@Cashman

There is no theory of evolution. However, there is a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to exist. <

Ace observation lol

Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

BTW - my comments about Pence were meant as a joke.

Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

How long have you been impotent and filled with rage VH? I mean Piottsburgh is gross, but you could be living in Beirut or Baltimore.

Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

^^^^^ skibum, Mike Pence is an embarrassment and a huge potential problem.

This could be a very much different sort of country, if we will just allow it.

SJG

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