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reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

Discussions by reverendhornibastard

discussion started

a year ago

How Much Have You Spent (Wasted)?

I have been a serious and dedicated monger for almost half a century. I’ve spent more money than I can (or want) to remember in dens of depravity on every continent except Antarctica....

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discussion started

2 years ago

Unlike many other mongers who wander in and out of dens of depravity all across the country or around the world wherever business travel takes them, I usually monger close to home. Although I...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

2 years ago

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Don’t get all gooey on me. You should all know by now that Reverend Hornibastard is not exactly a sentimental guy or a guy who gets all...

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discussion started

2 years ago

Coitus Interruptus

I’ve never been fond of coitus interruptus. I’m still not. But the radiation therapy for my prostate cancer has forced me to reconsider my views on this subject. I’m now slightly more than half way...

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discussion started

2 years ago

I Can Now Relate to Hyman Roth

A few weeks ago, I didn’t know I had a heath problem. I was enjoying life, my kids and traveling to whittle down my bucket list. Then my doctor told me I had prostate...

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discussion started

3 years ago

From Wallflower to Casanova in 60 Seconds

I was desperately shy around women for a very long time. Thank God for liquor and pushy, slutty and even child-molesting women. But for them I might have remained a virgin until I was...

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Icee Loco (asshole)

discussion started

3 years ago

The Difference Between Men and Women

Most women have to be paid to have sex with a man they don’t know. Most men will pay to have sex with a woman they do don’t know. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=10648...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Pam Meets Jail Bait

When I was 16, an “older woman” (about 26 years of age) took unfair advantage of me. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=65476 At first I was absolutely delighted to be taken advantage of in this way. As I outlined...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Celebrating International Women’s Day

Could there possibly be any better way to celebrate International Women’s Day than in the dank and dark confines of your favorite high-mileage den of depravity? Of course not! I for one will go...

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Political Discourse

discussion started

3 years ago

I Don’t Need No Stinking Mask or Vaccination!

The MAGA-cappers get an awful lot of things wrong, but when they’re right, they’re right and I’m man enough to admit it! “It’s my body and I get to decide what to do with...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Hardcore Retirement

At the moment, I’m in hardcore* retirement. My kids recently received their report cards. For a third year in a row there were nothing but A’s all year long. The lowest “A”...

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theeastcoast757

discussion started

4 years ago

Falsely Accused!

For no particular reason, today I recalled when, many years ago, I got into some really deep shit with Mrs. Hornibastard #1. What made it so annoying and memorable was that, (1) the...

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discussion started

4 years ago

If you google “uchimata” you will likely find many more articles about “uchi mata” (a judo technique) than about “uchimata” (pigeon-toed stances and gaits). I don’t give a rat’s ass about judo but I...

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Call.Me.Ishmael

discussion started

4 years ago

The Unbelievably Sordid World of Adults

I still remember when my dear old dad first told me about the birds and the bees. He told me in graphic detail how babies were made. I was totally aghast! I...

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rick_the_cheesestick

discussion started

4 years ago

I’d Like to Report …

It was a very long wait, but I’d like to report that party night with Amanda finally arrived. Randall was delighted to see that Amanda was once again wearing some ultra-tight leggings that...

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discussion started

4 years ago

My first ever visit to a strip club VIP room was a marketing 101 lesson. It was November 2008 and I had recently moved back to the USA from Indonesia. I was unfamiliar...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Last Saturday Night

Amanda came over for dinner on Saturday night. We had a perfectly normal, dull suburban evening. We ate dinner. Then we all watched a movie (BFG – the Big Friendly Giant) with our twins....

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

On the Hunt for Asian Strippers

I am looking forward to my eventual post-pandemic return to the mongering life. I have a strong preference for Asian women but haven’t found any clubs in the Houston area where I can reliably...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Not Sure Whether to Be Aggravated or Elated

I thought I had at least 48 hours before Mrs. Hornibastard raised the question again about inviting Amanda to participate in our private moments. I was wrong. Mrs. Hornibastard never brought it...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

Not Dead and Buried After All!

I thought this issue was dead and buried. But as soon as Mrs. Hornibastard #3 asked me whether I thought Amanda looked cute in her ultra-tight leggings that had so mesmerized our 12...

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discussion started

4 years ago

There is Magic in the Numbers!

Today is a red-lettuce day, at least it is for me. Today the Sploogemeister turns 69 years old! Not only is that older than I’ve ever been before, it’s also a lot older than I...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

A Memorable Night in Africa

Anisa, Mrs. Hornibastard #3 (https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7236) and I eventually moved to Africa (as part of my job). For the most part, I have to say I didn’t enjoy Africa. The place where we...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

A Steamy, Frigid February Night in Houston

Yes, it was uncommonly cold last week in the deep south including in the Houston area. The Houston metro area received snow all the way down to the beach at Galveston. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7237 ...

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discussion started

4 years ago

The Mrs. Hornibastard Ratings - Part Three

I’ve been married three times (so far). I’ve always been the weak link in most of my relationships, marital or otherwise. This is part three of a brief rundown of the three Mrs....

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

The Mrs. Hornibastard Ratings Review - Part Two

I’ve been married three times (so far). I’ve always been the weak link in most of my relationships, marital or otherwise. This is part two of a brief rundown of the three Mrs....

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discussion started

4 years ago

The Mrs. Hornibastards Ratings Review - Part One

I’ve been married three times (so far). I’ve always been the weak link in most of my relationships, marital or otherwise. Here is a brief rundown of the three Mrs. Hornibastards that have...

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discussion started

4 years ago

PART FIVE: THE LAST STRAW – THE ‘+ + + MASSAGE’

Continued from PART FOUR: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75076 After nearly two years of enjoying his and her massages once or twice a week as a form of foreplay, it came time for Susan and me...

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4 years ago

PART FOUR: SUSAN’S SPECIAL MASSAGE

Continued from PART THREE. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75052 A couple of weeks had gone by since Susan’s last massage when she called me at the office and said she was in the mood and asked whether...

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rick_the_used_condom

discussion started

4 years ago

PART THREE: SUSAN’S CHANGE OF HEART

Continued from PART TWO: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75040 We moved to Indonesia during July 1992. We had only been in our new Indonesian home for a couple of months when I returned from a day at the office...

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4 years ago

PART TWO: MRS. HORNIBASTARD #2 IS INTRODUCED TO DIGITAL DEPRAVITIES:

Continued from PART ONE: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75030 Upon returning from to the USA after my prolonged but delightful first business trip to Indonesia, my employer requested that I take a posting to Jakarta. Mrs. Hornibastard #2 (“Susan”)...

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4 years ago

Our Introduction to the Delights of Asian Digital Depravities

In 1992 Mrs. Hornibastard #2 and I were both unwittingly introduced to the delightful world of Asian digital depravities. This is the epic tale of how we each learned to adapt to and...

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discussion started

4 years ago

The Cave of My Lost Innocence

I didn’t lose my virginity in a cave, but it was in a cave where I had my first make-out and steamy mutual grope session. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7056 At first, my heart wasn’t really in it. I...

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4 years ago

I Found Cheryl!

Cheryl was a beauty of my distant past. I had not given her much thought since I posted the story of my “Golden Opportunity Missed.” https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=67549 But a couple of weeks ago I woke up from...

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4 years ago

Do Gentlemen Prefer Blondes?

https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7023 If the 1953 musical comedy “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” proves anything, it proves that, despite my claims to the contrary,* I am NOT a gentleman. * https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=65746 I’m not saying I have never been attracted to...

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4 years ago

Women Who Won’t Take “No” for an Answer

The news is full of stories about all the “bad boys” who won’t take “no” for an answer. But there are also women out there who won’t take “no” for an answer. Admittedly, the dynamics differ. ...

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4 years ago

I’ve NEVER asked for Permission … EVER!

I consider it absurd that some advocate “asking permission” of a woman before you kiss her, fondle her or get sticky with her. The way some people approach this topic, I surprised no one...

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4 years ago

Things I Do & Don’t Do Well ...

I’m Good at: 1. Structuring, drafting & negotiating complex, business transactions 2. Feigning sincerity 3. Talking women out of their panties 4. Hiding my considerable conceit with self-deprecatory humor 5. Downhill skiing 6. Eating pussy 7. Procrastination (there’s no time like...

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4 years ago

Reduced to Being a Copilot

Yesterday we picked up our new sled. It’s a 2021 Mercedes GLE 350. It is an iridescent deep metallic green color. Depending on the sun angle and the sky conditions it can appear anywhere...

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4 years ago

A Close Call with Oka

I built a couple of legal teams during my career. In both instances the legal teams I recruited and trained were for the national offices in a developing or third world country. Local laws...

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4 years ago

Pure Horse Shit

There is no shortage of pure horse shit being tossed around these days. Political, religious and commercial panderers have all clearly decided that we are a bunch of morons who will believe just about...

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discussion started

4 years ago

BLS, LBS & Some Fresh Lemper

Just in case the Reverend Hornibastard household wasn’t weird enough already, now we have a recurrent BLS & LBS situation on our hands. Mrs. Hornibastard #3 is largely to blame for this. She is...

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reverendhornibastard

discussion started

4 years ago

A Fine Bottom Line?

Some people believe “progress” means, among other things, an increasing number of people of color who are lifted out of poverty and who can begin to enjoy their fair share of the American dream. Oddly,...

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4 years ago

I recently told Mrs. Hornibastard about my experiences with our emotionally needy neighbor. Her reaction was unexpected. She was very sympathetic to Amanda’s plight and was critical of my dismissive attitude towards our unhappy...

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4 years ago

Hallelujah! I Have a Nosebleed!

2020 has been a very odd year! Among the many “firsts” in my life that I’ve experienced in 2020, I can now add my peculiar sense of elation and relief over having a nosebleed....

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4 years ago

Another Broken Woman on the Periphery of My Life

First, let me make something clear. I didn’t have anything to do with the hardships the woman in this story has undergone. Moreover, I can’t help her. I’d like to, but...

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4 years ago

Teeth Cleaning with a Happy Ending?

During a global pandemic, you have to get your kick wherever you can. Yesterday I went to the dentist for a checkup and some professional dental hygiene. By the standards of dental visits, this one was...

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4 years ago

We Are Not Perverts!

Women often complain that men have a one-track mind. They say all men ever think about is sex. There is some truth to this. Most guys (me included) can be pretty rapacious...

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4 years ago

The Surprising Spawn of Hornibastard

Last night I watched “Samsara” with Mrs. Hornibastard and our 11-year old twins. Samsara is a non-narrative cinematographic tour de force by Ron Fricke (who also directed “Koyaanisqatsi,” another non-narrative masterpiece). Samsara depicts a...

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