Reverend Hornibastard’s Covid-19 Fashion Tips

Just because we should all wear masks to protect ourselves from the viruses that others are spreading and to protect others from the viruses we may be unwittingly carrying and spreading, that doesn’t mean we have to throw fashion out the window. Now, more than ever, it is important that we retain our sense of individuality and style.

I like to remind everyone that I am unique (just like everybody else). That’s why I bought myself a primo new face mask. It not only filters out nasty viruses, it also gives me a certain je ne sais quoi.

I want to tell you, my new mask works wonders. As I stroll confidently through the grocery store foraging for toilet paper, Handi Wipes, fish sticks and hand sanitizer, wearing just my primo new mask AND NOTHING ELSE, people around me scramble to remain at least SIX METERS away from me.

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You should all get a mask like mine and wear it to the exclusion of anything else when you have to go out.

When the strip clubs open back up, I’m planning to wear just my new mask.