Priapism & Erectile Dysfunction

I’m getting old.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. In a way, I’m proud of my age. It shows that I was smart enough to avoid snuffing out my life prematurely as a result of reckless, youthful excesses. Beyond that, I still have my hair and enjoy remarkably good health. I have never (yet) had to take any Viagra or similar medications.

But that’s not to say that I’ve never suffered from penis problems. Oddly enough, my two episodes of serious penis malfunctions both occurred when I was very young. I don’t recall exactly how old I was, but based on where I was living at the time, I know that I had not yet reached my 22nd birthday.

My first pecker problem was the typical old man’s issue - a pecker that refuses to rise to the occasion when a moist, pink, young opportunity presents itself. My young girlfriend and I were both mystified.

It wasn’t a lack of enthusiasm on my part. I was horny and looking forward to some vigorous, no-holes-barred canoodling but I just couldn’t perform.

This wasn’t a case of penis fatigue. If I had recently been repeatedly desplooginated then my Oscar Mayer’s failure to blossom would have been understandable. But I had gone at least 24 hours without being desplooginated.

When you’re in your early 20s, 24 hours is a long time to go between desplooginations.

My girlfriend tried everything. A blow job ... sliding her wet pussy up and down along my flaccid vital statistic.

Nothing happened.

I was mortified, perplexed and concerned.

We gave up and went for a walk instead.

When we came back to my apartment, voila! All systems were go and we had lift off!

I never understood what had gone wrong earlier.

That issue has never recurred, even after all these years.

The second pecker problem also occurred at around the same time. This new issue was the opposite of the first pecker performance failure. This time I had no problem getting an erection. Instead, this time my erection would not go away ... even long after it had outlived its useful purpose.

At first it just seemed like a joke. My girlfriend happily took advantage of my Energizer Bunny Boner. But, despite having an erection, I really wasn’t horny anymore.

An hour passed. Then two hours. Even my girlfriend had already been stiffed as much as she wanted and had lost interest in any more boner bombardment that afternoon.

At around the three hour mark, my pecker started tingling. It was not a pleasant feeling and, frankly, I was getting scared. My girlfriend suggested that maybe I should go to the emergency room. As worried as I was becoming, I just couldn’t imagine walking into a hospital emergency room and, looking like the beacon of youthful good health and virility that I was, announcing to the triage nurse that I wanted to see a doctor because I had a boner that just wouldn’t go away.

Somewhere between the third and fourth hour my penis finally deflated.

I was never so relieved to once again have a dangling participle.

Many years later I retold this story to a girlfriend who happened to be a doctor. Although I assured her that this only happened to me once, she insisted that I IMMEDIATELY seek medical assistance if it ever happened again.

This medical condition is known as priapism. According to my doctor girlfriend, a boner that won’t go away, if left untreated, could be the last boner I would ever get.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/erectile-…

I am pleased to say, that despite my years, my hydraulics are still in good working order (knock on wood)!