What I’m Most Thankful For
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I probably won’t mention most of these at the dinner table later today, but the things I am most thankful for include the following:
1. My surname isn’t “Schitter,” “Fokkwad” or “Aszwype.”
2. I have a boxcar load of money.
3. None of the desploogination service professionals with whom I’ve ever gotten sticky know what neighborhood I live in, much less my address.
4. John Denver is dead and buried.
5. I am again living in a country where I can open my mouth in the shower without risking cholera.
6. Despite my advanced age, I still have a lot of hair, it’s mostly black and, most importantly, my hydraulics still work!
7. My little girl is growing up which means I should never have to sit through “Beauty and the Beast” again trying to pretend I like it.
8. There is no heaven, no hell, no afterlife, and there certainly isn’t a god or gods.
9. While I readily admit that I may not be perfect, at least I can honestly say that parts of me are excellent!
10. I’m thankful that life is so unfair. It it were fair, after being such a shit-head all my life, I certainly wouldn’t have the wonderful family I have now or the boxcar full of money.
On the negative side, I am truly sorry the pilgrims ate turkey on the first Thanksgiving instead of a stray cat. If they’d eaten a stray cat we could all be eating pussy today!
1. My surname isn’t “Schitter,” “Fokkwad” or “Aszwype.”
2. I have a boxcar load of money.
3. None of the desploogination service professionals with whom I’ve ever gotten sticky know what neighborhood I live in, much less my address.
4. John Denver is dead and buried.
5. I am again living in a country where I can open my mouth in the shower without risking cholera.
6. Despite my advanced age, I still have a lot of hair, it’s mostly black and, most importantly, my hydraulics still work!
7. My little girl is growing up which means I should never have to sit through “Beauty and the Beast” again trying to pretend I like it.
8. There is no heaven, no hell, no afterlife, and there certainly isn’t a god or gods.
9. While I readily admit that I may not be perfect, at least I can honestly say that parts of me are excellent!
10. I’m thankful that life is so unfair. It it were fair, after being such a shit-head all my life, I certainly wouldn’t have the wonderful family I have now or the boxcar full of money.
On the negative side, I am truly sorry the pilgrims ate turkey on the first Thanksgiving instead of a stray cat. If they’d eaten a stray cat we could all be eating pussy today!
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18 comments
Believe me, rev..When your daughter is a teenager and is going out with guys who remind you of you back in the day, you will LONG for the days spent with Beauty and the Beast!
Been there. Done that.🙄😟
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3109
WCG
I agree completely!
You just can’t help but respect a woman like that!
Thankful for a 40 year marriage with love.
Thankful she's okay with me clubbing some.
Thankful for living in a country and time that's safe and easy (at least for a white, married, employed guy like me. )
Thankful I'm a few months from retirement.
❤
🌞
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growing like a breeze
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain mama
Take me home, country roads...." 😘
I'm most grateful for the woman of my dreams becoming my dream come true
I'm at an age where a lot of guys aren't healthy (either by their own doing or crap luck). I'm healthy. Aside from being generally fit, I don't take a single prescription drug, which (depressingly) surprises people.
I’m thankful SirLD experienced her in person - and shared the stories with us.
I’m thankful it’s almost the end of the year, and I haven’t fallen off the wagon yet.
I’ve been fortunate to have friends and family close.