My Most Romantic Moment

11/17/2019 6:42:33 AM

My most romantic moment was not what you might expect. There was no nudity involved. There were no orgasms. The setting was not candlelit. We were not alone in some idyllic garden setting or in a tropical mountainside hot spring surrounded by sawo trees and orchids.

We were in a parking lot.

I was not proposing marriage or kindling a torrid new romantic relationship. I was explaining to the woman who in hindsight was the love of my life why I was unable to continue seeing her, much less marry her.

See: “The One That Got Away”
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

It made her cry. Yet, she knew how much I really loved her. When she had to leave, I walked her out to her car. As she sat in her car drying her tears, I squatted down beside her open car door and told her how very much I loved her. As she had done many times before, she cupped my face in her hands, looked lovingly into my eyes and said, “I know you do.”

Despite that I had just broken her heart, she was able to say those words and comfort me by acknowledging that she knew I truly loved her.

She was a gem.

I think often of our final parting even though it’s been nearly 40 years. I still feel the same way about her today and wish I could find her and tell her how much I still love her.

I’m not even sure she’s still alive. She was 9 years older than I am and would now be 76 years old.

Nevertheless, I still quietly celebrate her birthday every year.

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3082

8 comments

Latest

rickdugan

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5 years ago

Eh. It is not uncommon, with the benefit of hindsight, to see certain people in our past through rose colored glasses. But there was a reason you didn't choose her over trying again with your first wife. There is also a reason why you didn't reach back out to her when your first marriage was over.

I have one who I look back on like that too. She was a fantastic girl who would have walked through fire for me. But if I was actually back in a relationship with her, then eventually the reasons why I chose someone else in the first place would resurface.

rickdugan

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5 years ago

As the old expression goes, the grass is always greener on the other side.

reverendhornibastard

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5 years ago

Rickdugan,

Lots of truth in those comments. I knew her long enough to realize what a gem she was but not long enough to discover her weaknesses.

A more sobering consideration is my own flaws. There is little doubt in my mind that I would have failed her if I had married her. She would have been starting menopause when I was at the height of my philandering ways during my mid-to-late 40s.

Despite the undiscovered flaws she surely had, I am certain she deserved better than me. The most that can be said positively about me was that I was always financially generous and was never verbally or physically abusive to any of my wives or girlfriends. Apart from that, I was surely the husband or boyfriend from hell.

jackslash

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5 years ago

If she had not been a stripper...
If I had been 30 years younger...
If this beautiful girl had been interested in me...

I like to think I could have had a romantic relationship with my ATF. But it probably would not have worked out.

gSteph

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5 years ago

Well, I hope she's had a good life, out there somewhere.

I wonder about some in my past life also.

JAprufrock

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5 years ago

SkiBum’s most romantic moment was with an 8 x 10 glossy of Ben Carson, a jar of Vaseline and a satin glove.

EndlessSummer

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5 years ago

I just wanna say that I ❤ the poignancy of this post...

jacej

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5 years ago

Reverend, your post (and link) caused me to have a very vivid flashback, and now I'm sad. Many (maybe all) of us have had some sort of relationship in the past that has caused us to have fond memories and maybe even strong regrets. Mine was in my senior year of college when i met a girl while studying abroad over the summer. She was from the US also and was going to college about 200 miles away from where I was. She was involved with a very serious boyfriend back State-side, but we hung out with a group of friends and had great times together. About half way through the program, we became very heavily involved - as in, spending almost every waking (and sleeping) hour together - and promised to see each other back in the US. We only managed to do that a few times, and the distance and our career paths made it too difficult. She eventually moved very far away, and we lost touch. <sigh> I don't know if she was the one that got away, but I certainly have had a lot of "what ifs" cross my mind over the past three-plus decades. I have no regrets about our time together, but I do have occasionally strong regrets about not having tried harder to chase her down. At least I would not have these "what ifs" nagging me, which I suspect will continue until the end of my days.

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