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Things I Do & Don’t Do Well ...

avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I’m Good at:
1. Structuring, drafting & negotiating complex, business transactions
2. Feigning sincerity
3. Talking women out of their panties
4. Hiding my considerable conceit with self-deprecatory humor
5. Downhill skiing
6. Eating pussy
7. Procrastination (there’s no time like tomorrow!)
8. Driving in snow & ice
9. Beating dead horses
10. Personal bubble bursting

I’m Lousy At:
1. Singing (I couldn’t carry a tune to save my life)
2. Hiding my contempt for bullshit
3. Hiding my contempt for religion
4. Any kind of mechanical repairs
5. Cooking (I can manage to burn water)
6. Ignoring a crying child (or a crying woman)
7. Keeping my pants zipped even when I really know I should
8. Tolerating stupidity in anyone (other than me)
9. Fashion sense
10. Differential equations

16 comments

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avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
•
4 years ago
Don’t number 8 is my biggest weakness as well
avatar for minnow
minnow
•
4 years ago
rhb, did you accidentally post your Linked In profile here on tuscl ? If so, a parting shot: Prior to going to an interview, a gentleman's wife said: "I hope the interview isn't more than 20 minutes because that's the longest that you can hide the inner asshole in yourself."
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
•
4 years ago
Do you want us to share or comment on your list?
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
•
4 years ago
Can relate with not zipping pants. Happens at least once a week - on a good week.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
•
4 years ago
Differential equations are difficult.
And singing on key?
I'll try the differential equation again.
avatar for Longball300
Longball300
•
4 years ago
Ugh, Diffy Q as we called it; awful, the only "C" I ever got.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
•
4 years ago
what’s a differential equation?
avatar for Longball300
Longball300
•
4 years ago
Torture for the brain:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Differenti….
avatar for joker44
joker44
•
4 years ago
@reverendhornibastard: 🏁 +100
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
•
4 years ago
Things I’m good at:

Breaking stuff

Burning food

Things I’m bad at:

Remembering any important date

Holding in farts

avatar for BBBC
BBBC
•
4 years ago
^ if you are bad at holding farts, i bet you can take me like a champ 😉
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
•
4 years ago
Things I’m good at: frickin’ everything. I’m a rick after all!!

‘cept typing on my iPad. I’m still a frickin’ lion 🦁 and it is frickin’ hard to use an iPad when you have lion claws. You damn dirty apes better make internet devices that are easier for lion to use! ROAR!! ROAR!!! ROOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar for Studme53
Studme53
•
4 years ago
Ha ha - great list Rev. Gotta have self awareness. But work in the mechanical repairs. It’s an essential part of being a man. Having the right tools and knowing what their for is 3/4 of it.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
•
4 years ago
Downhill skiing is what I am third best right after smoking weed and drunk driving ....
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
•
4 years ago
Good at.... Putting bitches on a winning team. Career management. Putting bad guys in their place. Cooking. Surfing. Rolling blunts.

Bad at.... Saving money. Getting hard with a condom on.
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
•
4 years ago
GOOD AT
Picking stocks (though I'm no Juice)
Saving money
Online dating
Microsoft Excel
Writing
Bench press
Empathy
Confronting authority figures
Dominance in bed
Troll busting

BAD AT
Art
Running
Patience
Hiding my contempt for idiots and assholes
Kissing ass
Fashion
Neat handwriting
Sitting still
Not being hard on myself
Being diplomatic
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