There is Magic in the Numbers!
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Today is a red-lettuce day, at least it is for me. Today the Sploogemeister turns 69 years old!
Not only is that older than I’ve ever been before, it’s also a lot older than I ever expected to be.
But I’m not complaining! I really have very little to complain about.
I still have most of my hair. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7277
More importantly, I woke up with wood again this morning. Despite that waking up with wood is still part of my daily routine, I make a point of not wasting it when possible. So we had a quick canoodle to start the day.
It is said, “with age comes wisdom.” I think that means that as you age you learn that:
1. Erections should not be wasted;
2. You are only young once (but you can be immature forever);
3. A man is only as old as the woman he feels;
4. Never put the call of nature on hold;
5. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time;
6. It’s better to do 1 thing great than to do 10 things well (eating pussy is my specialty);
7. Women may come cheap, but they go away expensive;
8. Sex isn’t dirty (unless it’s done properly);
9. Not all farts are dry;
10. If you’re not getting older, you’re dead!
Mrs. Hornibastard #3 already whispered that tonight, after the kids go to sleep, we will commence the celebration of my 69th in that position.
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7278
I am really looking forward to that. I hope the kids go to bed early. I might encourage them to join me in a toast or two this evening using my favorite Scotch (Laphroaig - 25).
There is a cloud of sorts on the horizon. Mrs. Hornibastard #3 said she invited Amanda to join us for the birthday cake and candle ceremony. She went on to suggest that Amanda could stay late and join us with our late evening ceremony.
I guess every silver lining has a dark cloud.
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7279
This is not the first time that subject has come up.
1. tuscl.net
2. tuscl.net
3. tuscl.net
I objected to that idea. As I’ve told her before, I reminded Mrs. Hornibastard #3 yet again that I didn’t think including Amanda in our sex lives was a good idea.
I am confident that Mrs. Hornibastard won’t include Amanda in our late night festivities unless I agree to it. I’m not worried about any sneak attacks. But she does not understand my objections to Amanda. As she sees it, Amanda is perfect because she is cute, she is willing and she lives down the street. She can walk from her home to ours in less time than it takes to boil an egg. She can’t seem to comprehend why I find that third element so objectionable. I think she honestly believes that I simply don’t find Amanda attractive because she is blonde and not Asian.
Amanda IS blonde and NOT Asian but she’s still attractive.
For now, I’m going to put the multi-bike rack on the back of the Mercedes and the kids and I will go biking somewhere interesting in the greater Houston area.
I will deal with the candles and with any complications in the post-candle festivities later.
Not only is that older than I’ve ever been before, it’s also a lot older than I ever expected to be.
But I’m not complaining! I really have very little to complain about.
I still have most of my hair. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7277
More importantly, I woke up with wood again this morning. Despite that waking up with wood is still part of my daily routine, I make a point of not wasting it when possible. So we had a quick canoodle to start the day.
It is said, “with age comes wisdom.” I think that means that as you age you learn that:
1. Erections should not be wasted;
2. You are only young once (but you can be immature forever);
3. A man is only as old as the woman he feels;
4. Never put the call of nature on hold;
5. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time;
6. It’s better to do 1 thing great than to do 10 things well (eating pussy is my specialty);
7. Women may come cheap, but they go away expensive;
8. Sex isn’t dirty (unless it’s done properly);
9. Not all farts are dry;
10. If you’re not getting older, you’re dead!
Mrs. Hornibastard #3 already whispered that tonight, after the kids go to sleep, we will commence the celebration of my 69th in that position.
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7278
I am really looking forward to that. I hope the kids go to bed early. I might encourage them to join me in a toast or two this evening using my favorite Scotch (Laphroaig - 25).
There is a cloud of sorts on the horizon. Mrs. Hornibastard #3 said she invited Amanda to join us for the birthday cake and candle ceremony. She went on to suggest that Amanda could stay late and join us with our late evening ceremony.
I guess every silver lining has a dark cloud.
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7279
This is not the first time that subject has come up.
1. tuscl.net
2. tuscl.net
3. tuscl.net
I objected to that idea. As I’ve told her before, I reminded Mrs. Hornibastard #3 yet again that I didn’t think including Amanda in our sex lives was a good idea.
I am confident that Mrs. Hornibastard won’t include Amanda in our late night festivities unless I agree to it. I’m not worried about any sneak attacks. But she does not understand my objections to Amanda. As she sees it, Amanda is perfect because she is cute, she is willing and she lives down the street. She can walk from her home to ours in less time than it takes to boil an egg. She can’t seem to comprehend why I find that third element so objectionable. I think she honestly believes that I simply don’t find Amanda attractive because she is blonde and not Asian.
Amanda IS blonde and NOT Asian but she’s still attractive.
For now, I’m going to put the multi-bike rack on the back of the Mercedes and the kids and I will go biking somewhere interesting in the greater Houston area.
I will deal with the candles and with any complications in the post-candle festivities later.
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Great idea!
Maybe we could go one of those places we would have to lie about to our significant others!
Someday, when it’s safe to do so, we should have a pervert party somewhere suitably disreputable.
I can think of a few places.
I bet you guys could suggest a lot of great places I’ve never even heard of!
🤣🤣😁😁😎😎
But I wear my bad reputation with pride.
Among my many personalized T-shirts, one of my favorites says:
Legally, it’s questionable.
Morally, it’s sinful.
Personally, I LOVE it!
I'll be turning 70 at the end of May.
I blew out the birthday candles on the first try and everyone ate some cake.
Later Mrs. Hornibastard blew my candle while I ate her cake (just as she had promised). Amanda was still in our home at the time but she was in the other room watching a movie with our kids, graciously babysitting so Mrs. Hornibastard and I could have our “adults only” celebration without having to wait for the kids to go to bed.
I appreciated that gesture very much from Amanda but I believe my 12-year old son appreciated Amanda even more than I did. He was clearly mesmerized by the tight, form-fitting outfit Amanda wore when she came over.
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7297
I admit, I was very impressed too.
Mrs. Hornibastard was initially very complimentary about Amanda’s attire and sleek, athletic looks until after Amanda went home and our 12-year old daughter said she wanted some exercise clothe’s “just like Amanda’s but in pink.” Mrs. Hornibastard and I both instantly vetoed that idea saying that such attire was intended for “bigger girls.” But our daughter immediately shot back pointing out that she is almost as tall as Amanda.
We explained that by “bigger girls” we meant “older girls” (who are not our on the cusp of being a teenaged daughter).
Our son already said he is definitely in favor of having Amanda over next weekend so she can join us for another movie night.
His sister immediately wisecracked, “you just want Amanda to sit in your lap!”
Our son denied harboring such lurid sentiments.
No one believed him.
Happy Birthday and good luck raising your kids as they enter puberty!
A very Happy Birthday, Rev! I must say that the Laphroaig - 25 is a rather difficult single-malt to love.
Fortunately, I am among those who's palette has been smitten by that particular draught. However, I do miss the 30 year old bottlings which were discontinued perhaps 15+ years ago.
Lucky for me I still have a bottle of the 1972 Glenrothes 34 year old sitting around... Perhaps I'll open it on my 69th 10 years from now.
As I’ve gotten older some of my favorite bad habits have fallen by the wayside.
I no longer smoke and I only drink on rare occasion. When I do drink, I drink very sparingly.
Better open up that bottle and enjoy it BEFORE you turn 69.