tuscl

Hardcore Retirement

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
At the moment, I’m in hardcore* retirement.

My kids recently received their report cards. For a third year in a row there were nothing but A’s all year long. The lowest “A” at the end of the year was a 96 average. Their overall, year-end averages were 97.07 and 97.00.

So I told them they could have whatever they wanted.

They said they wanted me to quit working so I could spend more time with them.

I did my manly best to hold back my tears.

I quit the job I had and took (at least) the summer off.

I’m getting used to it.

———————————

* I call it “hardcore” retirement because I have lots of spare time and energy for using and abusing Mrs. Hornibastard. (She’s a lot more fun to hop on than my elliptical.)

18 comments

  • Warrior15
    •
    3 years ago
    Congrats for taking that leap. I've thought about it. I could easily sell why business for a considerable chunk. But I'm afraid of what would I do with all the free time. The things I like to do are expensive. I think my cost of living would go up. Plus, I wouldn't' have my built in excuse for "business" trips.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    3 years ago
    Congrats rev, both on your retirement and having that relationship with your kids!

    Of course they may have been bluffing to make you feel guilty....😉

    I have enjoyed mine!
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    3 years ago
    Warrior15, I can relate. Although I had long ago come to detest business travel, I do miss the “alibis” my business trips provided.

    ATACdawg, I am trying to make the most of my time with my twins. They are 12 years old. So far, they still think I am god and want to spend as much time with me as possible. Pretty soon they will realize I am not god and begin to suspect that I am the ambassador from Planet Dork. At that point I’m sure they won’t want to be seen olin public with me anymore.
  • woodstock
    •
    3 years ago
    Enjoy these years, rev -- you've got about two years to go before the realization you describe sets in.
  • Huntsman
    •
    3 years ago
    The dork phase of fatherhood is a tough one. But if the relationship has been solid otherwise, the next phase is good again. The reason turning 18 and moving out was invented was so the kids figure out that dad and mom aren’t quite as awful and clueless as they thought. But again, much of that depends on pre-dork days. So glad you intend to make the best of them. There will be stray pussy to be had down the road so it can wait a bit now.
  • whodey
    •
    3 years ago
    It's better to spend so much time with them that they see you as a dork than to have them hate you for not spending enough time with them.
  • Jascoi
    •
    3 years ago
    rhb... good for you to retire while your kids are still at that very fun age.
  • Mate27
    •
    3 years ago
    Congrats you hornibastard! In thinking of doing the same, but I’m younger than you and have another lifetime ahead of me to sponsor future adventures and shenanigans. I too would spend the time in debauchery, and that can be way more expensive. I’d have to double my net worth, soooo… good luck! Bet you will tell us how you’re doing.
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    3 years ago
    Congratulations!
  • yankeez4lif
    •
    3 years ago
    A hornibastard reverend with his priorities in order. No matter what happens you're already winning. Congrats and all the best!
  • CJKent_band
    •
    3 years ago
    @reverendhornibastard

    God for you, enjoy building a solid relationship with your kids.

    My brother and I always looked at my dad as our guide, our family Führer, our leader, and he always reminded us that he had to earn our respect and that we all have to respect and honor our mother.

    The use of "Führer" remains common in German and is used in numerous compound words such as Bergführer (mountain guide)

    However because of its strong association with Hitler and the Nazi Party, the isolated word itself usually has negative connotations.

    In any case if you build a good relationship with your kids and behave like a good person a responsible and respectable human being, they will not have any reason to feel embarrassed by you, but will feel proud and happy to be with you.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    Reverend. Go celebrate that lovely family you have with your mail-order bride by fucking a hooker.
  • gSteph
    •
    3 years ago
    Ah, gee, 2Icee, another unnecessary negative.

    Enjoy your time and family Rev, life is good.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    3 years ago
    Congrats!
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    He's an obnoxious bloviating moron who basically claims to love his mail order bride kids and hookers jn every one of his threads
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    3 years ago
    Icee said "He's an obnoxious bloviating moron..."

    Up to that point, I assumed you were looking into a mirror.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    Congrats on having that flexibility - today often times both parents can't afford to not work and still be able to provide the quality of life they want for their families
  • theeastcoast757
    •
    3 years ago
    This is cute
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