How Much Have You Spent (Wasted)?

Even at $250k, it's only $5k/year, or $400/month. Many of us spend much more than that on just one visit, and go multiple times per week.

Yes...I acknowledge that you didn't go every week for 50 years, but it doesn't seem like an unreasonable amount to do what you enjoy.

Sure, you could have invested that amount over a period of time and ended up with significantly more than that, but what good is money, if it just sits in an investment/bank account?

Some people spend on items, while others spend on experiences. if you didn't spend $250k on your sexual escapades, you likely would have spent it on something else, so the money would have been gone anyway.

Thinking about what I could have alternatively done with my clubbing funds usually sends me into a tailspin of regret, but not enough so to stop me from continuing to engage in the activity.

That's a pretty large sum but if you compare this to the cost of a marriage, or two or three marriages, it might be a bargain (and more fun).

I hate thinking about this but if I had to take my best guess, the last 4 or 5 years of mongering or so has probably costed me around that of a really expensive truck probably north of 50k, less than 100k. So other than that ONE truck purchase I'm great with money, super cheap dude. I have to be to make that work.

I really don’t want to think about it too much

I am 40+ years of clubbing so I’m pretty sure I’ve topped a quarter of a million. But as was pointed out that’s “only” $500 to $600 per month. Lots of people easily spend that on clothes, an endless string of new cars, country club memberships, or travel.

I guess it only seems “wasteful” to outsiders who don’t understand the fun and thrill of it.

My spending hasn’t been consistent though. Over the years I had $5000 splurge months followed by no clubbing for a period of time

Not as much as my 27 year marriage cost me. So I'm ahead of the game now.

Never do the math! I think of all the countless hours I spent on this hobby, I could have made new friends or networked my way to my own business. Instead I chose to spend my time at differing clubs knowing I am going to leave with nothing but a memory with nothing else to show for my time. The thing is, o never had a penchant for doing great things, and neither do 99.9% of the people out there. Those same 99.9% are spending their time not clubbing, but Probably watching tv, smoking pot, playing on their phone, reading, taking vacations, etc.

Those same 99.9% have likely saved some of their time (and money) investing in good positive relationships w/family and friends, too. They have also needed a break from their positive relationships to spend it on their vices so they can come back feeling refreshed to re-engage. Clubbing is just taking a break, and as expensive as it can be it can also be well spent time and money to rejuvenate yourself to come back to your productive ways.

Anyway, we justify our lives no matter what we do, if it was knitting or arts and crafts, maybe golf. None of what most people do matter other than to occupy their time. Life in many ways is all about choice and the options you get to pick from. Enjoy any option you take.

I estimate somewhere between a quarter to a half a million. But, if I had that money sitting in a bank account somewhere, I can't think of anything I'd want to buy with it. I've probably got more than I need for retirement.

I've spent a fair amount on vacations too. You don't hear that, money spent on vacations being a "waste". But it's the same essentially, spending on a simple experience, rather than on real estate or a durable good. I'd rather spend five grand on lap dances than on a vacation. I think the difference is the attitude that there's something greasy with any sort of sex that isn't Ward doing June through the slit in his pajamas. And, of course, that shame that the women we want to be with don't actually want to be with us.

I started after a divorce in 1997, and I’m frugal by nature so I track expenses. The first 4 years were around $4-5K per year, then I discovered FS clubs (starting with the long-gone Hawaii Theater) and then it climbed to $9-12K per year for 18-19 years. A couple years got into the $20K range due to OTC & side muff FWB with retired regulars. So like $220K total invested. I was working & making a lot for most of that time, so not pathological spending and it did not detract from other interests & travel. I have no regrets, it has enriched my life experience greatly.

how much was spent (wasted) on your fave vinos? weed? concerts? gambling? and so on?

it's pointless to think about all this as what's done is done. thinking too deeply on this subject can lead something drastic like bashing your head repeatedly against a massive steel door. if the spending wound up leading to many happy outcomes then the money imho was more than well spent. and the stories that you can tell for days to those who wished to be entertained by such is fucking priceless.

Hey we all blow money on something we shouldn’t or something we don’t need, unless you’re an accountant. I’ve known several accountants over the year and they have to be the tightest people I’ve ever met. I even knew one that would pack his own food on business trips and pocket his per diem money.

^ he was probably saving that per diem money for a future strip club visit, redirecting the funds into a special vice bank account.

A buddy of mine, after drinking too much last week apologized to me for giving me shit for spending thousands on strip clubs. He's been giving me shit for years so I had to ask why. He admitted that he lost 250k sports betting over the past 3 years, fucked up his life and realized that he could have gotten a lof of lap dances for that sum. Spending money on doing things is what I do, so if it wasn't strip clubs it would be sports betting or playing pebble beach or playing Hold em in vegas etc.

I don’t ever waste my energy worrying about what I’ve done, I’m more focused on what I’m going to do going forward.

Like any habit, or addiction, the only question is whether your actions are having a negative affect on your life. If you can easily afford it, and your actions aren’t harming those close to you, it’s not a problem.

Twenty Five reminded me that I have a similar though more restrictive rule and that is that I never go back in my life and criticize myself for all the stupid shit I have done. Realistically if I started today, the fact I am 65 means I probably don't have enough time left on earth to go over all of it anyway.

I don’t want to think about it, but I estimate that at least 90% was money well spent and that is what matters to me.

There’s an old joke with punchline “ I spent thousands on whisky and loose women. I wasted the rest”.

The quote you’re referring to is from W. C. Fields and goes like this “ I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”

Ha “funontheside”, I’ve been known to cut expenses the same way Shailyn reported for that accountant just to justify how I’m able to make my club visits. Since I don’t have any debt, drive well maintained older vehicles, and live way below my means I can easily justify my $10k annual entertainment in this hobby by being frugal in other ways. Could I not spend the $10k each year and upgrade my vehicles? Yes, but to me that’s such a waste of money throwing it away on a car that depreciates in value. To each their own.

Don't want to do the math but since I've been clubbing off and on for about a quarter century with about a decade or more of heavy (for me) clubbing I imagine it is probably getting close to six figures spent in total. Very little of that was "wasted" since I either enjoyed or learned from most transactions. The only money I would consider wasted would be the rare occasions that I went to a regular club, paid the cover and found out there was nobody there I wanted to spend money on so I quickly left. Even then the time I wasted going to the club was a bigger loss than the cover charge.

Spent 120k. Wasted ... quite a lot of it actually. But you can't take it with you.

^^^ exactly, there are no pockets in shrouds.

I'm solidly in the "I'd rather not think about it."

That doesn't mean I regret it (mostly...), but I'd still rather not think about it.

It’s all wasted since you can’t take it with you and you have no idea when you’ll drop dead.

And 150k is mild. Buy a boat, and you’re going to pay 50, 80, 100k and then sink 20% in every year after. You’ll get to 150 quick. And the boat will not suck you off. Build a vacation house? Shit you can’t get a shack for 150k, and there are no delectable titties on a house.

Tits and ass on hot young sluts is the best goddamned thing in the universe, and 150k over a lifetime is a bargain.

I consider the money I spent on drugs and cigarettes back in the day to be a much bigger waste of money than going to clubs.

There is no need to regret your past if you enjoy the present and are optimistic about the future

Upwards of 20k. Don't regret a penny of it.

I consider my clubbing experience to be priceless. It was an excellent learning experience. I was able to meet all kinds of women having different personalities, different views, different life experiences, and different abilities. It helped me grow from having my little head do the thinking for my big head and helped me feel comfortable around a naked smoke show because in the real world I would be invisible to her. The money I spent (never kept a record of the amount) wasn't a waste but rather an investment which still pays dividends today.

Let's rephrase this question b/c the context of how many years is important. On average, over the past few years (or even past 5-10 years for those in the game long enough), how much do you spend on this hobby per year*

i've spent a lot of money in my life but these girls... oh man... so worth it.

I see many discussions where the OP posts about some topic or issue, gets a lot of good feedback, but never replies back. I wonder if reverendhornibastard will reply and tell us whether the feedback here might have changed his opinion about his money being "wasted".

I'm impressed that he covered 6 continents. I'm "only" at 5 but will get Down Under at some point. In fact that sounds like another goal to add to the list. I've spent twice the amount he has in half the time, and like several others have no regrets. Not only the women and the physical aspect, but the social aspect, the travel, the new cities and cultures and languages, and the occasional company of like-minded fellow punters, have enriched my life.

I'm not even going to attempt to add up what I've spent mongering over my lifetime. Too many variables and I tend to be wildly inconsistent with soliciting "desploogination services" (lol). Sometimes I'll go months or even a year without visiting a club, sometimes I end up traveling often and doing a lot in a short period. So I have no idea how I'd begin to unpack this number, but it's high, very high.

I will note this: I just turned 49 and I feel like I'm entering my prime mongering years, given I've finally got the funds to sustain this habit. What's really baking my noodle with this thread is: what am I going to spend between now and when I finally retire from the hobby?

I could cut my losses right now, and just give it up. And like you RHB, I could probably save hundreds of thousands, or even upwards of a quarter mil. I could retire earlier, or maybe even afford a luxury like a boat if I were to quit mongering.

But why would I do that? I'd definitely rather have a lifetime of memories (and an inexhaustible spank bank - that's part of the value prop of desploogination too). This shit is just too much fun, and I don't think this money is wasted at all.

Spent a lot. Wasted none.

@ancientluker & @londonguy - Admittedly shrouds are not made with pockets, but you CAN take it with you. I’ve got friends who have invested in caskets with luggage racks (made for people who want to take it with them)!

@wld4tatas - I do feel like the money was wasted (but I haven’t stopped l).

I covered 6 continents because my career caused me to live in 5 countries on 3 continents and to travel very frequently damn near everywhere else. Since I mostly traveled alone, there were LOTS of opportunities to go out and find trouble.

I will admit that I’m slowing down now. Some people say it’s because with age comes wisdom.

The truth is so much simpler.

I get tired more easily than I used to.

At some point numbers become too abstract to have meaning. I passed that point three decades and six continents ago.

Rather than estimate a number I think the best expression for contextual understanding is the always useful phrase “Enough to buy a small country”.

Still going and spending at an exponentially increasing rate. Time is fleeting.