Last Saturday Night
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Amanda came over for dinner on Saturday night. We had a perfectly normal, dull suburban evening. We ate dinner. Then we all watched a movie (BFG – the Big Friendly Giant) with our twins.
Amanda stayed for about another hour and a half after the kids went to bed. She and Mrs. Hornibastard were sipping on some wine and engaging in what was mostly girl talk. I wasn’t interested in participating in that conversation and just sat by, responding to emails on my phone.
Not long before she went home, Amanda suddenly blurted, “so, the plan was that by this time tonight, with the kids asleep in their beds, we would all three be having wild sex, is that right?”
You could tell the wine was talking.
Mrs. Hornibastard replied for us, “Yes, that was not exactly a plan … ” Then she got stuck with a loss of words to express herself so I interjected, “It wasn’t a plan, but it was a possibility we were open to.”
Amanda laughed nervously and said she was open to it too but admitted to feeling shy and awkward about it. “How exactly do we transition from watching a movie like BFG with the kids to suddenly stripping naked and humping each other? I’ve never done anything remotely like this.”
“Good point!” I said. “I’ve been to lots of dinner parties and I don’t recall dinner EVER being followed up with an impromptu orgy among people who have never even seen each other naked before. It’s certainly not the after-dinner activity Martha Stewart usually recommends.”
“How did you end up fucking so many of my little big sister’s friends when you lived in Jakarta?” Amanda asked me. (“Little big sister” is Amanda’s term of endearment for Anisa.)
I summed it up this way, “Our backyard swimming pool offered complete privacy from neighbors. There was plenty of alcohol, nudity and sun lotion that needed to be applied. One thing led to another and pretty soon sex was unavoidable. Eventually, at least with repeat guests, sex was just expected.”
“Sometimes,” Mrs. Hornibastard added, “I got the party started by fucking him by the pool in view of our guests.”
“OK, I can understand that. Do you have plans to put in a pool?” Amanda asked.
A little bit of wine came out of her nose as Mrs. Hornibastard laughed at that comment.
“I’ve always wanted to put in a pool but Anisa is against the idea,” I remarked.
Then there was a long, awkward silence.
Amanda finally broke the silence. “I’m going to need some liquor, plus some kind of game or activity as a sort of kindling, at least for my first time – something to get the ball rolling.”
“We can make margaritas!” Anisa exclaimed enthusiastically, adding, “We can all play strip minum.”
“What in the world is strip minum?” Amanda asked.
“Minum is an Indonesian card game, it is a lot like Go Fish,” I explained. It’s very simple and mostly played by children, but Anisa added the elements of betting your clothes and, when you run out of clothes, betting sexual services.”
Amanda thought it over for a moment and then said, “You supply the margaritas. Next week I will bring the kindling.”
Mrs. Hornibastard desperately wanted to know what Amanda had in mind but she refused to say.
After Amanda had already left, I remembered that we will be out town the next two weekends. So there won’t be any opportunities to party with Amanda for a while.
Amanda stayed for about another hour and a half after the kids went to bed. She and Mrs. Hornibastard were sipping on some wine and engaging in what was mostly girl talk. I wasn’t interested in participating in that conversation and just sat by, responding to emails on my phone.
Not long before she went home, Amanda suddenly blurted, “so, the plan was that by this time tonight, with the kids asleep in their beds, we would all three be having wild sex, is that right?”
You could tell the wine was talking.
Mrs. Hornibastard replied for us, “Yes, that was not exactly a plan … ” Then she got stuck with a loss of words to express herself so I interjected, “It wasn’t a plan, but it was a possibility we were open to.”
Amanda laughed nervously and said she was open to it too but admitted to feeling shy and awkward about it. “How exactly do we transition from watching a movie like BFG with the kids to suddenly stripping naked and humping each other? I’ve never done anything remotely like this.”
“Good point!” I said. “I’ve been to lots of dinner parties and I don’t recall dinner EVER being followed up with an impromptu orgy among people who have never even seen each other naked before. It’s certainly not the after-dinner activity Martha Stewart usually recommends.”
“How did you end up fucking so many of my little big sister’s friends when you lived in Jakarta?” Amanda asked me. (“Little big sister” is Amanda’s term of endearment for Anisa.)
I summed it up this way, “Our backyard swimming pool offered complete privacy from neighbors. There was plenty of alcohol, nudity and sun lotion that needed to be applied. One thing led to another and pretty soon sex was unavoidable. Eventually, at least with repeat guests, sex was just expected.”
“Sometimes,” Mrs. Hornibastard added, “I got the party started by fucking him by the pool in view of our guests.”
“OK, I can understand that. Do you have plans to put in a pool?” Amanda asked.
A little bit of wine came out of her nose as Mrs. Hornibastard laughed at that comment.
“I’ve always wanted to put in a pool but Anisa is against the idea,” I remarked.
Then there was a long, awkward silence.
Amanda finally broke the silence. “I’m going to need some liquor, plus some kind of game or activity as a sort of kindling, at least for my first time – something to get the ball rolling.”
“We can make margaritas!” Anisa exclaimed enthusiastically, adding, “We can all play strip minum.”
“What in the world is strip minum?” Amanda asked.
“Minum is an Indonesian card game, it is a lot like Go Fish,” I explained. It’s very simple and mostly played by children, but Anisa added the elements of betting your clothes and, when you run out of clothes, betting sexual services.”
Amanda thought it over for a moment and then said, “You supply the margaritas. Next week I will bring the kindling.”
Mrs. Hornibastard desperately wanted to know what Amanda had in mind but she refused to say.
After Amanda had already left, I remembered that we will be out town the next two weekends. So there won’t be any opportunities to party with Amanda for a while.
3 comments
Like a said before, I have the impression that you are playing with fire and explosives, because Amanda in my opinion is one bat shit crazy woman.
Be careful out there.
I was a lot more suspicious of Amanda before.
Now, not so much.
But if things do get weird, I know Mrs. Hornibastard will protect me.
Indonesian women are usually little but they are tough and determined.
It would be altogether different if any of this was going on behind Mrs. Hornibastard’s back. I’ve seen Mrs. Hornibastard wielding a machete to hack spices out of the vegetation behind her girlhood home.
I got her message loud and clear!