tuscl

I Can Now Relate to Hyman Roth

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
A few weeks ago, I didn’t know I had a heath problem. I was enjoying life, my kids and traveling to whittle down my bucket list.

Then my doctor told me I had prostate cancer.

I was surprised. I had no symptoms. I could still pee like a horse. l spent no time at the urinal squeezing our a few drops at a time.

Things have changed.

Two weeks into radiation therapy, the side effects I was warned about are, one by one, becoming part of my daily life.

I now pee a few drops at a time, occasionally have bloody urine and I can relate to Hyman Roth’s statement, “I'd give four million just to be able to take a piss without it hurting.”

The good news, my doctors caught it early. According to them, I will live to debase myself again for another decade or more after my radiation therapy is completed.

If you’re getting old, get yourself checked.

21 comments

  • FLAP3000
    2 years ago
    “This is the business we have chosen! I didn’t ask who gave the orders!”
  • Cashman1234
    2 years ago
    I wish you the best Reverend. It’s one of those treatable cancers if caught early. I hope you feel better soon.
  • Studme53
    2 years ago
    Nice Godfather 2 reference. I hear the little grunts Hyman would make at the end of each sentence.
    Good luck with your treatment. A friend just went thru it and he said the treatments were tough and left exhausted, but he got thru it and is back to his old self, working out, jogging, etc.
    Hang in there!
  • jmiddle30234
    2 years ago
    How did they catch it psa test?
  • twentyfive
    2 years ago
    Good luck and get well Godspeed to you Rev
    I won’t ask how they’re hanging
  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    Keep a good attitude, recover quickly and live a long, happy, healthy lofe.
  • loper
    2 years ago
    When you say, get yourself tested, what does that involve. My now-retired Dr. used to stick his finger up my ass and check if everything seemed copasetic. My new female Dr. doesn't do that -- says it's not necessary. I felt like saying, stick your finger up my ass, dammit!
  • Hank Moody
    2 years ago
    Good to hear from you, Rev, under any circumstances. Your writing and humor and yarn spinning have been missed. PC is apparently a ‘when’ not an ‘if’ and because of when you caught it, you have every reason to be optimistic. Good reminder that it’s been a year since my last physical and test and I need to schedule. Best wishes and keep us posted. (You still owe us an epilogue on the crazy hot crazy neighbor story.)
  • Jimmybigtits
    2 years ago
    Rev I'm new here but I wish you a speedy recovery.
  • rockie
    2 years ago
    rhb: Wishing you long and pain free flow in the shortest time frame possible!
  • shadowcat
    2 years ago
    Sounds like they caught it in time. Hang in there.
  • Goodclubrep
    2 years ago
    Loper, you made me lol! I humbley suggest a change in doctors.
  • whodey
    2 years ago
    God speed on a quick and complete recovery. I'm glad they caught it early.

    I have known too many "healthy" people that hadn't seen a doctor in a decade or more because they were "fine" that finally went to a doctor when they started having some type of symptoms. For some of them it was too late by that point.
  • Warrior15
    2 years ago
    Good luck sir. Glad to hear they caught it early. A buddy of mine recently got the same news. But his has progressed considerably so he's going to have to go thru some pretty aggressive treatments. We have to enjoy our time on this Earth.
  • reverendhornibastard
    2 years ago
    First, thank you very much for your kind words and encouragement. You have no idea what this means to me, coming from a gaggle of like-minded perverts and degenerates.

    Fingers up the ass to check your prostate are a thing of the past. My condition was caught with a blood test.

    I had no symptoms. Usually there are no symptoms in the early phases of prostate cancer. If you wait until you have symptoms, you’re taking a big health risk.

    I haven’t posted much for a long while now. I’ve been busy. I retired from retirement and once again have more work than I know what to do with.

    Later today I’m interviewing for more attorneys.

    @Jimmy McNulty - I never finished the Amanda story because nothing ever happened. Her employer promoted her and made her the manager of one of their other offices. It is still in Houston but it’s over 50 miles from where she was living (around the corner and down the street from me).

    So she wisely sold her home and moved about 50 miles closer to her new office.

    It’s been almost 20 minutes since I tried to pee.

    I’m gonna try again now.
  • Hank Moody
    2 years ago
    Ah, I was hoping for a ‘happy ending’ to the Amanda story. Good to hear you’re in good spirits. Perversion soon to follow.
  • FishHawk
    2 years ago
    Best of luck on a speedy recovery, Rev.
  • CJKent_band
    2 years ago
    Reverend

    I hope you are are well and safe

    Please take a look at this book:

    https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ris…

    overview:

    “In 1973, we urologists had prostate cancer about right, no screening, no radiation, and no radical surgery.

    All cancers discovered were assumed to be metastatic from the get-go.

    If any treatment was necessary, it was systemic hormone deprivation.

    But, ten years later (1983 - 1987) radical surgery was revived without new evidence; ultrasound probes were miniaturized to fit in the rectum; and the PSA blood test was described as capable of finding new cancers but as lacking the specificity required for screening.

    The whole world screened anyway

    Money poured into U.S. hospitals and faculty practice plans.”

    In any case take good care of yourself and remember “you are what you eat”

    “Let food be thy medicine, and let medicine be thy food.” ~ Hippocrates
  • san_jose_guy
    2 years ago
    We are all wishing the best for you reverend.

    SJG

    Figueroa
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-scKQr9…

    Jane - School of Rock
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdWq4w8D…
  • gSteph
    2 years ago
    Sorry to hear of your situation, Rev.
    Best of luck as you go through this journey.

    I've been through this too, though on a different path; I chose surgery.
    Know that recovery happens.
  • Muddy
    2 years ago
    Get better Rev
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