Another Broken Woman on the Periphery of My Life

avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
First, let me make something clear. I didn’t have anything to do with the hardships the woman in this story has undergone. Moreover, I can’t help her. I’d like to, but even if I had the time and energy to help her, her problems run far deeper than anything I can deal with.

I first met Amanda (not her real name) a few weeks ago. I named her “Amanda” in this story because upon meeting her I thought she bore more than a passing resemblance to Amanda Kloots. In fact, upon first meeting her it immediately occurred to me that I’d really enjoy “meating” her.

But I’m definitely not going to “meat” her. Amanda has more than enough troubles and sorrow in her life already. I don’t plan to add to them. Even if she were not such a troubled young woman, I am not so stupid as to canoodle a woman who not only knows where I live, but who can walk from her front door to mine in less time than it takes to boil an egg!

I had been dimly aware that an attractive, young blonde lived in the vicinity. I’d seen her out jogging with her dog, but I had never really given Amanda a second thought until she cornered me at the neighborhood mailbox depot a few weeks ago.

Amanda started up a conversation that was lengthy and weirdly personal for an introductory sidewalk chat with a stranger.

But Amanda was determined to tell me her recent life’s story. She had recently moved to the Houston area from Minneapolis. She works as a financial advisor for a major investment banking group, and she was recently divorced.

Then things took an even gloomier turn and tears began to well up in her pretty blue eyes as she elaborated how she and her ex-husband were trying to have a baby when she caught him cheating with a waitress he met at iHop.

As if that wasn’t enough, she later had to get a restraining order against her ex-husband because he had been physically abusive toward her during their marriage and had become threatening during their recent divorce proceedings.

Needless to say, I felt sorry for her. Amanda seems like a nice lady, but lonely and very emotionally needy.

Then I didn’t see or speak to Amanda for a while. But yesterday evening I decided to go for a bike ride through the nature preserve that borders our neighborhood. Deep in the forest I saw a woman sitting alone on a bench. She was rocking back and forth with her arms crossed. She looked like she might be in pain.

I didn’t recognize the woman as Amanda.

I stopped to see what was wrong. Still astride my mountain bike I called out from a distance of about 10 yards, asking if everything was alright.

Amanda looked up and turned toward me. Her face was red and wet. She had obviously been crying.

She leapt to her feet and ran towards me. Giving me a big, teary hug, Amanda almost knocked me off my bike. I dismounted and stood there in the forest with Amanda sobbing and clinging to me. Under the circumstances, I felt it necessary to embrace her as a show of support but was careful not to signal any amorous interest.

She eventually calmed down and asked me why her life was “turning to shit” (as if I would have any insight into that question).

She described no new calamities, so I assumed there were none. Even if she had new tales of woe, I didn’t really want to hear them. I don’t want to appear cold-hearted, but she has more and deeper problems than I know how to deal with.

Plus, she looks a lot like Amanda Kloots.
https://tuscl.net/photo/5755

If I tried to be supportive of a 70-something year old woman with osteoporosis and sagging, withered tits who was down on her luck, I suspect Mrs. Hornibastard would think highly of me.

But probably not in this case.

26 comments

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avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
4 years ago
I can only assume that you posted this because you found her attractive and are tempted to "emotionally support" her horizontally, bent forward over the bed and in any number of other positions.

Remember the 3 rules for fucking around when married:

1. Don't shit where you eat.
2. Don't dip your pen in company ink.
3. Not in my back yard.

Those rules were intended to help avoid damaging entanglements with head cases just like this one. What do you think happens if you fuck around with her and then eventually decide to end it?
avatar for BabyDoc
BabyDoc
4 years ago
@reverendhornibastard “She eventually calmed down and asked me why her life was “turning to shit””

LoL. If I only had a dollar for every time…

I have the natural ability to attract damaged strays. I’ve learned to just say “NO!” but even so my plate always seems to be full.

I enjoy your stories…
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
4 years ago
Ex-husband bangin an iHop waitress? Was his name Tiger Woods?
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
@Rick & @BabyDoc,

Yes, Amanda is cute and she could be very tempting (and probably easy in her current state of emotional vulnerability). But even a dastardly, serial cheater like me is not THAT cruel. I’m definitely keeping my pants zipped up when Amanda is around.

Even if she was not so emotionally needy, the mere fact that she lives I such close proximity to my home, my wife and kids makes her way, way off limits.

I haven’t canoodled a neighbor since I was young, single and free to canoodle anyone I wanted.

Even back then, canoodling a neighbor proved to be a terrible idea.
avatar for BabyDoc
BabyDoc
4 years ago
I would categorize “canoodling a neighbor” into the “this is probably a bad idea” box.

“Emotionally needy”? Now that is just crazy stupid. lol
avatar for Icey
Icey
4 years ago
Tell us about what ita like to marry an Indonesian hooker
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
Good advice, BabyDoc, but sometimes they’re really NOT emotionally needy until AFTER you stop gluing them to the bedsheets, coffee table or the kitchen floor and start using your glue gun on someone else.
avatar for datinman
datinman
4 years ago
My judgement is biased by past experiences. Your description of how she latched on to you with her life details from the get go sounds like drama queen at best with crazy bitch running a hot second. From my experience, offering even minimal comfort to a crazy bitch is like feeding a stray cat. You think you're being nice, but now you own it.
avatar for CJKent (Banned)
CJKent (Banned)
4 years ago
In my humble opinion, “Birds of a feather flock together” and the old Southern adage “There’s a lid for every pot,” appear to apply to the relationship and romance between the two people in this dramatic romance novel...
avatar for BabyDoc
BabyDoc
4 years ago
"sometimes they’re really NOT emotionally needy until AFTER..."


You ain't lying
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
4 years ago
Reverend - may I ask if you were in your church clothes? Wearing your collar when you first encountered this troubled young beauty at the mailbox?

Troubled souls are likely to open up when they see a man of the cloth.

She obviously needs help - and the help from a higher power can offer strength beyond what humans might understand.

Have you asked her to come to confession? It can be cathartic - and cleansing - even if it leaves a little goo in the hair...
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
@CJKent - I agree. After listening her pour her heart out to a stranger and then hearing that her ex used to beat her and that he was fucking around with an iHop waitress while he and Amanda were trying to have a baby, it certainly occurred to me that Amanda was adding to her own misery by consistently trying to latch on to any guy who happens to be nearby when she is feeling glum.

Somebody (not me) needs to talk some sense into this woman.

It strikes me as peculiar that a woman so attractive, educated (MBA in finance) and accomplished (investment banking advisor) should be so emotionally fucked up.

I bet she was raised in a dysfunctional home.
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
4 years ago
I can empathize with the reverend. There's something about me that causes people to open up more them I like them to. I can only hope to be as stalwart as he has, if I ever get a neighbor like Amanda.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
@Cashman1234

I don’t recall what I was wearing. Probably gym clothes. I often just ride my bicycle to the mailboxes to collect whatever is in there.

Confession would be interesting.

If she has been a bad girl I would be tempted to have her drop her knickers so I could spank her with my face and then beat her with my swollen vital statistic.

Not a chance. I’m not that desperate or that stupid.

Maybe if she lived in Montana but not since she lives around the corner and about a block down the street.
avatar for Icey
Icey
4 years ago
Reverend. Tell us hiw you couldn't get laid in the US so you married an indonesian hooker and still cheat on her with other hookers 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
avatar for winex
winex
4 years ago
Reverend, ask Icey about the time he was naked in a room with five guys and a bag of weed.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
I already asked him.

Icey said he’s always willing to take it up the tailpipe and have five guys run a train on him as long as he gets a dime bag worth of weed out of the encounter.
avatar for winex
winex
4 years ago
Reverend, and in this case he was a man of his word.

Or should I say a bitch of her word?
avatar for Icey
Icey
4 years ago
Homophobic rants from a guy who married a third world hooker and an autistic incel ..... Wow. But write a bloviating post about the virtues of third world hookers coz you couldn't get laid ina country of 300 million 🤣🤣🤣
avatar for winex
winex
4 years ago
Getting gang banged is nothing to brag about.

Anything else is a result of your stoned delusions.

Going through life stoned and stupid is no way to live.
avatar for CJKent (Banned)
CJKent (Banned)
4 years ago
@rhb

You wrote, and I quote;

“It strikes me as peculiar that a woman so attractive, educated (MBA in finance) and accomplished (investment banking advisor) should be so emotionally fucked up.

I bet she was raised in a dysfunctional home.”

The “dysfunctional home” you allude to is our Oversexualized & Sexually Repressed American culture/society.

Even today our culture persists in sending women mixed messages about their sexuality. We want women to be objects of sexual desire, yet we expect them to be pure...

The reality is that, just like men, women have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual. Yet women are less likely to reveal their sexual desire. American society encourages women to push their sexual desires down.

I was referring to the fact that you seem to be attracted and attract this particular type of “so emotionally fucked up” women.

Your sister in law and this neighbor sound very similar to me. the influence of the American Oversexualized & Sexually Repressed culture is Big all over the word.

In any case I hope you are aware and follow the advice I heard from a Doctor specialist in these types. “If you feel some unexplainable attraction, run away from her, run as fast as you can, and stay away.”

Just be careful out there.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
CJKent - It’s really pretty simple. Like most guys. I am initially attracted to a woman by what I can see from across the room (pretty face, nice smile, attractive physique).

The personality aspects take a little longer to detect (integrity, intelligence, humor, amiable or their opposites). Like most guys, I have been initially attracted to women who were awesome in every way as well as to some who turned out to be badly dented cans, heinous, manipulative bitches or pitiful basket cases.

On the flip side, some of the women who have been attracted to me were brilliant, some were idiots, some were strong-willed, some were weak and insecure.

If you know how to ensure that you are only attracted to, and that you only attract, the best the feminine world had to offer, please share that wisdom with the rest of us.
avatar for CJKent (Banned)
CJKent (Banned)
4 years ago
@rhb

It is a matter of learn to survive by “readin' people's faces” and remember that “A man has to know his limitations.”

“Kenny Rogers - The Gambler”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7hx4gdlfam…

“Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep”

'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep"

“You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run”

“You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done”

Serenity to accept the things You cannot change...

Courage to change the things You can, and...

Wisdom to know the difference.

Of course, everything is easier said than done. Wanting something is easy. Saying something is easy. The challenge and the reward are in the doing.

At the very least, be careful out there.
avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
4 years ago
Some people (women included) can be very sneaky. Most of the women I’ve been turned out to be more or less the sort of woman I had pegged them to be when I first got to know them.

But a few turned out very differently, in both positive and negative directions. A few of them proved to be far more brilliant, tougher, independent and emotionally resilient than they seemed at first. I later wondered if they had initially hidden their strengths and talents out of a misguided sense that they might otherwise appear in feminine or scare me off.

Other women successfully hid their insecurities, indecisiveness, treachery and/or their true gold-digging intent until they thought I was “on the hook.”

Thankfully, it is rather difficult to conceal stupidity or ignorance. These traits are usually radiant and easily spotted.

On the other side of the coin, I have become a master of feigning sincerity, a skill that is enormously important when you’re trying to talk a woman out of her panties.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
4 years ago
What a dog!
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
4 years ago
"Periphery of my life", LOL. A liberal would say that he marginalized this women and her pain, because acknowledging his inherent privilege would have risked exposing his toxic masculinity and upsetting the life he has blatantly modeled after your standard white supremacist patriarchy framework.

I don't really believe this, but go ahead and tell me that's not how a liberal thinks. Oh wait, nevermind, she could not have been a victim because she is a white female, therefore it was a victimless crime. Nonetheless, all of RHB's wealth and belonging should be seized and auctioned off to pay for reparations to people who were never slaves.
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