Discussions by reverendhornibastard (page 21)

Might an intelligent, technologically capable species have previously arisen on and inhabited our planet? How certain can we be that we are the first intelligent species to arise on Earth? No one has found...

Have you ever asked yourself questions like “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose in life?” If you are like most people who become preoccupied with such questions you may have found...

Faced with dwindling attendance after widespread scandals over pedophile priests and the consequent cover-ups, the Holy Roman Catholic Church (NYSE ticker symbol “HRC”) has been forced to reassess its marketing strategies. After millennia of...

Most people have heard or read that humans share 99% of their chromosomes with chimpanzees. No one seems to understand this better than the folks on Madison Avenue. Advertisers constantly take advantage of our...

Nobody really knows for sure what happens when we die. I haven’t died yet but my lack of personal experience with death is not about to stop me from having a theory about it....

I traveled the world on business trips since before some of you mongers were born. All that world travel was not as glamorous as some people think. There was lots of jet lag, food...

Mrs. Hornibastard #2 was the very prim and proper, conservative WASP type. Why she ever agreed to marry an incorrigible reprobate like me is a mystery. She must have been desperate. But I thought...

I know you think you exist but if you will give me your attention for a few minutes, I will persuade you that your existence isn’t quite what you always thought it was.     This won’t...

Some people believe some pretty weird and outrageous shit. Not you and me, of course, but SOME people do. But you and I both know some of these people who believe truly weird shit. Some believe the...

Exoplanets are being discovered with increasing frequency. To date, roughly 4,000 exoplanets have been discovered and are considered “confirmed.” Approximately another 3,000 are considered “possible detections” awaiting further data for confirmation. https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/faq/6/how-many-exoplanets-are-there/ Complex, chiral organic...

Evolution provided us with a lot more than a bipedal gait, opposable thumbs and dentition appropriate for an omnivorous diet. It also provided us with a behavioral repertoire that aided our survival during the...

What a name! Zainuddin was the first driver assigned to drive me around when I was working in Indonesia. Most drivers are poorly educated people. When they’re not behind the wheel driving you...

I recall as a youth watching a debate between two men, one a pro-communist and the other a pro-capitalist. The pro-communist was a much better debater. It was painful to watch him running circles...

I awoke from a dream of my dad (now long deceased). He parked his car at the curb, rolled down the driver’s window, put the car in neutral and walked away. There was...

I used to think “squirters” were just an urban legend. I had canoodled women all over the world as thoroughly and vigorously as I knew how but I had never made a woman “squirt!” At...

If you’ve ever had a water-saving toilet you know what a debacle they can be. Water-saving toilets might be acceptable in the homes of those malnourished, gluten-avoiding, vegans of indeterminate gender who litter the...

I had a very odd dream. I was standing at a large window on a very high floor of an enormous building. I don’t know what floor I was on but it was very...

n a few days I will go under the knife for what is referred to as a “minor medical procedure.” Some comedian, I can’t remember who, said a medical procedure is only minor when...

A few weeks ago while we were In far West Texas, we ate dinner at Jett’s Grill in Marfa’s Hotel Paisano. They serve up fantastic food and great margaritas. If you’re within 70...

It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about Black, Latino, Aryan or Polish Pride, any kind of racial pride is a terrible, corrosive idea. Racial pride is idiotic and a gateway to racism. None...

Most of us are stuck behind the walls of our own, private prisons. Some of us are stuck with physical limitations that we were powerless to avoid and that can’t be fixed. Some of...

I had to attend Catholic school from kindergarten through the eight grade. It was my punishment for foolishly allowing myself to be born into a Catholic family. Despite the assortment of mixed nuts...

A few years ago the security department at my company decreed that I had to stay at the Four Seasons Hotel while I was in Jakarta on business. The Four Seasons was regarded as...

Medical advice often falls on deaf ears. Most people hate listening to advice in general. They are particularly resistant to unsolicited health warnings delivered by people they don’t know, don’t trust and can’t relate to....

This is a common mistake. I’ve made it repeatedly. For most men it’s almost a reflex. “Nobody messes with my woman (or women)!” The average guy’s attitude is, “she remains mine until I say otherwise!”...

I can’t remember who it was, but someone said the best test of a man’s character is to shower him with good fortune. I was tested in this way. I flunked the...

The company’s security department always counseled that if we were ever confronted by muggers, we should cooperatively hand over our wallets, watches and cellphones. “NEVER put up a fight,” we were told. “It’s not...

I met Putri (pronounced “Pooh-tree”) in 1996. She was standing alone late at night in front of a disreputable bar in an even more disreputable part of Jakarta. Putri looked out of place. She...

I don’t consider myself an exceptional male specimen. I am not exceptionally tall. I am not unusually handsome. I’m certainly not memorably suave, debonair or romantic. My pecker is, so...

I know of four instances where I was nearly killed or at least where I could have been badly injured. I wonder how many other close calls I’ve experienced without ever realizing it. 1....

I just completed another vacation with Mrs. Hornibastard #3 and our two low center of gravity mooches with deplorable personal hygiene habits. This time we stayed in the USA so there was precious little...

My twins have each owned their own iPads since they were 4 years old. It will come as no surprise to you that they have each become adept at using their iPads over the...

I don’t consider myself terribly picky about women, but I do have standards. Some qualities (or lack thereof) can absolutely kill my budding interest in an otherwise attractive woman. STUPIDITY: I don’t...

I have known many, many poor people. After 15 years living in developing and third world countries (Indonesia and Angola) and 20+ years traveling frequently to many other destinations that our deeply sensitive leader,...

I’m rich. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and all of the rich and famous people you’ve ever heard of wouldn’t consider me rich. Compared to them, I’m very poor. But viewed from the perspective of...

When my twins were still in strollers and we were living in Singapore, if we were out shopping or just out for a walk on Orchard Road, Mrs. Hornibastard #3 often took our daughter...

Finally! It’s here! I found it! The Final Solution! (“Die Ende Lösung”) It’s a sure-fire way of eliminating IcedPeePee once and for all! Fast results guaranteed or your money back! Also eliminates most of the other annoying, crawling,...

Reverend Hornibastard and his tribe are currently wandering in the deserts of far West Texas. Yesterday the irrepressible Reverend Hornibastard collected on the bet he placed with his gullible kids that he would take...

IcedPeePee has demonstrated that his is a very special kind of stupid. Consider the following: EXHIBIT A: His profound lack of appreciation that the world and the people in it are far more complex than...

I found the on-ramp to the Highway to Hell when I was still in my 20s. Back then I was still poor and still innocent (at least innocent compared to the jaded, been everywhere,...

I can only speak confidently for myself on the issue of why people pay for sex when they can get it for free, but let me take a crack at this. 1. Some people...

A Top Ten List 1. Most Canoodlings in a 24 Hour Period: On our first night together I nailed the woman who eventually became Mrs. Hornibastard #3 eight times. I wonder, does it count as...

Posts on this august discussion board by a moronic, juvenile malcontent who believes that looking like you belong in prison constitutes high fashion persuaded me that ANYBODY can qualify to be a fashion advisor....

I can’t think of anything more fascinating than nothing. So I’ve been thinking about nothing a lot lately. If you think the contemplation of nothing is just an empty headed waste of time, you’re...

Some who have known me for a long time say that I am “a self made man.” They mean it as a compliment. They believe this about me because I grew up poor and...

Mrs. Hornibastard #3 and I have been together quite a while. We have been very happy in our relationship. Much happier than anyone would have predicted we would be. On paper, we make an improbable...

Most people (both men and women) spend their lives wondering about “the one that got away.” I’m among those who still thinks about and pines for “the one that got away.” Her name was “Sandy.”...

Every day I spend some quality “me time” getting hard in my man cave. It’s a habit I have maintained since I was in my teens. So far, my daily pleasure of getting hard...