Turn Offs
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I don’t consider myself terribly picky about women, but I do have standards.
Some qualities (or lack thereof) can absolutely kill my budding interest in an otherwise attractive woman.
STUPIDITY: I don’t care how sexy a girl is, if I can’t engage in conversation with her unless it’s about drugs, rappers or tattoos, I can’t be bothered to unzip my trousers. The most beautiful woman I ever dated (she was Victoria Secret model quality) was so dull and inarticulate, that we were still working on our salad at dinner when I decided I couldn’t wait to get her back home (to HER place so I could drop her off and forget about her).
FAKE BOOBS: I’m not a boob-guy. Sure, I like titties, but they don’t have to be enormous. Regardless of their size, I insist on titties being authentic and to be in full compliance with the Federal Code of Titty Regulations ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… ).
OBESITY: I just don’t do fat girls. Life is too short to dance with or fuck fat girls.
EMACIATION: I don’t do emaciated girls either. If I ever get in the mood for an emaciated woman, I will hop on a flight to Somalia.
ALLEY-OOP ANKLES: This is an absolute deal killer for me. A woman is supposed to have delicate ankles. I don’t care if she is a world class tennis player or ice skater. If she has Alley-Oop ankles, I will scratch her off my “to do list.”
HALITOSIS: A beautiful face with soft, luscious, kissable lips is totally wasted on me if I can’t swoop in for a kiss without gagging. This concern eliminates all women who smoke.
VAGINOSIS: I’m a guy who likes to make out with a woman at both ends. Vaginosis is a deal killer for me. There is nothing I hate more than a pussy that reeks of last week’s leftover tuna casserole.
UGLY FEET: I have a thing about feet. Bad feet have knocked women who were otherwise serious contenders out of consideration. Feet can be ugly in a number of ways. They can be too big. They can have too many callouses. They can have too many visible veins or ugly toenails. Missing or deformed toes are a deal killer. Feet can be of a peculiar color. I was involved with a woman once who pushed all my buttons. She was smart, funny, articulate, smelled nice ... she was gorgeous from the top of her head all the way down to her ankles. But there was something about her feet that I just couldn’t stand. BLECCHH!!!
TATTOOS: There is no such thing as a tasteful tattoo. Yes, it’s true that a tattoo can be considered documentary evidence of a woman’s ability to make decisions she will regret in the morning, but I until such time (if ever) that I get a tattoo of my own, I’ll pass on all women with tattoos.
GINGIVITIS: Fucking forget about it!
PECULIAR FETISHES OR REQUESTS: I would immediately ditch any woman who asked me to invite half a dozen of my friends so we could all slap her around for a while before running a train on her. Likewise, if she asks me to talk dirty to her about Hermeticism, Gnosticism, Esotericism or Rosicrucianism I will immediately tell her that we are not destined to be but that I can introduce her to a guy in San Jose who will gladly talk dirty to her all night long in the back seat of his Prius about that kind of shit.
Some qualities (or lack thereof) can absolutely kill my budding interest in an otherwise attractive woman.
STUPIDITY: I don’t care how sexy a girl is, if I can’t engage in conversation with her unless it’s about drugs, rappers or tattoos, I can’t be bothered to unzip my trousers. The most beautiful woman I ever dated (she was Victoria Secret model quality) was so dull and inarticulate, that we were still working on our salad at dinner when I decided I couldn’t wait to get her back home (to HER place so I could drop her off and forget about her).
FAKE BOOBS: I’m not a boob-guy. Sure, I like titties, but they don’t have to be enormous. Regardless of their size, I insist on titties being authentic and to be in full compliance with the Federal Code of Titty Regulations ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… ).
OBESITY: I just don’t do fat girls. Life is too short to dance with or fuck fat girls.
EMACIATION: I don’t do emaciated girls either. If I ever get in the mood for an emaciated woman, I will hop on a flight to Somalia.
ALLEY-OOP ANKLES: This is an absolute deal killer for me. A woman is supposed to have delicate ankles. I don’t care if she is a world class tennis player or ice skater. If she has Alley-Oop ankles, I will scratch her off my “to do list.”
HALITOSIS: A beautiful face with soft, luscious, kissable lips is totally wasted on me if I can’t swoop in for a kiss without gagging. This concern eliminates all women who smoke.
VAGINOSIS: I’m a guy who likes to make out with a woman at both ends. Vaginosis is a deal killer for me. There is nothing I hate more than a pussy that reeks of last week’s leftover tuna casserole.
UGLY FEET: I have a thing about feet. Bad feet have knocked women who were otherwise serious contenders out of consideration. Feet can be ugly in a number of ways. They can be too big. They can have too many callouses. They can have too many visible veins or ugly toenails. Missing or deformed toes are a deal killer. Feet can be of a peculiar color. I was involved with a woman once who pushed all my buttons. She was smart, funny, articulate, smelled nice ... she was gorgeous from the top of her head all the way down to her ankles. But there was something about her feet that I just couldn’t stand. BLECCHH!!!
TATTOOS: There is no such thing as a tasteful tattoo. Yes, it’s true that a tattoo can be considered documentary evidence of a woman’s ability to make decisions she will regret in the morning, but I until such time (if ever) that I get a tattoo of my own, I’ll pass on all women with tattoos.
GINGIVITIS: Fucking forget about it!
PECULIAR FETISHES OR REQUESTS: I would immediately ditch any woman who asked me to invite half a dozen of my friends so we could all slap her around for a while before running a train on her. Likewise, if she asks me to talk dirty to her about Hermeticism, Gnosticism, Esotericism or Rosicrucianism I will immediately tell her that we are not destined to be but that I can introduce her to a guy in San Jose who will gladly talk dirty to her all night long in the back seat of his Prius about that kind of shit.
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45 comments
Several of your points fall under the umbrella of 'hygiene', which we agree on.
I don't get on with dancers who smell like an ashtray.
Have never dated a smoker on a continual basis - the few times I've made out with a smoker it made me wanna throw up - I tolerate it with dancers bc o/w I'd be bypassing a lof of dancers
DRUG USER
I could not date someone into drugs bc I've never had interest in that - I don't find anything sexy about seeing a woman rolling up a joint and then having a joint hanging from her mouth
FAKE BOOBS
I just don't like them and I could not see myself continually being with a woman with fake boobs
NON-ENDOWED WOMEN
I need to have something to grab/hold-on-to - being with a flat-chested no-ass woman would leave me constantly wsnting - I need both, good sized ass and titties - I guess if I could only choose one I'd choose good-sized boobs with a flat ass vs a nuce-ass and no-boobs
INTELLUGENT WOMEN
I admire intelligence but for w/e reason don't find it a turn-on - for w/e reason I find a bit-ditzy girl endearing - there is def a limit to how dumd she can be; e.g. if she thinks gangbangers and criminals are cool then that's not endearing - but if she tells me she has a PHd I'd be impressed but not necessarily turned on by that - if a dancer tells me she has a Masters degree it doesn't do much for me nor turn me on much if at all - I don't find a woman that can explain the Federal Reserve as something that draws me to her
TALL WOMEN
Have always preferred short women - have never dated a woman over 5'8 - a tall woman is def not an absolute deal-breaker but not my pref - I can get with very tall dsncers but probably wouldn't wanna date a very tall woman - much prefer a 4'10 girl with a body I like vs a 5'10 girl with a body I like
MAN HAIRSTYLE
Don't like very short hair that almost looks like a guy's hairstyle - perhaps not an absolute deal-breajer but more I'd be with her in-spite of her hairstyle instead of bc of it
SKINNY LIPS
Def like full lips - not a must-have but extremely thin lips are a turn-off and probably couldn't be continuously be with a chick with very thin lips
PASTY WHITE
Don't like pasty white skin - def prefer naturally tanned or olived skin
BIG EYES
I like large round eyes - find it attractive
SMALL AREOLAS
Def like them on the large side - don't find small areolas attractive/desirable
I don’t like super skinny girls with no ass.
Also can’t seem enjoy a woman with super short hair. Like pixie or boyish cut. I love long feminine hair. I can appreciate their body if their hair is short, and of course tip at the stage, but that’s a no go for VIP time.
I've grown to like some small ones bc it gives her a bit of a bad-girl look - don't like large ones like sleeves nor like them on certain areas like forearm or calves
I am willing to occasionally compromise on some of my criteria when it comes to strippers precisely because I DON’T intend to have a lasting relationship with any of them.
While I’m at it, I will confess that I also occasionally relieve myself in public urinals.
I also want a face I can look at. A great body but a bad face just doesn't do it for me. So many times I've approached a girl, only to find that the makeup and distance and lighting had fooled me!
I failed to mention freckles.
I don’t do freckles.
- fake ass
- flat chest
- flat ass
- bald head
- more muscles than most men
- more tattoos than bare skin
- bad hygiene
- too much ribcage showing
- waistline bigger than bust and hips
- flabby
- "mailing it in" attitude
One of my sexiest dances ever was stopped at one & done due to mild halitosis.
I'm evolving on tattoos; in the SC it's a rare wonderful body with none.
I would say bad breath, fat, mean, no ass. And to me that’s all fixable. Otherwise I’m really open.
^ LMAO @Papi it's INTELLIGENT
And @reverend they're called "cankles"
Tats are not a deal killer but not a turn on. The bad girl vibe they give off can be nice but the judgment that has gone into some tats seems to often reflect bigger issues of judgment. Not always though.
Drug use is like tats in that it’s not an automatic deal breaker. But it can be depending on how it manifests itself.
I guess I’d also add overdone makeup to the list if likely deal breakers. If she needs an excessive amount of makeup to look good, I’m not 8nterested. Or if she doesn’t need it but it’s her idea of what looks good, I’ll pass.
KINKY: major turn-ON, not a turn-off
STUPID: No big deal. My major measure is how fun she is. I've met strippers who are not the sharpest tool in the shed, but they're fun, funny, charming, and interesting in other ways.
FAKE BOOBS: I am not a boob guy. I dislike fake boobs, but very easy to ignore for me, even bad boob jobs. I'm gonna have my face buried in her ass anyway
Additions to turn-offs:
NOT FUN: personality is huge. If she's not fun to drink with, she's out
FLAT ASS: mentioned above, but worth re-mentioning :)
HAIRSTYLE LIKE SKRILLEX: nuff said
FACE PIERCINGS ANYWHERE BUT HER EARS: lips nope septum nope labret nope eyebrow nope monroe nope. Nope nope nope. Dislike nostril but I'll tolerate it
Also SirLapdance mentioned the number one complete deal breaker for me, for dancers and just women in general. But I didn’t even think to list it.
When a woman’s waist is thicker than her hips or boobs. That apple shape, after menopause, insulin resistant, too much beer thick middle look on any size woman instantly turns me off. I like thick women mostly, but they have to have that hour glass shape. Even slender women, can get that thick waist around middle age usually from heavy drinking.
I don’t care how awesome she is in every other way, that look turns off any thought of sex in my brain.
Almost everything else I can over look with the right girl. Tattoos, piercing, fake tits...
My biggest turn offs are bad hygiene, ‘thicc’ aka fat girls and short hair. Other than that I’m easy
- short hair
- big lips
- huge boobs
- floppy or saggy boobs
- large dark areolas
- rough skin or non-shaved legs
- non protruding nipples
- facial piercings
Poor hygiene
Shitty attitude
Beyond that I feel that I can vibe with most women. There are some 'types' that I am easily attracted to but it is fun getting along with and having fun with all kinds of girls.
-unattractive face
-fake breasts
-excessive tattoos
- cig smoker
That’s about it.
"Likewise, if she asks me to talk dirty to her about Hermeticism, Gnosticism, Esotericism or Rosicrucianism"
Didn't want to embarrass myself by resorting to a dictionary
After reading your list and explanations, I too would not consider you terribly picky.
I would consider you are positively picky.
One thing I don't think has been mentioned is an overbearing personality, kind of like an alpha male -- bossy, has to be her way, thinks she can kick the shit out of any other female and quite a few males, too.
Kind of like butch or Tom boyish, tough gal type. Fuck that shit, I want my gal to be 100 percent feminine, preferably soft-spoken and amiable, but one who will speak up for herself if need be.
Also, I don't mind enhanced breasts one bit. I'm OK with tattoos as long as it's nothing ridiculous, like on her face, covering her beck or whole arms and legs. Same with piercings, it's OK if it's not out of control.
bad teeth - I always notice people teeth as soon as they talk to me. I'll still get a dance, but long term it's a no. Once I see them I can't stop looking so conversations will be difficult.
Girls that don't allow touching - if you're facing me during the lap dance, my hands are going to be on your ass. if you tell me no touching or move my hands, that's the only dance I'm going to buy from you.
a floppity pussy - if your vagina looks like an M80 just went off, i'm just not interested. I know some girls just have vaginas that are that way, but I like them to look like they are about to go out to a 5 star resturant, not like they just woke up and need to be to work in 2 minutes. Tuck that shit in or something.
pushy girls - if we've done a dance for 9 seconds and you're asking me if we can move to a CR, I think we're about done. This is an audition, work your ass off and then lets talk.
repeat moves - i don't pay a lot of attention to how the girl is grinding on me, but if you have something cute that you do that's like your signature move, like lick my ear and purr, you better have a long routine, because the 3rd time you do it and we're just started the 2nd song, I'm paying attention and completely analyzing your moves. I'll probably do a 3rd or 4th song just to see if I can predict when the ear lick purr is coming, but then i consider you boring as fuck and I'm done with you. Sure the hell not taking you into a CR.
liars - if you specifically tell me something is going to happen, that I can do something to you or you're going to do something to me when we go into a room, and that doesn't happen, you're black listed. I've had a few girls tell me how much they want me to play with their pussy. Go into a room and then they remember their on their period, or just lying about being on their period. Either way, you'll never get another penny from me again.
along the same line as the liars - the blatant lying complementers. I know what I look like, and there are a lot of adjectives that I wouldn't use to describe me. Yes it's a fantasy and yes, I want you to stroke my ego along with other things, but when you're telling me I look just like Brad Pitt, you've gone a little too far down the rabbit hole, and I just snapped back to reality. Fantasy over and so is my time with you.
the girl that orders the most expensive drink - I'm usually pretty good to offer a drink to anyone sitting with me, and don't often think about the price, but one time a girl ordered 2 drinks, and then asked me if I wanted to do shots. Her 2 drinks were like $27. bitch, you've been sitting with me for 97 seconds, what the fuck?
I'm a fan of pretty much any dancer who looks natural and proportionate. "Why didn't you list implants as a turnoff"...one, some implants make women look proportionate; and two, you pretty much have to give a pass on implants here because so many women have them.
But other than general hygiene (i.e., smell good) and expect to do her part in a topless/nude club - there is no deal killer for me. (tattoos, some belly fat, lack of ass, quiet type, etc - all ok for me)
One thing I have not understood about many dancers. For over an hour a dancer will sit barside, or on the main floor waiting for a customer to approach her. Finally she wins a customer and gives him lappers or VIP. After that, she is on a roll. Right after finishing a stack with one customer - goes to the next table and offers dances/VIP - still topless and wearing just a thong and sweaty body. Finishes that up in 4-5 songs and immediately goes to the next - even more sweatier and more worn out.
When such a dancer approaches me, I ask her to freshen up and come back.
In this matter, I appreciate dancers who go back to locker room - freshen up or even change the outfit and come back to floor fresh, after each session with a customer.
-Always having a drink in her hand; again, I look up and it always seems like certain girls are sucking down a glass or bottle of something.
-I don't like stick figures. No thanks. I actually like thick girls that are in good shape, but I won't turn away a thin dancer that's really fine and with great legs.
-Dancers who dance everywhere but on the actual stage. They actually do solid dance moves on the floor, but when they get on the stage, they just walk around looking mean.
However, I’m secure enough to admit everything I’ve done because I’m a rick and, by definition, things ricks do are monumentally great!
ROAR!!!
Imagine if I could make these 4 lions come to life. How much would such a lion weigh, 20,000 lbs?
https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6176/61707…
As they are, they each weigh 7 tons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trafalgar_…
They are made of bronze, and they are not identical.
http://www.speel.me.uk/sculptlondon/land…
http://www.speel.me.uk/sculptlondon/lonp…
SJG