tuscl

Did Jesus Die for E.T.’s Sins?

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Tuesday, September 10, 2019 5:56 AM
Exoplanets are being discovered with increasing frequency. To date, roughly 4,000 exoplanets have been discovered and are considered “confirmed.” Approximately another 3,000 are considered “possible detections” awaiting further data for confirmation. [view link] Complex, chiral organic molecules (such as, my favorite, propylene oxide) have been detected in deep interstellar space. [view link] Sooner or later, there will be hard evidence for extraterrestrial life. It will probably be a much longer wait before we have good evidence for extraterrestrial intelligence (whether existing or extinct) but it’s clearly time to consider the possibility and the implications of extraterrestrial life, intelligent or not. In 2012 the Catholic Church held a symposium on the possibility of extraterrestrial life. This was a spectacular about face for an institution better known for persecuting and even executing as heretics anyone who dared speculate in public about any planets (even in our own solar system), much less about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. [view link] The mere possibility of intelligent extraterrestrial life begs the question, “Did Jesus die for E.T.’s sins too?” If so, does this imply that an alien Jesus died on a distant planet to atone for the God-given imperfections of an alien race? [view link] And why not? Jesus was such a big hit on Earth why wouldn’t he take his messiah show on the road to try to replicate his success elsewhere in the cosmos? If we ever find evidence of an intelligent extraterrestrial civilization I hope we beam broadcasts of some of our best televangelists their way. It would be the perfect litmus test for determining whether they are truly intelligent or just as stupid and gullible as we are! [view link]

25 comments

  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Are you trying to start a conversation about the existence of intelligent life on other planets ? OR are you trying to make fun of people on Earth that believe in Christ ?
  • reverendhornibastard
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    5 years ago
    I was actually trying to spur a discussion about whether there is ANY intelligent life ANYWHERE in the cosmos.
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    With so many planets that are in that in a position to have life, then I think we are foolish to think it does not exist. But in what form ? Is it simply a bacteria that lives there ? That is LIFE. But to have a civilization where humanoid creatures have cultures and languages ? I'm not sure. How our planet has evolved may be totally different than life on other planets.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
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    5 years ago
    The existence of life on other planets is nearly certain (personal opinion... I'm no astrophysicist). The existence of intelligent, self-aware life is not impossible, but would be more more rare by orders of magnitude. The existence of intelligent life that is technologically advanced to the degree that it can pick up what we're sending out would be like locating a specific grain of sand in the Sahara. But if all of that were to pan out, I'd be a bit worried about them being more extreme zealots than any particular religious group on Earth. But it doesn't keep me awake at night...
  • ATACdawg
    •
    5 years ago
    Well, Rev, I am an unabashed Christian. If there is one universal God, and I believe that there is, then salvation and grace would be equally universal. I also believe that greed, cruelty and the desire to dominate others would be as endemic on other "civilized" planets as it is here, and that their need for grace will be as great. Then again, if we were the first creation, God might well think, "That whole free will thing didn't work out so well on Earth. Let's do something different this time...." 😉
  • jackslash
    •
    5 years ago
    It seems to me that life almost certainly exists on some of the planets circling billions of stars in billions of galaxies. Intelligent life will be more rare. God could touch aliens with his grace, but I'm hoping there will not be any alien televangelists.
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    There’s got to be intelligent life out there somewhere Just not here ;)
  • doctorevil
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    5 years ago
    If you believe in evolution, you almost have to believe there is intelligent life elsewhere. There are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on the earth. It’s highly improbable earth is the only place intelligent life evolved.
  • nicespice
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    5 years ago
    One of my favorite short stories ever has an interesting thought that all of life and the universe is a way of allowing a god fetus to be born. [view link] ^VERY short read, I recommend.
  • SirLapdancealot
    •
    5 years ago
    Did Jesus die for ET's sins or was Jesus ET?
  • doctorevil
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    5 years ago
    A good movie kind of related to the original post and Nicespice’s story is 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  • gSteph
    •
    5 years ago
    Yeah, cool story.
  • Muddy
    •
    5 years ago
    Cool stuff to think about
  • Cashman1234
    •
    5 years ago
    I think you are asking an interesting question - with many sub-texts. First off - Juice is still alive. I understand your error - as his first name begins with a J - and with his consumption of greasy chicken and Four Loko - his life span is definitely short. The only board contributor (and that is a very loose definition of contributor) who seems alien is SJG. When you think about his affinity towards bicycles - your reference is quite obvious. So, it seems that you are asking - Did Juice die because of SJG's excessive and constant masturbation? Sadly, it is possible for Juice to be a sacrificial lamb - offered up as a sacrifice for the constant masturbation of SJG. I hope its not an actual prophecy.
  • nicespice
    •
    5 years ago
    Jesus came back to life, foretold the existence of this message board, and declared: “lol fuck that. Gonna go back to heaven. Ok bye”
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    The idea of Jesus being a blood atonement for people's sins is an out of date theology. SJG
  • rickthelion
    •
    5 years ago
    Horny Reverend, you are asking two questions, one scientific and one theological. As one of the smartest ricks I happen to know the answers to both!!! Regarding life on other worlds, it exists and I have met an “alien”. Good guy. Looked like the grey aliens in the alien abduction movies you hairless apes like to watch. But he wore a nice suit. He told me his name was rick and said he liked to abduct sexy female hairless apes and give them the ol’ anal probing while telling the female apes that he’s a chemical engineer! ROAR!!!
  • rickthelion
    •
    5 years ago
    Now for theology. You apes have it wrong. Historically, you apes have had all these arguments over the meaning of the eucharist while missing the big point: superior beings are predators of inferior beings. God is superior, therefore he is a predator! If the aliens are sinful it doesn’t matter because the true savior - his name is rick you know - will come forth and go wildebeest on their asses. Assuming they have asses, which I believe they do given that rickthealien is assessed with the anal probing. Of course, I was pretty drunk when I met rickthealien. It is possible that I was actually discussing some new system for getting the anal sex with my buds rickdugan and rickthevulture. But I’m pretty sure there was an alien sitting at the table. Things ended with us gangbanging a stripper so all is good! Let me tell you: that stripper atoned for her sins that night! ROAR!!!
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    The Ricks have positioned themselves as top predators, and they are awaiting the emergence of the Übermensch. But will the Übermensch be Good or Evil? Is there anyway we can tell for sure, and is there even any difference? E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb -E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb -E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb -E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb - E - Eb -E - Eb - E - Eb -E - Eb - E - Eb [view link] SJG Researching the origins of the Ricks, meetings held at Farben Haus in Frankfurt, end of 1943. [view link] Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Should we admit dogs? A rick conundrum [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link]
  • loper
    •
    5 years ago
    Nice little short story, nice. Reminds me of the old joke: "Is it solipstistic in here or is it just me?"
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    So we have the Lion, the Crab, the Vulture, and the Turtle. These are the four creatures who escort the throne, as the ÜberRick descends, ready to unleash his Trumpeters and his Horsemen, to conquer and subdue the hairless apes. SJG So a question to the Council of Ricks, have you ever done a hairless ape sacrifice? Do you plan to? [view link] Researching the origins of IG Ricks [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link] Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Did Jesus Die for E.T.’s Sins? [view link] Hitler's Monsters: A Supernatural History of the Third Reich [view link]
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    5 years ago
    Jesus didn't die. He just passed out for the weekend for your sins.
  • rickthecoconutcrab
    •
    5 years ago
    Ain’t that rich: Georgie lil dick talking ‘bout God. If that guy were ever faced with he one true God (rickthedeity) he’d shit his trousers. And the last word he’d hear before his eternity in hellfire would be “wildebeest”, followed by a lion’s roar. Such is the punishment for all georges who defy the ricks. There is still time to repent Georgie! Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Lion, Vulture, Turtle, drawing from three different classes. But Crab, that is coming from an entirely different Phylum. The French occultist Eliphas Levi drew Baphomet in 1856. Notice that besides being androgynous, it has mammalian, bird, and reptilian parts. But Crab, no, nothing like that. [view link] The name Baphomet, comes from something the Knights Templar were accused of worshiping, "Since 1856, the name Baphomet has been associated with a "Sabbatic Goat" image drawn by Eliphas Levi[5] which contains binary elements representing the "sum total of the universe" (e.g. male and female, good and evil, on and off, etc.). On one hand, Lévi's intention was to symbolize his concept of "the equilibrium of the opposites" that was essential to his magnetistic notion of the Astral Light; on the other hand, the Baphomet represents a tradition that should result in a perfect social order." Also called Goat of Mendes [view link] In also going to a Crab, the Ricks Gesellschaft, also an occult movement, must have something specific in mind. SJG Apes used to need their hair to keep warm [view link] So a question to the Council of Ricks, have you ever done a hairless ape sacrifice? Do you plan to? [view link] Researching the origins of IG Ricks [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link] Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Did Jesus Die for E.T.’s Sins? [view link] Hitler's Monsters: A Supernatural History of the Third Reich [view link] Science and the Swastika : Hitler's Biological Soldiers [view link]
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Goat of Mendes [view link] The Council of Ricks has moved far beyond this though. Baphomet includes from the classes mammal, bird, and reptile. But their crab is coming from an entirely different phylum. [view link] SJG So a question to the Council of Ricks, have you ever done a hairless ape sacrifice? Do you plan to? [view link] Researching the origins of IG Ricks [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link] Ricks and Juice [view link] Apes used to need their hair to keep warm [view link] Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Did Jesus Die for E.T.’s Sins? [view link] Hitler's Monsters: A Supernatural History of the Third Reich [view link] Science and the Swastika : Hitler's Biological Soldiers [view link] Read the history of strip club legal issues: [view link] Beth Hart [view link] hot looking girl [view link]
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