tuscl

Works Once in a Blue Moon!

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Wednesday, September 11, 2019 8:55 AM
Some people believe some pretty weird and outrageous shit. Not you and me, of course, but SOME people do. But you and I both know some of these people who believe truly weird shit. Some believe the Earth is flat. Some believe the Bush administration was behind the attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001. Some people believe men never went to the moon and that aliens built the pyramids. Some people believe prayer works. That last one is every bit as zany as any of the others. Some of my friends and relatives point to the rare occasions when prayers appear to have been answered as evidence of the efficacy of prayer. They blithely ignore the overwhelming number of instances where prayers yielded no results. Presumably people don’t waste a lot of time praying for outcomes that are plainly reliable. People don’t pray for a white Christmas in Nome, Alaska and they don’t pray for sunny, dry weather in Phoenix. But they DO pray for things like winning the lottery or the cure of grievously, even terminally ill family members. Let’s say prayer works once in a million times. OK, if you think I’m being too stingy with my odds, let’s say prayer works ten times more often - once in a 100,000 times. Still not satisfied? OK, let’s say prayer works another hundred times better than THAT. Let’s say it works once in a 1,000 times. Does that mean prayer works? What about the 999 times out of 1,000 that it didn’t work? Don’t those negative results mean anything? Does Bayer advertise that their aspirin relieves pain or reduces fever in one out of every 1,000 doses taken? If they did, who would buy it? Who would believe that Bayer aspirin was worth a damn? I know lots of people who SHOULD believe such an absurd claim about Bayer aspirin. But I also know they WOULDN’T! Yet, they persist in believing in that prayer works! Are they holding the purveyors of Bayer aspirin to a higher standard than they apply to God Almighty? [view link]

25 comments

  • chessmaster
    •
    5 years ago
    I went to church growing up but honestly if god is real I blame him for everything rong with the world. I think I could do better If i was god. No way I "praise the lawrd" with so much injustice and frankly unfairness in the world. Hell the religious holier than though types are some the biggest hypocrites.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    5 years ago
    My belief towards prayer isn't very different than my belief about 'luck'.
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ I believe in luck Ish 99% of luck you make yourself
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    5 years ago
    Precisely.
  • woodstock
    •
    5 years ago
    It's bad luck to be superstitious.
  • rickthelion
    •
    5 years ago
    Reverend Horny, what you apes don’t recognize is that God exists but his name is rick. About 2000 years ago he showed up in the house of some chick named Mary wearing a nice toga (the Roman equivalent of a suit), said “hey babe, I’m a chemical engineer” (in Aramaic of course), impregnated the bitch, and convinced her dumbass husband to support his kid. And you apes decided to worship rickthedeity. Dumbasses! ROAR!!!
  • Cashman1234
    •
    5 years ago
    The simple truth of the matter is prayer is a method of developing a relationship with God. It helps to have a spiritual dialogue if you are a person of faith (who worships a God). Prayer doesn't always need to be asking for something. It can be a prayer of thanksgiving, or a prayer where you simply desire to feel closer to God. We never know what Gods actual plan is - so even seemingly answered prayers may not always be the answers we asked for. Most times - we pray in dire circumstances. Its human nature in many cases. So our odds are 1 in a million. I'd still rather pray at those times, and thank God too, as not having any belief (or hope) might be a bit too gloomy. Yes, I'm unenlightened. I might be a complete loon. But I'm ok with being a loon who prays and believes.
  • rickthecoconutcrab
    •
    5 years ago
    Cashguy, the lion has told you God’s plan: being a badass! The problem is that you think God cares about you. Typical ape arrogance! God most doesn’t care. There is only one area where God’s heart is moved. I have it on good authority that God has a soft spot in his heart for pangolins and Tasmanian tigers and you damn dirty apes wiped one of those species. You want to get in God’s good graces? Tithe 10% of your income by supporting pangolin conservation! Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
  • rickthecoconutcrab
    •
    5 years ago
    Other than the soft spot in his heart for pangolins, rickthedeity is 110% badass! I know what you’re thinking: nothing can be 110% badass. Wrong! Maximum badass percentage for an ape is 90% (that would be rickthechinaman, rickdugan is 89% badass). Lions, tigers, bears, and giant crabs can be up to 99% badass. Barnacles can be 100% badass. The real God: he tops out as 110%! Now you know! Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
  • ATACdawg
    •
    5 years ago
    And yes, sometimes God says "No." God is not a golden faucet that will grant our every want. The Lord's Prayer says, "Give us this day our daily bread," not, "Give me everything my heart desires, including that nifty Bugatti Veyron." Our purpose is not to be served by God, but rather to serve God. Some of us, and I include you Rev, serve God without believing. Are you fair to people that you interact with? Do you seek justice? Then you serve God and may even be more blessed because you do these things without hope of gain.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Here is a real good book which denounces any literal or objective theism. Written from a series of lectures given at Harvard, just as Spong retired from serving as Bishop of Newark. Theism is what guarantees future atheism. [view link] And yes, you could say that it is also consistent with what you are hearing from the Ricks Gesellschaft. Reseaching the origins of the Ricks, it seems that the progenitors of the Ricks had met in Farben Haus in Frankfurt. As it is with the Ricks, they always liked to meet on top floors. [view link] Interessengemeinschaft, means a community of interests. This is how you redefine community to get from a gemeinshaft to a gesellshaft. So the plans were laid for IG Ricks on the top floor of the IG Farben headquarters. There had been the allied landings in North Africa, and then the defeat at Stalingrad, so they knew that they had to plan for something. So while their plan did require getting money and key people out, never did they consider following Claus von Stauffenberg and his 7/20/44 plot. They had remained loyal. They still remain loyal. SJG Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Should we admit dogs? A rick conundrum [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link]
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    Are you advocating suicide rev?
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^ thanks
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^ I wanna know who dates dealer is
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    DAT not dates
  • skibum609
    •
    5 years ago
    Progressives believe in big government, which makes them the fucking stupidest assholes on Earth.
  • ricktheturtle
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^ So says a post-boil fredthecrab. Aah...yup.
  • ricktheturtle
    •
    5 years ago
    Only a stupid creature would care about big government vs small government vs no government. All that matters is wildebeest and predators! As a rick I am a predator. Skibum aka fred clearly has a myopic view of the world. Probably the damage to his eyes when he was partially boiled. I do give the guy props for managing to escape the boiling pot, but no badass crab would allow apes to throw him into a boiling pot. And badassery is a prerequisite for rickness. All skibum has is fredness Aah...yup!
  • JimGassagain
    •
    5 years ago
    Why all this vitriol towards prayer and religion? If you don’t want to believe in it, then go about your life as you wish. Yet the human nature of many needs to have a faith guiding them to proceed through all their struggles. So what, who cares if they choose the outlet of prayer, maybe it’s their form of meditation? Whatever gets people through their day and lives should be celebrated, not demonized. Better they choose religion over emptying a magazine of shells onto a crowd of people from an automatic weapon. If we allowed more tolerance for God and prayer, it is quite possible we would have less violence in our society.
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^Amen My thoughts and prayers are with you VH_Kicks
  • MackTruck
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^ Kang of da trolla mane!
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    @JimGassagain “If we allowed more tolerance for God and prayer, it is quite possible we would have less violence in our society.” Sounds good on paper. You would expect this to be so. But some of the most fervently religious societies are among the most violent on Earth. This includes the USA and Afghanistan. Meanwhile, some of the safest societies in the world are among the most godless (China, Japan, Sweden). I’ve spent time in all three of those countries. I didn’t care much for China or Japan but I must admit, I felt safer there than I have ever felt in Texas (a very religious place). And for the record, I’m not saying religious fervor or the lack of it makes a place dangerous or safe. I’m sure it’s not that simple. But the correlation is there for all to see and it is contrary to what you might expect given that most religions preach peace (but not necessarily tolerance).
  • Mate27
    •
    5 years ago
    Reverend, I do believe that you can think one’s choices are goofy yet still have validity. Take for example mediums, because I believe they’re the biggest hoax around. The fact that mediums convince the people they’re doing a reading for that they have the ability to crossover to the afterlife and can connect them to loved ones who’ve passed. It’s complete crock of shit, but if that person feels somehow a medium has helped them get in touch with a dead relative, good for them! Why do I give a shit because it doesn’t help or harm me one bit. The same thing with those who pray. It doesn’t affect me so who cares.
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    I understand the argument that “prayer doesn’t hurt.” Most of the time prayer probably doesn’t hurt. But sometimes it does. Some people will pray rather than take their child to a doctor even when their child desperately needs quality medical attention. Our elected officials constantly offer their “thoughts and prayers“ after another mass shooting rather than consider taking concrete steps that might help avoid similar calamities in the future. Prayer may not always be harmful, but then neither is clear thinking.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Years ago I would have gone along with you guys. But now I know that IG Ricks has got you all beat. SJG Researching the origins of the Ricks, meetings held at Farben Haus in Frankfurt, end of 1943. [view link] is skibum’s real name fred? [view link] Wooking for any available guard dog 🐕 jobs [view link] Hitler's Monsters: A Supernatural History of the Third Reich [view link]
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