Sister John Anthony’s Pathetic Tits
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I had to attend Catholic school from kindergarten through the eight grade. It was my punishment for foolishly allowing myself to be born into a Catholic family.
Despite the assortment of mixed nuts (misfit priests and nuns) who ran the school, the nine years spent in Catholic school provided me a surprisingly good education. Although it was surely unintentional, I credit those nuns and priests for opening my mind and leading me to reject religion in general and Catholicism in particular as just a lot of empty-headed, useless hooey.
One of my teachers was a nun who went by the name of “Sister John Anthony.”
Even as a child I thought there was something not quite right about a woman who picked such a masculine name for herself when she took her vows. Why “John Anthony?” Why not “Spike” or “Bullwinkle” or “Butch Cassidy?”
Sister John Anthony was a total nut case who often went on wild rants that could easily last an hour. I remember one of her rants that erupted just after the mid-day recess. As we filed back into her classroom, it was evident that she was very already angry about something. Her dour expression was laden with religious fervor, scorn and resentment.
No sooner than we had all taken our seats she cut loose.
“How can men be so incredibly stupid and vile that their minds melt into goo at the mere sight of this bump or that lump of flesh on a girl’s body?” She was practically screaming at us already.
We looked around at each other, wondering who the hell had provoked her this time.
Sister John Anthony went on to warn the girls in our class about how unremittingly disgusting their male classmates were going to soon become. The girls were warned to ensure that their clothing was suitably chaste and covered any lumps or bumps that might transform their male classmates into ravenous sexual predators.
I was personally offended by this rant. I recognized myself in Sister John Anthony’s frothing soliloquy and vitriolic accusations. Although I was still young and my feminine classmates were only beginning to grow any interesting lumps and bumps, I had certainly taken notice of these fleshy new embellishments that were slowly transforming my skirt-wearing schoolyard pals into something far more fascinating than I had imagined possible.
I felt no shame in this. It seemed to me that this male reaction to feminine bumps and lumps that so greatly offended Sister John Anthony was actually part of Almighty God’s Divine Plan. Even at my young age, I could see that this was God’s way of ensuring the human race did not go extinct due to a lack of babies.
But Sister John Anthony was evidently violently opposed to Almighty God’s Divine Plan. As far as Sister John Anthony was concerned, Almighty God had fucked up royally by creating males who were fascinated by fleshy feminine lumps and bumps.
It made me wonder why this part of the Divine Plan pissed her off so badly.
Then it dawned on me. Perhaps, in her youth, before she decided to become a nun, Sister John Anthony had taken a fancy to a young man but that young man broke her heart by telling her that her muchachas were uniquely uninspiring and then dumping her for another girl whose fleshy bumps and lumps were more to his liking.
As I watched this nutty nun, her face twitching and frothing in rage about the absurdity of male fascination with feminine bumps and lumps, I felt a twinge of pity for Sister John Anthony and her pathetic, uninspiring tits.
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=2210
Despite the assortment of mixed nuts (misfit priests and nuns) who ran the school, the nine years spent in Catholic school provided me a surprisingly good education. Although it was surely unintentional, I credit those nuns and priests for opening my mind and leading me to reject religion in general and Catholicism in particular as just a lot of empty-headed, useless hooey.
One of my teachers was a nun who went by the name of “Sister John Anthony.”
Even as a child I thought there was something not quite right about a woman who picked such a masculine name for herself when she took her vows. Why “John Anthony?” Why not “Spike” or “Bullwinkle” or “Butch Cassidy?”
Sister John Anthony was a total nut case who often went on wild rants that could easily last an hour. I remember one of her rants that erupted just after the mid-day recess. As we filed back into her classroom, it was evident that she was very already angry about something. Her dour expression was laden with religious fervor, scorn and resentment.
No sooner than we had all taken our seats she cut loose.
“How can men be so incredibly stupid and vile that their minds melt into goo at the mere sight of this bump or that lump of flesh on a girl’s body?” She was practically screaming at us already.
We looked around at each other, wondering who the hell had provoked her this time.
Sister John Anthony went on to warn the girls in our class about how unremittingly disgusting their male classmates were going to soon become. The girls were warned to ensure that their clothing was suitably chaste and covered any lumps or bumps that might transform their male classmates into ravenous sexual predators.
I was personally offended by this rant. I recognized myself in Sister John Anthony’s frothing soliloquy and vitriolic accusations. Although I was still young and my feminine classmates were only beginning to grow any interesting lumps and bumps, I had certainly taken notice of these fleshy new embellishments that were slowly transforming my skirt-wearing schoolyard pals into something far more fascinating than I had imagined possible.
I felt no shame in this. It seemed to me that this male reaction to feminine bumps and lumps that so greatly offended Sister John Anthony was actually part of Almighty God’s Divine Plan. Even at my young age, I could see that this was God’s way of ensuring the human race did not go extinct due to a lack of babies.
But Sister John Anthony was evidently violently opposed to Almighty God’s Divine Plan. As far as Sister John Anthony was concerned, Almighty God had fucked up royally by creating males who were fascinated by fleshy feminine lumps and bumps.
It made me wonder why this part of the Divine Plan pissed her off so badly.
Then it dawned on me. Perhaps, in her youth, before she decided to become a nun, Sister John Anthony had taken a fancy to a young man but that young man broke her heart by telling her that her muchachas were uniquely uninspiring and then dumping her for another girl whose fleshy bumps and lumps were more to his liking.
As I watched this nutty nun, her face twitching and frothing in rage about the absurdity of male fascination with feminine bumps and lumps, I felt a twinge of pity for Sister John Anthony and her pathetic, uninspiring tits.
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=2210
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28 comments
It’s absurd that a religious woman like her was trying to stand in the way of Almighty God’s Divine Plan.
A more enlightened woman might have simply warned us about the hormonal hurricane we were all in for and encouraged us to speak to our parents, the parish priests or to her about how to deal with the inevitable emotional turmoil.
Instead, she told us we would be dirty and unworthy for even thinking or feeling as our new hormones would soon demand.
Sister Mary Elephant had no mercy whatsoever. On the first day of school the line of students waiting to see a guidance counselor to change out of her class wended into the hallway. I prohibited such changes in most cases because, despite her animus, her charges did learn ( or else). One day she needed to see a teacher who was also the school’s baseball coach. She was going down the back stairs after school hours, leading to the gymnasium, when she came across one of the cheerleaders orally rendering ecstatic, the captain of the baseball team. A good old knock your Sox off blowjob! She used a hold, unknown in WWF, but taught in nun school, to drag both offenders up the stairs and to march them to my office. By the time they arrived he almost had his pants up and frankly I think she was still wiping the issue of her efforts from her cheeks. I dealt with the offense rationally ( would you demonstrate just what got the teacher upset? No, not I). Basically told them to deal with it outside of school and come see your guidance counselors tomorrow.
Now the other ex-nun, had a better understanding of adolescent development, was also a very effective teacher, and had a sense of humor. Another teacher had developed a rare type of brain cancer and our insurance company had approved an “experimental” treatment protocol which required several long hospital stays. Such a case takes a financial toll beyond the medical costs, so all of the teachers decided to have a fund raising talent show behind locked doors - not open to the public. I didn’t know about Sister’s act until she emerged from behind the curtain with a wig and... yes conical metal breasts... and yes it was Madonna, Lip-syncing “ Like a Virgin”.
So Sister John Anthony May have been a battle-ax, but they come in all stripes.
“So Sister John Anthony may have been a battle-axe, but they come in all stripes.”
I don’t recall what order of nun Sister John Anthony was but I remember that she looked like a Firestone tire (black with white sidewalls).
This one very stern but kinda formal nun addressed students by their last name, with Miss or Master as title.
"Miss Johnson, pay attention ", or "Master Daniel, explain to the class why your book report is not done"
Until the day Kevin Bates joined the class.
She also kept 2 pairs of boxing gloves in the cloak room, daring anyone to talk back to her. One day the big farmer boy brute took her up on it. Left him knocked out cold. Went back to teaching the stunned class. About 9th grade or so.
As a cradle Catholic, you of all people should know what it means for a woman to choose the life of a nun. They no longer teach in the Catholic schools because there just aren't enough of them anymore of with the credentials to do so. But in the communities that they serve, they are often the only force for good and/or the only place where help and hope can be found. They give of themselves tirelessly and selflessly, some saving lives while remaining in complete obscurity, never recognized for what they have done.
So whatever your new beliefs are or however much adolescent angst you're still harboring re: Catholicism, nothing justifies talking about a nun like that. That uptight battle ax probably did more good for more people during her life than all of us on this board combined and certainly far more than an immature self involved shit stain like you.
Can't wait for the Rev's reply. Rick managing to make friends everywhere he goes. With a reply like Rick's, you'd think he confirmed that the Reverend was talking about his mom or something.
Some priests are saints. That does not exempt those who are pedophiles from responsibility for the harm they cause.
Likewise, just because some nuns do wonderful work doesn’t excuse the asinine behavior of others.
Sister John Anthony was telling us we were all disgusting deviants because we were noticing how our feminine classmates were blossoming into young women.
As an educator of adolescents she should have been better trained.
Even as a kid, I could see that she was out of her depth and woefully ineffective.
None of us took her rants seriously.
Her rants were a total waste of breath.
Many people don't know this (though you should), but Nuns completely give up their lives to serve their Orders. Even more so than priests because, unlike priests, Nuns aren't even allowed to own worldly goods or earn a salary. When a Nun does take a job which pays a salary, she has to remit it to her Order. They live for no other reason than to serve their faith and their communities, which often includes serving the sick, poor and emotionally distraught. Some still serve as unpaid Catholic school teachers and administrators, for no reason other than a desire to nurture the next generation.
So Sister John Anthony gave up her life and everything worldly just to be there teaching you, for no reward or recompense other than a desire to serve. She also doubtlessly did numerous other good works and acts in the community for which she will never be recognized. So chide her if you will for her rant, but ultimately I think she can be forgiven a misplaced rant and certainly doesn't deserve being talked about like a piece of meat.
The good work of some does not immunize others from criticism for their shortcomings.
Sister John Anthony was a poor excuse for an educator. That other nuns made excellent educators does not immunize Sister John Anthony from criticism or even ridicule.
Sister John Anthony may have been miraculous in the bowling alley but her classroom antics were mostly gutter balls.
As for being a piece of meat, we are all pieces of meat.
I’m proud of my piece of meat.
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
Hell, we’re all douchebags here.
After all, this is The Ultimate Strip Club List isn’t it?
I can only imagine what went so wrong with you. For some reason you are utterly lacking in the maturity necessary to respect the sacrifices of others, whether you agree with their beliefs or not. Sadly this is a common defect in the Millennials, but I'm surprised to see it in someone of your purported age and life experience.
In my experience, people are judged more for the results they produce than for their motives.
You can measure results. Motives are far more difficult to gauge.
Sister John Anthony was a poor teacher. I was not alone in my class for regarding her as a joke.
As for motives, on September 11, 2001 a small group of religious zealots gave their lives for what they believed in. They sincerely believed they were doing the work of Allah.
I judge people by the results of their efforts, not by their motives.
I wanted to be The Grand Douchebag!
Well rev, you did make crude references to the tits of a holy woman who dedicated her entire life to helping others. Then, solely because she was not the greatest teacher, you compared her to pedophile priests. Then, when that wasn't enough, you analogized her many sacrifices in service to others to jihadists who sacrificed their lives for the slaughter of others.
So congratulations rev, you've made it. After all of that, Nobody is more deserving of the title than you. 😉
Anyone who dedicates his/her life to the service of others deserves a certain level of respect unless he/she does something truly heinous. It just so happens that certain religious folks, like nuns, are the ones most apt to commit to a humble life of service.
IMHO the arrogant and pompous pontificator person is not the person who recognizes this, but the one who is so sure that those religious folks are deluded and misguided that they feel free to make contemptuous jokes about these folks. All the while, it never dawns on them that most of these folks are doing far more to make the world a better place than they ever will come close to doing.
I specifically used pontificating to point out the pomposity of your response
As far as making the world a better place I’m sure some are and others are not, but the ones I’ve met that are actually making a positive difference have a sense of humor and don’t get all weird about being made fun of that goes for political leaders as well, I mean Pope Francis seems to be a likable guy laughs at some of this, yet I can see a Torquemada type getting all bent out of shape over this I mean this isn’t exactly blasphemy yet you are posting on a strip Club website, lighten up man the Rev is really a funny guy enjoy the laughter.
So congratulations rev, you've made it. After all of that, Nobody is more deserving of the title than you. 😉
If we put it to a vote I don't think Rev would even crack 5% to your 95% of who holds the title of King Douchebag. Your sole vote would earn him that 5%.
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