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Aduh! Banyak! (“More than a mouthful!”)

reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

I don’t consider myself an exceptional male specimen. I am not exceptionally tall. I am not unusually handsome. I’m certainly not memorably suave, debonair or romantic. My pecker is, so far as I know, of average length and girth. (I haven’t seen other men’s erect penises except in porn films and I just take it on faith that the men who appear in porn films are selected for their unusually robust cocks. They certainly aren’t selected for their acting abilities.)

There is one area in which I have been told repeatedly (at least by women who didn’t seem to mind the obvious implied statement about their vast sexual experience with men) that I produce an abnormally large amount of pre-cum dribble (“PCD”) and a huge amount of splooge.

Most women either don’t have that much experience with a variety of men to make that comparison, or if they do have that much experience, they are reluctant to admit it.

Mrs. Hornibastard #2 had been married once before when I married her. She was the only one of my wives who had significant prior experience with other men. She had remarked while we were still dating that I always spewed out far more splooge than her first husband did.

I just assumed there was something medically wrong with him.

When I was still new to Asia and enjoying late night massages lovingly performed by gorgeous and usually nude hotel spa masseuses in the privacy of my hotel room, I started hearing the women saying, “Aduh! Banyak sekali!”

I didn’t know at the time what “Aduh! Banyak sekali!” meant.

Eventually, I learned those words meant, “Wow! That’s a lot!” or, more poetically, Glug gak! That’s more than a mouthful!”

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=2100

It was a while before I realized that my output of PCD and splooge was out of the ordinary. But eventually, I did have several desploogination service professionals (they’re more willing than most women to be candid about their vast experience in these matters) remark in so many words that they rarely encounter a guy who splooges so much.

Their comments got me thinking. I had often noticed that those guys in the porn films (you know the ones, the guys with the enormously oversized cocks), seem to put out a rather dinky load of splooge in the money shots. I had always assumed their loads were tiny because they had already splooged so many times earlier that day during rehearsals.

When Dewi became a fixture in our home and in our sex lives, she commented to the woman who would eventually become Mrs. Hornibastard #3 that I splooged more than usual. I recall the future Mrs. Hornibastard #3 asking, “Betul? Berapa banyak?” (Really? How much more?” Dewi replied, “Banyak sekali! Ternyata dia tidak pernah kehabisan spermanyah!” (A lot more! He seems to never run out of sperm!”

Even in the USA, when I receive emergency desploogination services in a strip club, my desploogination service professional will often make some remark like, “Damn! How long have you been saving up this load?” or “How many children did you say you have?”

When I go in for multiple rounds in the same day (whether it is with the lovely Mrs. Hornibastard #3 or with a desploogination service professional), I usually don’t run low on splooge until round #4. But that doesn’t slow me down too much because even when Pink Floyd is reduced to having the dry heaves, I still manage to have a wonderful time.

While I must admit that I do feel proud of my ability to spew such copious amounts of splooge, I have thus far resisted the temptation to add this to my resumé.