A Top Ten List
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Most Canoodlings in a 24 Hour Period: On our first night together I nailed the woman who eventually became Mrs. Hornibastard #3 eight times. I wonder, does it count as running a train if you’re the only one but you nail your “bitch” 8 times?
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Longest Marathon Pussy Eating: I once treated Mrs. Hornibastard #3 to a 2-hour and 45 minute intimate tongue lashing. I couldn’t pronounce “Mississippi” properly until the following day! tuscl.net
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Most Intense Sex: This occurred in front of a roaring fireplace in a rustic but romantic, creekside cabin just north of Sedona, Arizona with (you guessed it) the woman who is now Mrs. Hornibastard #3.
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Most Women in My Bed at the Same Time: Four Women in Buenos Aires. I remember it was crowded but I don’t remember any of their names. I only fucked three of them. The fourth one just gave me a blow job. tuscl.net
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Best Blow Job: A sexy lady lawyer I knew in Houston whom I had just finished fucking a few minutes before gave me an awesome, long, slow blow job. I was so impressed with the blow job that, when she finished, I found it necessary to fuck her again.
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Most Women in One Day: Four women in Jakarta while I was there on business. Unlike the experience described in #4, these women never saw each other. It was a very busy day. As I recall, I think I just stayed home alone the next day eating a lot of Cheetos in front of the TV.
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Loudest Sex: A woman in Houston who I only dated once was by far the noisiest woman I ever got juicy with. We went to my place. It was a cool autumn night and I had the bedroom windows open. She was so noisy in bed that I found her very annoying. I also worried that my neighbors would assume I was butchering a woman in my home and would summon the police.
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Sweatiest Canoodling: This was with Sandy (the one who got away - tuscl.net ) on a summer night in Houston. The air conditioning was on but I guess we just became too exuberant.
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Sloppiest Sex: In Jakarta with Liah, my first major league squirter. At first I thought she had peed on me.
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Largest Audience: 8 or maybe 9 people in a night club in Buenos Aires, Argentina watched me bang a night club performer. I can’t really be sure how many were watching, I was so drunk at the time. This may someday become the subject of a post dedicated to that bizarre night.
A few sexual things I’ve never done:
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I never canoodled an underaged girl. When I was underaged myself I did try to canoodle some of my underaged girlfriends but didn’t score until we were both of legal age.
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I never got my buddies together to run a train on anyone. I did once accidentally run over my girlfriend’s pussy (cat) with my car. She forgave me after I got her a new one.
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I never had a threesome (or more) that involved any other men. I never wanted to and no woman ever asked me to engage in a threesome involving another man.
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I’ve used grapes, ice cubes, cucumbers and zucchini during foreplay but never tried olives (pitted or unpitted), marshmallows, Velveeta or caramel syrup.
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I’ve never gotten sticky with an Azeri but I’m not ruling it out.
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I’ve always had the greatest respect for barnyard animals and have never molested any (though I did wink at a cow once but only because she winked at me first).
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I’ve never juiced up a woman with tattoos. Although I don’t like tattoos, I am not fundamentally opposed to screwing a woman with a tattoo. I just never found it necessary to lower my standards on this point.
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As much time as I’ve spent on airplanes this is a little surprising, but I’ve never had sex on an airplane. I’ve done some high altitude groping and been groped at cruising altitude a few times but no actual fucking.
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Although I never had sex inside a school, I did get it on with a girlfriend in the back seat of my car in the school parking lot during lunch break.
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To the best of my knowledge and belief, I never fucked any Mormon chicks.
Rev, you are the definition of " over-sexed ". Do you keep a diary ? I can't remember these things with the detail you have.