n a few days I will go under the knife for what is referred to as a “minor medical procedure.” Some comedian, I can’t remember who, said a medical procedure is only minor when it is performed on somebody else.
I’m slowly coming around to that view.
I already went to the hospital for my pre-surgery medical evaluation and to fill out an ungodly number of largely repetitive forms about half of which seemed to have been prepared by health care professionals and the other half of which seemed to have been prepared by lawyers (some really crappy ones).
All this rigmarole seemed absurd especially given the de minimis nature of my medical problem. No one ever died from the medical problem that is currently making me so uncomfortable.
The very last form they gave me to fill out required me to indicate which service was most important to me. I could pick only one from a short list of services that included pain management, keeping me warm, keeping me informed and maintaining my privacy.
One important service was noticeably absent from the list. I asked why “keeping me alive” was not included among the available choices.
I received no cogent answer.
I offered to pay a little extra for the service of keeping me alive but it seemed that service was unavailable.
I told them that I certainly hoped their doctors are more competent than their lawyers who prepared those ridiculous forms.
They laughed (nervously).
