This is a common mistake. I’ve made it repeatedly.
For most men it’s almost a reflex. “Nobody messes with my woman (or women)!”
The average guy’s attitude is, “she remains mine until I say otherwise!”
It really doesn’t matter whether you love her or even want her anymore.
It’s as natural a male response as it is unreasonable and selfish.
I can’t remember how many times I worked hard to hang on to previous wives or girlfriends, persuading them to stick with me rather than striking out on their own or becoming involved with other men, probably better men than me, who would likely love them and care for them better than I ever did.
Often, after winning their continued loyalty I would kick myself for being so stupid. Why in the world had I just squelched a golden opportunity to be rid of a woman I had grown sick and tired of having around me all the time?
Why had I defused her opportunity to find happiness with someone else?
No good reason other than male pride, territoriality, possessiveness and remorseless selfishness.
It’s a terrible trait that I will probably retain until I die.
P.S. I’m not looking to unload any current women. I was just thinking about prior mistakes.
If you have to work hard to keep her around she already has one foot out the door. She's just waiting for that better man she can monkey branch to. As soon she has a chance with him she's gone. If she found him and she's still around she's probably cheating with him and expecting you to "work hard" for her.