Fat Fuckers Die Young!

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Medical advice often falls on deaf ears.

Most people hate listening to advice in general. They are particularly resistant to unsolicited health warnings delivered by people they don’t know, don’t trust and can’t relate to. What self-respecting, meat-loving, beer-swilling, Cheetos-chomping, cigar-sucking guy who hasn’t seen his feet or his pecker without the aid of a mirror since the Reagan administration is going to take seriously health advice delivered by a young, malnourished, Perrier-sipping vegan of indeterminate gender?

Ain’t gonna happen!

If the audience can’t relate to the person offering the unsolicited and often inconvenient health warnings, the pearls of medical wisdom will be totally wasted.

I’d like to see an anti-smoking TV ad featuring a tough-looking redneck in his early 50s who coughs, gasps and chokes on camera for 45 seconds, spitting up blood clots before tearfully sputtering about how badly he’d like just one last cigarette.

Imagine the graphic impact of a 450 pound, forty-something year old guy who is about to undergo open-heart quadruple by-pass surgery making a brief televised statement about the joys of greasy, bacon laden cheeseburgers. The lights go off as they put the anesthetic mask over his chubby face and then, as the lights come back on, we see the same guy with a distinctly blueish hue being zippered up into a black body bag while a gruff voice (like Sam Elliott’s) solemnly says, “Fat fuckers die young!”

I think THAT might get the message across!

16 comments

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gSteph
5 years ago
Yeah, agree with you on that.

I have a mid fifties old sister dying of (started in lungs) cancer.

Sucks big time.

Maybe her beautiful, smart (except on cigarettes) daughter will change in time.
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
gSteph,

Sorry to hear about your sister.

I have a younger brother who seems to be perversely proud of being massively overweight.

I don’t give him a hard time about it. He is intelligent and well educated. He knows the risks he is taking.

I just hope he survives his “wake up call.”
twentyfive
5 years ago
The real problem is that younger folks get the worst of it when there is a health catastrophe, when I say younger, I mean people under fifty, and the heart attacks, and strokes seem to be more severe in folks younger than fifty five, if you can stay in shape avoid the major risk factors, the survival rates rise each year after sixty five, until your mid eighties.
Cancer is a different topic, but smart people try to stay on the healthy side by avoiding bad habits that are detrimental to their health.
Sorry about your sister @gSteph, and @Rev you might try to get your younger brother some help, maybe get him to join a gym, and meet him once or twice a week to get him into a good habit, I did that with a friend and it worked well.
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
Can’t get my younger brother into a gym. He lives about 1,100 miles away.

Ironically, he is a regional food service manager for a company that owns and operates high end senior living centers across the country. So I’m certainly. he KNOWS a lot more about healthy eating than I ever will.

He likes to look on the bright side.

He says that being overweight and smoking will definitely take years off your life, but the years you lose are the ones at the end and they tend to be pretty shitty anyway.
twentyfive
5 years ago
What I would tell him if I had the chance is very simply, chances are good he survives his heart attack, but after wards he might need a wheelchair and an aide, his life won't look so good at that point, point out dick function will be minimal, and he prolly won't even be able to get a hard on,even if he gets a sponge bath from a hot young aide. To make matters worse his diet will be severely restricted, and as an invalid confined to a wheelchair he won't have a choice to what he eats or drinks, if he's able to afford to live in a high end senior living center.
Good luck with him.
Lone_Wolf
5 years ago
The real reason is the shit diet advice doctors, nutritionist's and the government gives.

With few exceptions it is impossible to loose weight eating three meals a day. Fat people hate being fat.

The population should be taught about intermittent fasting instead of the food pyramid.
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
I think a lot of our health problems arise from the food oriented American culture.

Eating is a form of recreation for many Americans.

I would know. I was born & raised in the USA.

On my very first international business trip, when I landed back on U.S. soil, walking through an airport terminal lined with fast food restaurants, I was immediately impressed with how incredibly many fat people there were.

I had never really noticed that before.

And I wasn’t returning even from a poverty ridden country where people struggle to get enough to eat.

I was returning from London.

Nidan111
5 years ago
My parents took a trip to Australia for a vacation one year. When they got back home, they commented on how easy it was to spot the Americans. We are all massively overweight compared to the Aussies.
Muddy
5 years ago
Couple fat guys that went to soon were John Candy and Patrice O’Neal. Love both of those guys. Patrice one of the most naturally funny dudes ever. And Candy seemed like such genuinely nice dude and was lovable as hell. I really miss those dudes.
JAprufrock
5 years ago
Oddly enough, mongering has contributed to my healthier lifestyle.
I was never “fat” but I was probably 20-25 pounds heavier than I needed to be when married. Had little motivation to lose weight because I felt I didn’t need to impress anyone.
After the marriage dissolved and I got back into the game, I was highly motivated to stay in the best shape possible and stand out among men in their mid-50s. Mission accomplished and I’m proud of it and determined to keep the weight off and make myself as appealing as possible to women, even though pros pretty much take guys in all shapes and sizes.
Wish I would have started sooner with the high-intensity workouts, but better late than never.
yahtzee74
5 years ago
Meh, why care? If that's the way they enjoy living life then let them have at it.
crazyjoe
5 years ago
Eat lots of fruit and veggies and shit a lot
reverendhornibastard
5 years ago
As my chubby brother once put it:

Eat well!

Stay fit!

Die anyway!
MackTruck
5 years ago
I am trying to gain weight. I am getting a BIF a butt in front. BIFs are sexy
MackTruck
5 years ago
You can never have too much ass
Prim0
5 years ago
On one hand I agree....people should try to be healthy. But some take it too far. What's the point in living if you have to give up everything you enjoy to live longer? And how much longer do you want to live....80, 90, 100 years? Have you looked at old people? They don't look like they are generally having a good time.

I've given up smoking, I don't drink as much as I used to.....I even eat more white meat than I used to. But to give up every vice in an attempt to avoid health issues can go too far as well. Shit, how would it be if you did everything right, had perfect health and then got run over by a fucking bus tomorrow!

Live your life.
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