Pranking My Wives

Mrs. Hornibastard #2 was the very prim and proper, conservative WASP type. Why she ever agreed to marry an incorrigible reprobate like me is a mystery.

She must have been desperate.

But I thought her conservative, proper WASP ways made her the perfect target for a prank.

Needless to say, I couldn’t resist.

I started pranking her while we were dating. I truly loved the look of surprise and bewilderment flashing in her pretty green eyes.

Despite my abuse, she stuck with me.

The first time I pranked her we were in bed. I had been dining at the Y and had then began plowing her furrow vigorously. Just as she seemed about to explode I suddenly stopped, hopped off her, grabbed the remote and jumped in front of the TV exclaiming that “I almost forgot I was planning to watch the football game!”

She sat up in bed looking confused and disappointed for a while before she realized I was just toying with her.

Once, when I was at the reception desk checking us in at a foo-foo seaside Caribbean resort, I suddenly turned to her and said in a voice loud enough to be heard by other hotel guests waiting to check in, “I sure hope your husband doesn’t find out about this!”

By then, she knew my pranking habits but that didn’t stop her from feeling mortified in front of all the other hotel guests. She exclaimed, “You are my husband!” Then turning to the other guests she tried to convince them saying, “He is my husband! He is my husband!”

The crowd looked amused but some were clearly skeptical.

I wouldn’t try to pull that any shit like that with Mrs. Hornibastard #3. She is too smart. If I said something like “I hope your husband doesn’t find out about this” as we were checking into a hotel, she would shoot back with something like “I hope your boyfriend doesn’t find out about us!”