Comments by rickthevulture (page 3)

Applebee’s? Last time I entered an Applebee’s I asked for 3-day old possum and nice Chianti. They ask me to leave. No class assholes. Squawk!

She was a real disappointment to the ricks. She started out with potential and was building an armadillo pen using Home Depot purchases funded by grifting that old loser. Once she released those armadillos it would be armadillo smorgasbord for this rick. Alas, she went downhill and began doing meth and licking pit bull balls. Sad. She could have been a vulture’s whore instead. Squawk!

Watch it Sir Laps. If you don’t mind your place my lion bud will go all wildebeest on your ass. Then it’s three days in the sun and you’ll be yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy! Squawk!

Potato salad is gross. Just kill something like a possum or armadillo or a moronic hairless ape an let it sit by the side of the road for a few days. Pickles or no pickles it’ll be yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy! Squawk!!!

Hell, there was this one time I was hanging with Juice and I gave him a bit of roadkill possum. Most of you apes turn up your noses at roadkill. Even dugan, the smartest hairless ape on the planet, refuses to eat roadkill. But what did Juice do? He put some possum guts on his BBQ sandwich, put on some nice sauce, and chowed down. PURE CLASS!!! Most of you apes aren’t fit to lick Juice’s taint!!! Squawk!!!

^^^ Don’t be looking down on Juice. Juice is a good ape! The last time I hung out with Juice we shared a bottle of Louis XIII (as a rick I have access to the top shelf) and he ate fries and a sausage and peppers sub while I snacked on armadillo. When I told Juice that the armadillo was extra classy because it was roadkill from a Tesla driven by myself, dugan, and our bud the lion you know what he said? “It looks good!” Most apes don’t have the class to say that three-day old armadillo looks good. But he realized that, as a vulture, I roll with the rotting food. That Juicey ape is pure class! Squawk!

You tell them rick my friend. Hunting is easier with wounded prey! Of course, as a big black vulture, I am into the road kill when I get dinner. But I do like to give sexy female hairless apes a little of my beak. How about the two of us tag team the hot mess rick my bud! Squawk! Squawk!

Tell me about it. You apes are so uptight it is just sad. If I go into a bar I expect some people to be eating food that hasn’t been rotting in the sun at all. Many species like to eat fresh food, including some of the best ricks like the lion, the shark, and the dugan. But they don’t judge me for liking food the way I like it. I went into a bar and ordered a jack and coke with a five-day old road-killed armadillo. The proprietor asked me to leave. Can you believe a businessman would ask a paying customer who just wanted a dinner and drink to leave? And a rick no less! Squawk! The lion, the bear, and I tracked him down and went wildebeest on his ass. Five days later he was yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy! Squawk!

Testify rick my friend. After the old and infirm become lion chow they can sit in the sun a few days until they’re good and ripe. Then they’re yummy yummy yummy in my vulture tummy tummy tummy! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!

I’ve got to chime in here now that I see rickdugan’s honor and veracity being impugned. ricks are the top of the food chain and the top of the intelligence chain. Don’t you ever forget that rickdugan is the smartest hairless ape ever born. He may be a damn dirty ape but he is our damn dirty ape - the smartest ape there is! Listen to him or get the wildebeest treatment from my lion bud. Squawk!

Can you imagine a hairless ape-black vulture hybrid? That would be one ugly kid. Unless the vulture traits dominated. I hate to denigrate anybody but you apes really are inferior. Can you fly on thermals? Not without a glider you can’t. You don’t see us vultures building devices to do things you apes can do but you apes build gliders to be like us. Sad. But your females are great. I love degrading them by paying them to like my cloaca until they drink my hot vulture jizm. Fun times. Squawk!

I was a little scared when I saw an egg come out of a dancer’s vagina on stage. I didn’t think ape-vulture crosses were viable but you never know. Then I realized it was a ping-pong ball and not an egg! I was relieved to see that. Dodged a real bullet there. Squawk!

Did they at least leave the body to decay by the roadside? It takes a few days of decomposition for hairless ape to become appetizing for vultures. We vultures need the yummy yummy yummy in the tummy tummy tummy Feed the vultures! Black vulture lives matter! Squawk!

I don’t care about eye contact with damn dirty apes. When I go to the club it is beak in vagina time! Squawk!

Give the other hairless apes your insights rick my friend. Many of them do realize that you are the smartest hairless ape on the planet! Squawk!

I often dine near the edge of the road. Usually armadillos. Sometimes possum. You hairless apes should stop burying your dead. Leave them to rot in the sun by the side of the road. Then they can be yummy yummy yummy in a vulture’s tummy tummy tummy! Black vulture lives matter. Squawk!

Clubber, you do realize that most birds don’t have a penis. Penises are kind of gross. Stupid ricktheemu is so proud of his penis. And at least his corkscrews respectably. Not all straight like your ape penises. Squawk! The cloaca rules! Squawk! Squawk!

I like to insert my beak into hairless ape vagina. Squawk!

But not me. As a member of the council of ricks I have a duty to fuck hairless ape whores. Perhaps my bud ralphthevulture. He’s kind of milquetoast! I’d like to point him to a sexy hairless ape that likes to lick cloaca. Squawk!

She should dump that zero and get herself a hero! A hero vulture that is. Squawk!

What kind of cum do you prefer? A. Vulture B. Lion C. Bear D. Manatee E. Hairless ape Squawk! Squawk!

Unfortunately the editors removed the best part of the article: when "Holly" revealed that her best day was the time when she met a lion in a suit with a vulture in a suit perched on his shoulder. My lion bud and I had fun with that slut. He fucked her with his BSLC while she licked my cloaca and ate my vulture cum. Good times! Squawk!

That's what the dumbass paparazzi get when they bug rickthebear. My buddy frankthevulture was there when that happened. He said the dumbass hairless ape was yummy yummy yummy in his tummy tummy tummy. Squawk!

You are on our list Dougster. Some day you will look over your shoulder and see a lion wearing a suit. He will be carrying an AK. And he'll have a vulture wearing a suit on his shoulder. Then you'll hear a word that chills you to the bone. Wildebeest! Roar! ...cough...cough... Squawk!

You damn dirty apes and your race issues. Shaking my damn head. Squawk!