tuscl

Woman Buys A Parrot

shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
A woman goes to buy a parrot, the prices are $200, $100 and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheep.

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new hookers!" The girls laughs too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

9 comments

  • Clubber
    •
    6 years ago
    Then there was the man that wanted a talking parrot to spy on his wife. The shopkeeper showed him 3 parrots priced at $200, $100 and $15. When ask why the one so so cheap, the shopkeeper said he has no legs. So the fellow asks, how does he sit on a perch. The shopkeep replies that he wraps his dick around the perch. The man figures he'll work fine and save some bucks at the same time.

    So he takes the parrot home and tells him, when I go to work in the morning, watch what my wife does and report back to me when I get home.

    The fellow gets home and goes right to the parrot and asks what happened. "The parrot says, "As soon as you left some man comes in the back door." Guy says, "I just knew it. So what happened then?" "Well they both take off all their clothes." Guy says, "I just knew it. And then?" "Well they start feeling each other and kissing like crazy!" Guy says, "I just knew it." Guys asks, " What happens next?" The parrot replies, "I don't know. I got a hardon and fell off the perch!"
  • rickthevulture
    •
    6 years ago
    Clubber, you do realize that most birds don’t have a penis. Penises are kind of gross. Stupid ricktheemu is so proud of his penis. And at least his corkscrews respectably. Not all straight like your ape penises. Squawk!

    The cloaca rules! Squawk! Squawk!
  • twentyfive
    •
    6 years ago
    This reminds me of another parrot joke

    This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness." The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask - what did the chicken do?"
  • MackTruck
    •
    6 years ago
    Lol
  • joc13
    •
    6 years ago
    @25 best laugh in weeks!
  • nicespice
    •
    6 years ago
    Smash all these parrot like buttons.
  • Liwet
    •
    6 years ago
    "foul vocabulary"

    In a joke about birds you couldn't have gone with the obvious.
  • TheeOSU
    •
    6 years ago
  • Clubber
    •
    6 years ago
    Thee,

    Shailyn's is the Cliffs Notes version.
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