Woman Buys A Parrot
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new hookers!" The girls laughs too.
When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
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So he takes the parrot home and tells him, when I go to work in the morning, watch what my wife does and report back to me when I get home.
The fellow gets home and goes right to the parrot and asks what happened. "The parrot says, "As soon as you left some man comes in the back door." Guy says, "I just knew it. So what happened then?" "Well they both take off all their clothes." Guy says, "I just knew it. And then?" "Well they start feeling each other and kissing like crazy!" Guy says, "I just knew it." Guys asks, " What happens next?" The parrot replies, "I don't know. I got a hardon and fell off the perch!"
The cloaca rules! Squawk! Squawk!
This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness." The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask - what did the chicken do?"
In a joke about birds you couldn't have gone with the obvious.
Shailyn's is the Cliffs Notes version.