discussion comment
14 years ago
Welcome to a great hobby.
$260 is a little more than you needed to spend that night, but in perspective, you weren't out too muich for getting hustled and burned a little.
We've all been newbies. We've all been weak at one time or another. We've all used poor judgment from time to time. But I think we're all smarter for it and with this community we can share what we've learned.
Rick said it very succinctly: 'stay calm, stay in control and never forget you are in the jungle when you are clubbing.'
Common mistakes: double dances, letting a dancer get you too emotional over her problems, getting sucked into tag team routines, not recognizing dancers in general will always try to finagle that last dollar or $20 bill from you.
Dancers have antenae for weakness, vulnerability and lack of control. My advice in these newbie/hustled/been played threads is
-- always stay in control.
Have a budget,
Use good judgment.
Don't respond to stripper shit trying to be a good guy.
Save the good guy stuff for when you can verify the story is for real and you will be rewarded for being good.
REsearch "stripper shit" on here, iot's very enlightening.
discussion comment
14 years ago
If you read my posts, you know how I feel about being selective about giving out or taking phone numbers unless you know for sure. It just depends on how well you know a dancer. In the past 24 hours I've been texted by two dancers who want to hook up. Is it still Thanksgiving?
(Well, no, it's actually build-up-the-Christmas Club-budget time.) Update, now three.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Whatever you end up trying, respect her privacy IRL. Otherwise, you will blow any chance of credibility.
discussion comment
14 years ago
$100-$200 for JUST lapdances, w/o any happy endings or extras is overspending, epecially if you spread it around.
Where I go most often, I can be very "happy" with spending $80-$100. At places with extras, $80, $100, $150, depenging on venue.
And what possible motivation would a girl have to meet you outside the club if you're paying her up to $200 inside the club? Well, you simply stop paying her that and tell her you prefer something else. If she wants to make money, she'll let you know.
discussion comment
14 years ago
GMD, re: 'not carpet to munch': I guess it's more like the difference between commercial grade carpet, plush and shag.
The buffet at Sundowners in Niagara Falls used to be good. Haven't been there lately.
Some local "wanabe" clubs have experimented with late afternoon buffets. All stopped.
The downtown Cleve no-touch club (why give them any more top-of-mind-awareness than that) usually has a large afternoon/early evening bribe buffet. Don't take the bribe.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Tell her what you're paying for. If she doesn't agree, you can always leave.
discussion comment
14 years ago
We're here because we like the stuffing, right?
discussion comment
14 years ago
Female bouncers? Probably a house mom pressed into bouncer duty. Female dance monitor = red flag in my book. Women rat out more than men.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Operative words are she approaches a patron "before (he) got cut off." I bet if we stood in the back of a few clubs and observed carefully, we might see this happen a lot. Always think with your big head not your litle head. Too much buzz makes the little head think its smarter.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Maybe we can help balance Ohio's budget by encouraging de-funding the enforcement of this stupid law when real crimes are ignored or given less attention.
Gov-Elect Kasich, we've found you something to cut that won't hurt anyone. Doubt that he would be reading this, but I bet a staffer might.
Anyone know of how much state money is being funneled to undercover state and local police on this folly?
discussion comment
14 years ago
The same thing has happened to me. Getting a long-time-no-see hug by a dancer who knows you when you enter an otherwise strange club is like getting the stripper notary public to certify that you are a trustworthy customer, not LE or a perv.
There's a club some distance across town from me that I've started visiting maybe once a month. When I started I didn't know a soul. But one day, I found two dancers who knew me from another club. They hugged me like Steve described, then we partied at my table and I took both of them to the private dance room on separate days. After those two encounters the day manager now recognizes me and shakes my hand when I show up and the other dancers are suddenly friendlier and now try to get into my wallet. I'm working on some entry myself.
discussion comment
14 years ago
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rickduganVerified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Harry, I interview and try to fnd the wild ones too. The interview is part of the hunt which is an adventure itself, I agree. Take it to the limit.
discussion comment
14 years ago
MarkShadow, sometimes there's an absence of energy in a club that makes a visit on off day somewhat like a sports team that has a bad game. The players complete the game but every spectator and analyst knows that they have played better games. It's the same with strip clubs and that's why sometimes it can get boring. Now maybe that's not what Sharkhunter had in mind with his question, but that's my take on it.
Sometimes I read my mood wrong go more for escape after a busy day at work and other times I might go more for fun. There's a big difference with the latter being the best reason to go and the former sometimes resulting in poor outcomes (in those cases probably self-driven).
If it's boring and it doesn't look like anything will change, I exchange a few pleasantries with the bartender, finishs my drink and leave. Maybe the club down the road will be better or the next visit to this club might be better.
Sometimes I try to make something happen like you suggest, but there are two parts to that equation, and if I make the effort but the whole dancer crew is in a funk, I just leave.
discussion comment
14 years ago
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rickduganVerified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Rick, I like your attitude about it. You know what you like, you have a style and it works for you.
And I agree with everyone who says there is nothing better than test driving in a club or making our choices there with the corresponding teasing and flirting vs. a remote service that may or may not be reliable, how much better can we tee this up? It beats the alternative every time for me as a total experience.
Re suits. I stopped wearing them to strip clubs several years ago as a way to set myself apart from certain types of customers who I knew the dancers were typecasting in a negative way (a one-time thing, not a universal observation). I didn't want that to happen to me and I've been happy with the results ever since.
Giving up the suit has also enabled me to avoid being perceived as a big spenders. I prefer to be perceived as a consistent spender so dancers know what they can expect from me and inversely me from them. Over time I build real relationships, make certain investments and get reliable interest on those investments. Not that this is best for everybody, it's just working well for me right now.
discussion comment
14 years ago
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rickduganVerified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
I get a little wery of lap dances too but not to the extent Rick describes. Too much gravity-driven grinding--bad, hopping up and down--forget it, airdance--I'll never see you again. It has made me very selective (and instructive with the right pupil).
But, as GMD, I like the lap dance so I too can grope, er, I mean explore the fine features of her beautiful body, find interesting places and maybe a place that excites her too...all while finding where her limits are--with my ultimate goal being to get her to exceed those limits. I may not do it on the first dance, but I will eventually if there is followup. And she better know how to drive or I'm not coming back (see other discussion).
And Rick, I still like to end up where you do, I just have different thrills in my journey.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Talking of Amish dancers brings back memories of the movie "Witness," in which the Philly cop tracks a murderer witness to Scranton, PA, Amish country where he encounters the famous boobs of Kelly McGinness. I'm an ass man, but those were yummy. OK, she wasn't really Amish, but who cares.
Troop, I've heard the stories of how the young Amish get to play the field, sowing their wild oats before they take the "plain" road. Maybe they need some guides along the way?
Samsung: "shifting....as common as grinding in Cleveland"--if the dancers want to make money it is.
discussion comment
14 years ago
I agree, bad name.
Maybe a better name woudl be something like...Boners. That might be more comforting to her.
discussion comment
14 years ago
LOL, Amish! ...but don't they "bundle" at a young age? Seems they could learn something from that!
discussion comment
14 years ago
To borrow a Bill Clinton political phrase, "it's the economy, stupid."
While I've seen the same mix of reasons cited by the previous posters, the driving factors seems to be 'no other choice" or even "desparation," resulting from losing a job, mounting bills and obligations and not enough good paying jobs for lower skilled workers.
I've observed that some of that desparation comes from bad choices earlier in life, such as hooking up with loser men and drug habits.
Then there are the few who simply see big bucks and cash flow and make a choice driven by maintaining a lifestyle reached by their add-on revenue.
I've known some dancers who do everything they can to keep their work a secret from family and friends--for example, one dancer I knew drove 1 1/2 hours to work when she had choices closer to home.
I've heard others proudly say what they do, it's their job--"don't bother me or judge me for what I choose to do" etc.
In between are the regretfuls, who seem to be stuck and wish they could be doing something else. They might try to hide what they do from most people, but seem resigned to the fact when it's discovered.
It's work, it's business.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Here's another measure to take into consideration. What's the balance in this relationship? Are you giving more than you are getting? If yes, then beware. If it's about equal, then enjoy it as long as it's confortable. Just be careful and don't develop unrealistic expectations.
Remember, as Clubber says, part of your relationship could be considered a "secret life" and that means this is not a normal relationship, no matter what you think.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Good; thread. I like what Shadowcat and Doug say. Both approaches work. I skew more toward Shadowcat's in assertiveness, but longterm I go for the trust aspect that Doug talks about. Trust brings you a lot of benefits.
It's a simple process: interview, test the limits, revisit or never again.
discussion comment
14 years ago
My experience, take the invitation. She'll let you know if you're wrong. Start with a little finger tease back and pick it up from there to see how far it goes.
If you know this dancer, be more assertive with your followup. If she's new to you or you're new to the club, take it more cautiously, showing a little respect so-to-speak, but still make a reciprocal move.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Run into this alot too. I think they are just Moms at home doing a lot of dishes, i.e., dispan hands.
discussion comment
14 years ago
but the same shirt = buy the same shirt.
discussion comment
14 years ago
Oh, forgot to mention, when the stripper cries on your shoulder that her boyfriend is screwing another stripper, it's time to offer her some sympathy/revenge sex to make her feel better.