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reverendhornibastard

Posts

228 posts by reverendhornibastard

Front Room

Addressing the Kiwi in the Room

In case you missed it, IceyLoco, that paragon of erudition, social justice and political correctness, held a press conference today. At the press conference, attended only by his mama and his pet parakeet), Dr. Loco put on display a…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 4

Front Room

The Importance of Math When Searching for a New Main Bitch

Some genius (I don’t remember whether it was Newton or Einstein), determined that for most men the ideal age of a female companion is equal to half his age + 7. That formula generally has worked pretty well for me…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 23

Front Room

The Horror of Hair Pollution!

Men have plenty to worry about. They are expected to put meat on the table, keep a roof over their family’s heads, pay for medical costs, clothing costs, educational expenses, buy and maintain automobiles, cover the costs of an…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 17

Front Room

A Prescient Barber Predicted My Golden Era

Barbers often get chatty while they cut your hair. Some barbers regard lively chatter an essential part of the barbershop experience that they must provide to keep their customers happy. When I was in my late 30s I went to…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 8

Front Room

Will Somebody Please Comment on Icey ‘s Posts?

The sound of crickets chirping on those posts kept me awake last night. https://www.tuscl.net/app/discussion.php?id=65518 https://www.tuscl.net/app/discussion.php?id=65525

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 3 9

Front Room

How Did You React When You Were First Told About Sex?

I remember the day my dad decided to burden me with the ugly truth about how babies are made. I was 10 years old at that time. Immediately after breakfast my dad asked me to join him in…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 31

Front Room

A Solution to Racism

Racism is a poisonous brew. It should be eliminated. I have a suggestion: Let’s bring back the miscegenation laws! Only this time, instead of prohibiting miscegenation, let’s make it mandatory! The benefits are obvious. First, miscegenation can be loads…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 16

Front Room

Power & Division Among Mongers

The denizens of TUSCL have drawn the battle lines. Both sides think they cornered the market on wisdom while the others are juvenile posers some of whom have very obviously never even set foot in a strip club. Conspiracies to…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 43

Front Room

My Idea of a True Hottie

Meet Amy Mainzer, https://m.imgur.com/gallery/sHG7Z She is an American astronomer, specializing in astrophysical instrumentation and infrared astronomy. She is the Deputy Project Scientist for the Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer and the Principal Investigator for the NEOWISE project to study minor planets and…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 37

Front Room

Going Metric

I’ve always regarded rating women on a scale of one to ten to be a pathetic and sophomoric practice. It is both demeaning to women and appallingly imprecise. I prefer the Helen of Troy beauty scale. Using the vastly more…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 21

Front Room

A Victim of Sexual Child Abuse

I lost my virginity at age 16 as a victim of sexual child abuse. My “abuser” was a 26 year old woman who had hired me to mow her lawn. At the time, I certainly didn’t feel abused. I…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 5

Front Room

The Attraction of Men Who Treat Women Badly

It doesn’t make any sense to me and I never would have predicted this, but I many women are attracted to a lying, serial cheating man. I am not as badly behaved as I used to be. Some who know…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 34

Front Room

Dingleberries!

A new health menace is sweeping rapidly across the nation, insidiously threatening Americans in all walks of life. It is a malady so revolting and cringeworthy that no one wants to acknowledge much less discuss it openly. There are…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 5

Front Room

How Do You Come Across in a Strip Club?

I sometimes had a difficult time getting the attention of the dancers I want in a strip club. Whether I was wearing dressy clothes or casual clothes, I often felt that I was being ignored but couldn’t figure out why.…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 40

Front Room

Splooge Countdown - a Late Night XXX-Rated Reality TV Show

A few years ago I contributed a story about an idea for a late-night, XXX-rated reality TV show called “Splooge Countdown.” I initially posted it on a blog site that is no longer in operation. My blog at…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 5

Front Room

A 700 Pound Gasoline-Powered Vibrator

It’s springtime so once again I’ve got the bug. I’m seriously considering the purchase of a brand new 2019 Harley Davidson Fat Boy (114). https://www.harley-davidson.com/us/en/motorcycles/2019/softail/fat-boy/detailed-specs-and-pricing.html I had a Fat Boy once before. One of my girlfriends at that time referred to it…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 4

Front Room

The Variable Mileage Curse

I occasionally read a post on TUSCL wherein a monger confesses wanting to give up mongering once and for all. Aspiring to defect from the mongering hordes is a courageous thing to admit on this site where many deluded pretenders…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 14

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Vignettes: When Civvies Behave Like Strippers

For most of us the appeal of strip clubs is that they play to our fantasy of having a beautiful, sexy woman who we don’t even know behave like she is desperate to get us undressed and to lovingly drain…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 17

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Sometimes the Sexiest Women Are the Ones You CAN’T See

Women around the world work hard to get our attention. They shave their legs, their pits and (some of them) their koochies. They spend lots of time and money on their hair and their makeup. Women put themselves on display…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 7

Front Room

Uncle Joe Biden - The Sniff Test

Joe Biden has been criticized for standing behind a woman, leaning forward and smelling her hair. It is said that Biden “violated the woman’s personal space.” Good God Almighty! Next thing you know it will be considered “inappropriate” to politely sniff a…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 8

Front Room

My Doppelgänger is Having More Fun Than I Am!

I had a very odd conversation with a stripper recently. I had just entered the club and taken a seat as she was getting off the stage. She seemed to be in a hurry to join me. Ordinarily I…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 9

Front Room

Today is International Peepee Day!

That’s right, boys and girls! Today is international peepee day! On this date in 1957 I discovered my peepee! I’ve been like a kid with a new toy ever since. Later today I’m going to one of my favorite clubs…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 10

Front Room

Hiding in the Shadows

I live in a large metropolitan area that is home to over 6 million people and is anywhere from 55 to 95 miles across depending on which axis you measure it. When I go clubbing with my pants bulging with…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 30

Front Room

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift for a Scumbag

I have a great wife! She’s the best (so far)! I’ve had several wives including some whose reigns overlapped by a few years. Plus, I’ve had other guys’ wives. But I digress. This year my wife gave me…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 5

Front Room

Just need Info

I understand what “LDK” means but I don’t know that words those 3 letters stand for? What is it? Living, Dining, Kitchen? Linux Development Kit? Legendary Dark Knight? Lemon Drop Kid?

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 23
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