The Attraction of Men Who Treat Women Badly
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I am not as badly behaved as I used to be. Some who know me think I’m getting older and wiser. They’re only half right. I am getting older but not wiser. If I still had as much luck with the ladies as I did 20 or 30 years ago, I’m pretty sure I’d behave as badly now as I ever did. But in the old days trouble had a way of seeking me out. Now, if I want to get into trouble I have to work so much harder to find it than I did during my Golden Era!
I still behave badly but I’ve definitely slowed down some.
Back when I was a non-stop, serial cheater I made no secret of my bad behavior. My girlfriends and my wives (some of whose tenures as my wife overlapped by almost a decade) were well aware of my lack of self control. My wives all believed (or tried to believe) that I had reformed by ways and became better behaved once I married them. How they could believe this is beyond me.
Women have a phenomenal capacity for denial.
Over the years I kept several online blogs. These included “The Gospel According to Reverend Hornibastard” and “All You Need Is Lust.” These blogs were a silly mix of political and religious satire with a heavy dose of confessions about my outrageous behavior, past, present and planned.
I thought it was very strange that my readership was overwhelmingly female. Most appeared to be normal, conservative, homespun suburban women but they seemed to relish reading about my constant infidelities. Many sought to make contact with me despite knowing next to nothing about the real me.
When women asked about me or requested a personal photo I always sent them a photo of the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
For whatever reason, many women love “a bad boy” (until they make the mistake of marrying one).
Just ask any of my ex-wives.
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For me, a childhood of unstable and very conditional love—giving way to develop serious abandonment issues. And thus easily falls for the personality types who come already ready to be extremely personally validating and who also pushes the relationship forward quickly.
But of course these are the personality types who also later display a controlling aspect to them. And I placate and kowtow to them, until I get emotionally drained and then will proceed with cutting ties in a very absolute manner.
Merp.
I started cheating on my second wife on our honeymoon (she never found out).
I can’t explain my behavior. I was a late bloomer and was very shy around women until I was in my twenties. If it hadn’t been for sexually aggressive women I might have remained a virgin deep into my twenties.
Then something happened and I went to the other extreme.
Can’t really explain it.
Seems to me that strippers are exposed to violence more than the woman in the civilian population and that accepting violent behavior is a pattern that starts in childhood with abusive parenting. It's hard to overcome the programming that you get as a child. I wrote the other day about a stripper SB from 2015 that fit that description. Her BF beat her unconscious. She ended up the hospital, and she has partial hearing loss on one side. Getting to know her she would tell stories about physical abuse growing up.
Caviar of the sex industry? This is the kind of sadness you'll find in strip clubs and why I vastly prefer going online. Yes, there are many exceptions on both sides.
I agree. My impression is that strippers often have experiences more than their fair share of violence.
There are very few absolute rules in life, including here. As a general matter, however, I think most people seek relationships where the parties are equal (they may keep seeking after they are in a relationship). Everyone gets bored pretty quickly with someone who doesn’t respect themself. There’s no challenge. No interest. No reason to be at your best because you know your subordinate partner will never grow a set and leave you. If you are in a relationship where you aren’t equals, you keep seeking and that may end up in cheating. Again, no absolutes.
Adding to this is a self-perception problem. Most people think they deserve better than what they have so they continually aim high. If they succeed and ‘outkick the coverage’ they wind up putting up with a bunch of BS because they think they are in the best relationship they will ever have. I was in such a relationship and I was desperate to keep it going long past its expiration date. Those were dark, humiliating times and in the long run helped me grow and make myself a better person and thereby move myself up a notch and find an even better partner. I don’t think my experience is unusual. Everyone has to get burned a time or two to grow.
Equivalence is also the reason why people who think they can be the nice guy, holding doors, cooking meals, doing everything and asking nothing in return will always get crushed. This is usually the naïveté of youth.
If you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone respect you? That’s what puts people in a series of similar, unhealthy relationships. It won’t change until you do.
I envied them.
i was physically faithful (until the age of 61) to her.
now i find it impossible to be faithful at all.
Very true. Danger has appeal. To grossly strereotype women, bad boys are sexy and once they start fucking a bad boy they fall in love or get knocked up.
I've been a good boy and a bad boy and have had way hotter sex as the latter. And I've lavished girls with attention before and also barely had time to fuck girls. Guess which ones start chasing me and offering more and more filthy behaviors to try to catch my attention?
“Guess which ones start chasing me and offering more and more filthy behaviors to try to catch my attention?”
No doubt the women who loved you but felt insecure of their status in your life were the ones who worked hardest to keep your attention.
You see the same pattern with many women. When you’re just dating they can’t find enough ways to endear themselves to you. But once you marry them, they no longer find it necessary to treat you regally (especially if you’re being nice to them).
That being clarified and now back to the thread at hand, the women that I hang around simply do not put up with bad behavior bullshit. They will kick ass if they are hit and they will leave the guy in the dust if they cheat against agreed upon terms. Those terms are usually something on the order of both having their sexual space and not informing the other of the acts so long as both are home to love each other. They can actually separate the sex act from the loving acts that may include sex. And, they can cut it off with the toy (boy toy or side bitch) in a heart beat. This is not swinger type because they do not “share” each other. They simply give one another space. I guess more of an open type relationship, but not. Hard to explain.
With my ex, as long as she felt jealous of my side bitches and afraid I'd leave her, our relationship was perfect. She was the perfect girlfriend... Things went downhill when she realized how much I love her and treated her like a queen. She started taking me for granted when she didn't fear losing me. And with that just changed...she felt like she didn't have to try anymore.
Now that she sees I'm fucking other people, she's back to catching feelings....
Stripper 1 - One of my ex's best friends, she's all over me coz she wants what my ex had. The more I talk to her about my ex the harder she tries. When I ignore her, she tries even harder.
Stripper 2 - 18 year old who acts like a puppy....affectionate, does tricks so I can reward her, always wants to be around me. Knows about the others I fuck and it makes her try harder. If I ignore her she starts apologizing.
Stripper 3 - The sugar baby I had a thread about, she knows about the others and acts like she'd cut them, lol Very clingy, jealous of everyone.
Stripper 4 - Not much of a personality but gorgeous. I fuck her and then ignore her and she does her best to get my attention. The more of an asshole I am the more she wants me.
The more of a bad boy you are, the more bad shit you do the more they want you. The ideal is a girl who wants you to be an asshole to everyone but her. But before you get there, a lot of them like a challenge and especially if they see other girls wanting you. Plus young girls love drama!!!
This is the sort of crap that fairy tales are made of.
and that kind of abuse and craving it or at least accepting it, stems from childhood and a history of some kind of abuse
Humans are not as wise or intelligent as we would like to believe. We share 98% of our chromosomes with chimpanzees.
Sometimes it really shows.
Mother Nature fucks with their heads, and contraceptives are the man made pills that tricks them into thinking they’re pregnant.
So if women get off birth control they won't like badboys?
LMFAO
Coz it can't possibly be linked to childhood trauma, viewing and experiencing violent behavior in the family and or poor parenting
The only things missing are the tiki torches and chants about how “Jews will not replace us!”
As I said before, we share 98% of our chromosomes with chimpanzees and, too often, it really shows.