I lost my virginity at age 16 as a victim of sexual child abuse.
My “abuser” was a 26 year old woman who had hired me to mow her lawn.
At the time, I certainly didn’t feel abused. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.
But I was young, naïve and I fell in love with the bitch. Later, after she got run out of town, I eventually realized that I was nothing special to her. I was just one of many under-aged boys she was taking advantage of.
I was crushed. As I matured and better understood what had happened to me, I began to hate this woman and to see her as a cruel, heartless abuser. She was always in total control. With her superior maturity and experience, she played me like a fiddle with no concern for my feelings or the consequences.
Looking back on it now I believe she was fucking under-aged boys because she was intimidated by grown men but felt she could control and dominate young boys.
This episode screwed me up for years. After that, the young girls appropriate for my age held no interest for me. I wanted another 26 year old woman who could do triple duty as mommy, girlfriend and sex teacher. But do you have any idea how difficult it is for a 16 year old boy to win the sexual affections of a woman in her mid- to late-twenties?
I struck out constantly and became very shy and withdrawn for almost 10 years.
I truly hate that woman now.
Fortunately for both of us, I never saw her again.
