The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift for a Scumbag

Feb 15, 2019, 12:56 PM

reverendhornibastard

Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

I have a great wife!

She’s the best (so far)!

I’ve had several wives including some whose reigns overlapped by a few years.

Plus, I’ve had other guys’ wives.

But I digress.

This year my wife gave me the perfect Valentine’s Day gift: a pair of nice looking black pants made of fabric that is wonderfully soft, thin and smooth. They are precisely what I had been looking for ever since I donated my last pair of pervert pants to Goodwill.

I haven’t been out to a club wearing my new pervert pants yet but I did try them on commando last night.

They’re going to be marvelous!

My sweet, wonderful wife has no idea why these pants were such an excellent gift for me.

She doesn’t know what a scumbag she’s married to.

comments (5)

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Warrior156 years ago

Hilarious. What does your wife say when she sees the stains ? I take my own clothes to the dry cleaners. I'm not sure what the dry cleaners think of me.

twentyfive6 years ago

And she does the laundry what more could a scumbag want, maybe she’ll make you a sammich;)

flagooner6 years ago

You wash them?

I'm a bit superstitious. I don't wash them until I have a SC visit without an LDK. Washing them would be like a serial killer throwing away his trophies.

Warrior156 years ago

flag, that might be why other PLs don't want to sit near you.

reverendhornibastard6 years ago

Responding to Warrior15 ...

My wife hasn’t seen the stains and, God willing, she never will.

I send my clothes out to the dry cleaner.

Fortunately, my wife has never asked me why it is that the dry cleaners send out a crew in Hazmat protective gear to pick up my laundry.