Posts by reverendhornibastard

I’m not gay and I’m not from California, but once every five years I take it up my tailpipe in the name of love. I really hate doing it but about 10 years ago when my kids were just infants,…

When I was of draft age the Vietnam War was underway but America was already reducing its presence. My parents, worried that their first born would go to Vietnam and come home in a box, counseled me to be prepared…

A GUIDE BY REVEREND HORNIBASTARD Ever since Icey Loco was chased off TUSCL discussion boards by its members there has been a paucity of sage advice on how to entice a woman into bed and fuck her or regarding the rules…

Before you reach for the Crisco (or whatever your preferred wanking lubricant might be) I should warn you that my encounter with four cute Chinese schoolgirls was not exactly what dreams are made of. Don’t get me wrong. The young…

Thai cultural watchdogs recently banned a line of condoms named after a popular country singer, Tom Dundee. The name was deemed too suggestive for Thai consumers because “Dundee” means “good penetration” in the Thai language. Dundee, whose real name is…

I often went deep sea fishing on weekends when I lived in Africa. The fishing was usually pretty good. We caught a lot of dorados (also called mahi-mahi). They are fun to catch and wrestle into the boat. They can…

I spent my career in an industry that had gone global long before “globalism” became a buzzword. From the outset, my job kept me traveling all over the world. After 8 years of nearly nonstop international travel I was sent…

It seems like almost every time we turn around we find evidence of yet another colossal fuck up by dear old God Almighty. Here’s yet another “act of God” to contemplate. This one should really brighten your day. Divine fuck…

I met Ophelia while I was living in Southeast Asia. She was an incredibly hot woman of Chinese ancestry. Stunningly beautiful, Ophelia was easily in the 950 - 980 mH range. She was intelligent, funny and very vivacious. I was…

Verizon has been my cellphone carrier for a few years now. I was satisfied with their service but thought their prices were a bit on the high side. A couple of years ago someone tried to open an account with…

Mike Pence feels threatened by science. He recently announced his determination to have the now extinct species “Homo erectus” given a less offensive name. “I don’t believe in evolution anyway,” Pence told reporters. “Evolutionary theory is nothing more than a…

Hell yes! Abso-fuckin’-lutely! Homo sapiens will definitely be extinct some day. We could be extinct pretty soon or it might take a long time, but all species eventually die out. There is no reason to believe we will be the exception. Some…