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Everyone needs a hobby. Mine is eating pussy. There is nothing I like better than massaging a beautiful woman’s pink pearl and vulva with my long, muscular tongue. Playing golf, international travel, a tropical cruise, even riding a loud, chrome…
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Every man has a different weakness. Some men can’t resist a woman who is a classic beauty. Some guys go ape-shit over a woman who is ferociously sexy. Others crave women with an incorrigibly slutty look. Classic beauty, sultry sexiness…
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“Love” means different things to different people. To each person, “love” will have very different meanings as life unfolds. Until I was about 4 or 5 years old, “love” was the word I used to describe my feelings towards (in…
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1. Children spread disease more effectively than roaches, fleas and mosquitoes combined. 2. Children differentiate by gender whether you want them to or not. Neither my son nor daughter missed a single gender stereotype despite our attempts not to fetter…
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I’ve had three brushes with mental illness in my life (so far). Two of them affected significant others and one affected me. Mrs. Hornibastard #1 started getting weird towards the end of our relationship. At the time, her problem…
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My most romantic moment was not what you might expect. There was no nudity involved. There were no orgasms. The setting was not candlelit. We were not alone in some idyllic garden setting or in a tropical mountainside hot spring…
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We all knew it was just a matter of time. If there is a potential to make some money, somebody is going to exploit it. Starting after the first of next year Amazon will begin offering mail order brides sourced…
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As of today, I am retiring from retirement. I’ve been retired for a year plus a couple of weeks. I gave retirement a fair try. But now I am sick and tired of retirement. It has been a…
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It i’s truly pathetic that you have to turn to a discussion group on TUSCL to read something rational about DACA. But that’s how crappy and distorted the mainstream news media coverage has become (and that includes CNN, MSNBC, The…
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I’m not gay and I’m not from California, but once every five years I take it up my tailpipe in the name of love. I really hate doing it but about 10 years ago when my kids were just infants,…
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When I was of draft age the Vietnam War was underway but America was already reducing its presence. My parents, worried that their first born would go to Vietnam and come home in a box, counseled me to be prepared…
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A GUIDE BY REVEREND HORNIBASTARD Ever since Icey Loco was chased off TUSCL discussion boards by its members there has been a paucity of sage advice on how to entice a woman into bed and fuck her or regarding the rules…
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Before you reach for the Crisco (or whatever your preferred wanking lubricant might be) I should warn you that my encounter with four cute Chinese schoolgirls was not exactly what dreams are made of. Don’t get me wrong. The young…
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Thai cultural watchdogs recently banned a line of condoms named after a popular country singer, Tom Dundee. The name was deemed too suggestive for Thai consumers because “Dundee” means “good penetration” in the Thai language. Dundee, whose real name is…
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I often went deep sea fishing on weekends when I lived in Africa. The fishing was usually pretty good. We caught a lot of dorados (also called mahi-mahi). They are fun to catch and wrestle into the boat. They can…
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I spent my career in an industry that had gone global long before “globalism” became a buzzword. From the outset, my job kept me traveling all over the world. After 8 years of nearly nonstop international travel I was sent…
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It seems like almost every time we turn around we find evidence of yet another colossal fuck up by dear old God Almighty. Here’s yet another “act of God” to contemplate. This one should really brighten your day. Divine fuck…
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I met Ophelia while I was living in Southeast Asia. She was an incredibly hot woman of Chinese ancestry. Stunningly beautiful, Ophelia was easily in the 950 - 980 mH range. She was intelligent, funny and very vivacious. I was…
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Verizon has been my cellphone carrier for a few years now. I was satisfied with their service but thought their prices were a bit on the high side. A couple of years ago someone tried to open an account with…
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Mike Pence feels threatened by science. He recently announced his determination to have the now extinct species “Homo erectus” given a less offensive name. “I don’t believe in evolution anyway,” Pence told reporters. “Evolutionary theory is nothing more than a…
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Hell yes! Abso-fuckin’-lutely! Homo sapiens will definitely be extinct some day. We could be extinct pretty soon or it might take a long time, but all species eventually die out. There is no reason to believe we will be the exception. Some…
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Might an intelligent, technologically capable species have previously arisen on and inhabited our planet? How certain can we be that we are the first intelligent species to arise on Earth? No one has found evidence for any prior, advanced, non-human…
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Have you ever asked yourself questions like “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose in life?” If you are like most people who become preoccupied with such questions you may have found it difficult to come up with…
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Faced with dwindling attendance after widespread scandals over pedophile priests and the consequent cover-ups, the Holy Roman Catholic Church (NYSE ticker symbol “HRC”) has been forced to reassess its marketing strategies. After millennia of dull, gray piety and flavorless white…
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Most people have heard or read that humans share 99% of their chromosomes with chimpanzees. No one seems to understand this better than the folks on Madison Avenue. Advertisers constantly take advantage of our chimp-like idiocy. When I watch TV…
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