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Nobody really knows for sure what happens when we die. I haven’t died yet but my lack of personal experience with death is not about to stop me from having a theory about it. I’m prepared to wager dollars…
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I traveled the world on business trips since before some of you mongers were born. All that world travel was not as glamorous as some people think. There was lots of jet lag, food poisoning in third world countries, lost…
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Mrs. Hornibastard #2 was the very prim and proper, conservative WASP type. Why she ever agreed to marry an incorrigible reprobate like me is a mystery. She must have been desperate. But I thought her conservative, proper WASP ways made…
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I know you think you exist but if you will give me your attention for a few minutes, I will persuade you that your existence isn’t quite what you always thought it was. This won’t take long. Some people dive into arguments…
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Some people believe some pretty weird and outrageous shit. Not you and me, of course, but SOME people do. But you and I both know some of these people who believe truly weird shit. Some believe the Earth is flat. Some believe the…
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Exoplanets are being discovered with increasing frequency. To date, roughly 4,000 exoplanets have been discovered and are considered “confirmed.” Approximately another 3,000 are considered “possible detections” awaiting further data for confirmation. https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/faq/6/how-many-exoplanets-are-there/ Complex, chiral organic molecules (such as, my favorite, propylene…
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Evolution provided us with a lot more than a bipedal gait, opposable thumbs and dentition appropriate for an omnivorous diet. It also provided us with a behavioral repertoire that aided our survival during the arduous, lean years that span most…
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What a name! Zainuddin was the first driver assigned to drive me around when I was working in Indonesia. Most drivers are poorly educated people. When they’re not behind the wheel driving you around they’re usually asleep or absentmindedly…
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I recall as a youth watching a debate between two men, one a pro-communist and the other a pro-capitalist. The pro-communist was a much better debater. It was painful to watch him running circles around the flat-footed pro-capitalism debater. Near…
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I awoke from a dream of my dad (now long deceased). He parked his car at the curb, rolled down the driver’s window, put the car in neutral and walked away. There was more to the dream but this…
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I used to think “squirters” were just an urban legend. I had canoodled women all over the world as thoroughly and vigorously as I knew how but I had never made a woman “squirt!” At least not until Diah came along.…
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If you’ve ever had a water-saving toilet you know what a debacle they can be. Water-saving toilets might be acceptable in the homes of those malnourished, gluten-avoiding, vegans of indeterminate gender who litter the west coast, but they are woefully…
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I had a very odd dream. I was standing at a large window on a very high floor of an enormous building. I don’t know what floor I was on but it was very high - maybe 150 or more…
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n a few days I will go under the knife for what is referred to as a “minor medical procedure.” Some comedian, I can’t remember who, said a medical procedure is only minor when it is performed on somebody else.…
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A few weeks ago while we were In far West Texas, we ate dinner at Jett’s Grill in Marfa’s Hotel Paisano. They serve up fantastic food and great margaritas. If you’re within 70 miles of Marfa and hankering for…
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It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about Black, Latino, Aryan or Polish Pride, any kind of racial pride is a terrible, corrosive idea. Racial pride is idiotic and a gateway to racism. None of us picked our race. Each…
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Most of us are stuck behind the walls of our own, private prisons. Some of us are stuck with physical limitations that we were powerless to avoid and that can’t be fixed. Some of us struggle financially all our lives…
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I had to attend Catholic school from kindergarten through the eight grade. It was my punishment for foolishly allowing myself to be born into a Catholic family. Despite the assortment of mixed nuts (misfit priests and nuns) who ran…
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A few years ago the security department at my company decreed that I had to stay at the Four Seasons Hotel while I was in Jakarta on business. The Four Seasons was regarded as having exceptionally good security. Recent…
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Medical advice often falls on deaf ears. Most people hate listening to advice in general. They are particularly resistant to unsolicited health warnings delivered by people they don’t know, don’t trust and can’t relate to. What self-respecting, meat-loving, beer-swilling, Cheetos-chomping, cigar-sucking…
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This is a common mistake. I’ve made it repeatedly. For most men it’s almost a reflex. “Nobody messes with my woman (or women)!” The average guy’s attitude is, “she remains mine until I say otherwise!” It really doesn’t matter whether you…
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I can’t remember who it was, but someone said the best test of a man’s character is to shower him with good fortune. I was tested in this way. I flunked the test with flying colors. I think…
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The company’s security department always counseled that if we were ever confronted by muggers, we should cooperatively hand over our wallets, watches and cellphones. “NEVER put up a fight,” we were told. “It’s not worth it. Your muggers are likely…
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I met Putri (pronounced “Pooh-tree”) in 1996. She was standing alone late at night in front of a disreputable bar in an even more disreputable part of Jakarta. Putri looked out of place. She appeared frightened, bordering on frantic. I…
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I don’t consider myself an exceptional male specimen. I am not exceptionally tall. I am not unusually handsome. I’m certainly not memorably suave, debonair or romantic. My pecker is, so far as I know, of average…
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