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I have not been to a strip club since before the COVID-19 scare came to America. Before the pandemic, it was very unusual for me to last two weeks without sneaking off to one of my favorite dens of depravity for…
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I stopped praying when I was in elementary school. I was still at a tender age when it became clear to me that praying was, at best, a colossal waste of time and, possibly, a clumsy insult to any god…
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I recently received the wackiest job offer of my life. I’m quite certain no one will ever give me a wackier proposal. By way of background, I am an attorney with very extensive international experience. The fellow who made me…
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Just because we should all wear masks to protect ourselves from the viruses that others are spreading and to protect others from the viruses we may be unwittingly carrying and spreading, that doesn’t mean we have to throw fashion out…
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The more things change, the more they stay the same. I keep hearing how the “Me Too” movement has changed the sexual playing field forever. It is probably politically inappropriate for me to express this opinion, but I think that…
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Only naïve or hopelessly inexperienced men believe that dealing with a mouthful of splooge is strictly woman‘s and a gay man’s dilemma. It just ain’t so. I consider myself a hard-core heterosexual male. I’ve never had or wanted any gay…
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PART SIX: I Should Have Fucked Yuni! ... continued from Part Five: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71665 “You know which of my friends we never included that I really wished we had?” Mrs. Hornibastard asked wistfully. “I wish we had included Yuni. You remember her…
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PART FIVE: Fucking our Guests ... continued from Part Four: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71650 . . . when Mrs. Hornibastard found herself fantasizing about watching me fuck her friends while we were canoodling, she decided it was finally time to give this “crazy idea”…
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PART FOUR: Wiwik Breaks the Splooge Barrier and Show Time Gets Underway ... continued from Part Three https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71641 If Sri was the champion among our guests for giving me a raging boner without laying a hand (or any other part of her…
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PART THREE: Skinny Dipping Paradise ... continued from Part Two: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71623 After our return from Bali, Mrs. Hornibastard began asking if she could invite a friend or two to join us in the pool. I was initially reluctant to have anyone…
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PART TWO: How Mrs. Hornibastard Became Such a Flaming Exhibitionist ... continued from Part One: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71605 “Yes, I remember our wild days,” I said calmly as I wondered if she was going to propose that we resume taking walks…
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PART ONE: Mrs. Hornibastard Poses the Question Women love to talk. The current (third) Mrs. Hornibastard is no exception. During a recent, post-canoodling cuddle she suddenly asked me, “What do you like to think about while we’re making love?” Naturally, I…
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We spend a lot of time on this site comparing notes on our experiences with desploogination service professionals (“DSPs”). We rarely discuss our experiences with”civvies” (i.e. women who will happily desplooginate you for their own personal amusement just because they…
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Both men and women have hormones to deal with. Unfortunately, the burdens of managing hormones fall unequally on the two genders. From the onset of puberty until old ripe age, men live under constant pressure to restrain their…
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I’m getting old. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In a way, I’m proud of my age. It shows that I was smart enough to avoid snuffing out my life prematurely as a result of reckless, youthful excesses.…
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Life and humor both involve timing. Comedians always say humor requires good timing. But in real life, I think humor requires bad timing ... the more atrocious, the better. When my stepson (now all grown up) was six years old…
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Women are notoriously difficult to understand. The problem is only exacerbated when your woman doesn’t speak your language very well or, as in our case, barely speaks it at all. In the early days of our relationship, the…
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Most of us spend a lot of time, energy and money trying to get sticky with the most beautiful women we can find. But are extraordinarily beautiful women actually better, more satisfying sex partners than only moderately attractive or than…
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https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3496
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I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but buying candy based on the wrapper is one that I have avoided. Yes, I’ve had canoodled and even had brief relationships with lots of drop dead gorgeous women, and all…
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1. When you first enter it’s so dark inside the club you can barely see your hand in front of your face much less your boner; 2. The floor is sticky and the whole place reeks of stale beer and splooge; 3.…
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I have plenty of experience navigating the dangerous rip currents, eddies and whirlpools found in the turbulent waters of strip clubs. I know how to spot danger and have learned to stay away from it. The most dangerous strippers are…
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Women come “equipped” to varying degrees. Most women’s equipment falls short of the optimum in one or more important categories. Some women have marvelous jugs but have butts that resemble an armored personnel carrier. Others may have fantastic legs and…
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Who are our favorite movie villains lately? Hollywood gives us many to pick from but among the more common bad guys lately are Middle Eastern terrorists. After all, they’re in the news all the time for killing and maiming people…
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I probably won’t mention most of these at the dinner table later today, but the things I am most thankful for include the following: 1. My surname isn’t “Schitter,” “Fokkwad” or “Aszwype.” 2. I have a boxcar load of money. 3. None…
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