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reverendhornibastard

Posts

228 posts by reverendhornibastard

Front Room

I’m an Atheist. So are you (almost)!

I am an atheist. I don’t believe in a god or gods. If you stop and think about it briefly, you will realize that your beliefs concerning deities are nearly identical to mine. There are innumerable gods available for…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 31

Front Room

How Many Infidelities?

When Mrs. Hornibastard #2 and I were divorcing, she asked me over dinner (it was an amicable divorce) how many women I had cheated on her with. I replied as honestly as I could. “I don’t know.” My soon to be…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 7

Front Room

Coitus Interruptus

Shit happens! This is particularly true if you have any sticky, low-center-of-gravity mooches with deplorable personal hygiene habits (a.k.a. children) living in in your home. I expected the diapers, the screaming and the colorful puke storms in the middle…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 4

Front Room

“Denigrating” Women

A couple of well known, sensitive, urban malcontents who frequent this website have excoriated others for allegedly “denigrating” women. I find this phony high-mindedness totally preposterous especially coming from that dim-witted fruitcake who sometimes refers to his girlfriends as “bitches…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 30

Front Room

All Men Are NOT Created Equal!

The cornerstone of American democracy, the premise that all men are created equal, is a blatant lie. Let’s set aside for the moment that America has been shamefully slow in living up to the proposition that all men should be…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 3 24

Front Room

Understanding Indigenous People

If you’ve done any reading at all about “indigenous people” you will surely have noticed some peculiarities. For one, indigenous people are generally presumed to be superior (albeit in a crude, brutish sort of way) than your typical urban dweller…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 16

Front Room

Knowing Shit From Shinola

Yes, Icey, there IS a difference ... https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1699

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 45

Front Room

Fecal Ballistics and Turd Muzzle Velocities

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge and wisdom. Most just gargle.* A lot of people are completely ignorant about fecal ballistics and have never even bothered to contemplate the “muzzle speed” of the typical human turd. Some people probably care…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 3 8

Front Room

The Holy Grail: The Fabled Freebie

The wildest and most delightful experiences to crash into your life are often the ones you never planned on and never even wasted any time dreaming about. I never thought I would ever get a freebie from any desploogination service…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 17

Front Room

High Maintenance versus Low Maintenance Women

There are innumerable ways to categorize women. Some women are gorgeous. Some are not. Some are intelligent and some are as dumb as a box of rocks. There are thin ones, fat ones, pleasant ones, surly ones. Some are horny…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 35

Front Room

Cheryl: A Golden Opportunity Missed?

It was during Reagan’s first term. I was 32 years old. I’d gone in for a haircut at a salon I had never been to before. Since I had no prior experience with any of the stylists, I agreed to…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 15

Front Room

Custom Perversions

Do you remember Custom Perversions? Sure you do! Think back, way back to the summers of your youth. It was Custom Perversions who tutored you in unique ways to spend your leisure hours. Custom Perversions was a pioneer in the…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 4

Front Room

It’s a Question of Perspective

I recently had a strange epiphany in the most unlikely of settings. Maybe my tumor was acting up or maybe it was just one of those days. For whatever reason, by mid morning I realized I was going to need…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 11

Front Room

A Confession: My Fervid Fascination With Under-Aged Girls

There is no pretty way to say this. I used to have a fervid fascination with under-aged girls. https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1563 Fortunately, as the years passed, my fascination in little girls waned. By the time I was 12 or 13 years old my…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 3 16

Front Room

The True Meaning of Globalism

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1590 The word “globalism” is bandied about carelessly every day by people who have only the vaguest idea what that word really means. “Globalism” is not a terribly easy concept to encapsulate but I’ll take a swing at it. I was…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 2

Front Room

Hotspank Dating Services

Life in the fast lane is not everything it was cracked up to be. It’s not all fine dining, theater, champagne and cake. There are long hours in the office, rude cab drivers, airports, lost luggage and jet lag to…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 27 20

Front Room

Bond, James Bond

Every guy deserves at least one “James Bond moment” in his lifetime. Mine occurred at 37,000 feet when I was 34 years old. I was on a Singapore Airlines flight somewhere over Asia. The first class cabin on that aircraft could…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 11

Front Room

Finally! Ejector Pants!

Finally! Today my application for a patent was approved. The patent protects my rights on my my latest invention, the world’s first “Ejector Pants.” https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1552 Negotiations are already underway with Levi Strauss company for the marketing, sales and distribution of Ejector Pants…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 3 18

Front Room

The True Allure of the Spice Islands

The “Spice Islands” refers to a group of islands in eastern Indonesia including Ambon, Halmahera, Buru, Seram, Tanimbar, Seram and Ternate. According to history, the Spice Islands became known to 16th century European merchants and traders who sent mariners…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 17

Front Room

What’s a Nice Muslim Girl Like You Doing in a Swimsuit Like This?

Anisa, (now known as “Mrs. Hornibastard) was born and raised in an overwhelmingly Muslim village among the terraced rice paddies of East Java. Like everyone in her village, she was accustomed to bathing naked in the river that runs through…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 16

Front Room

Inflatable Pussies

It’s not every day you meet a woman who can inflate her pussy like a football, but I have met a few over the years. I remember the first time I encountered an inflatable pussy. I was doing my usual…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 3

Front Room

Father’s Day Was Yesterday

At least, that’s already the case if you’re in Asia. For you mother fuckers out there where it is still Father’s Day, have a good one. Being a good father is an important and sometimes tough responsibility. If you’re taking…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 1 9

Front Room

She Spiced Up My Sex Life Using an Egg Timer

BOLD NEW USES FOR AN EGG TIMER: It is both magical and sobering to be taught invaluable life lessons from a sexy woman young enough to be your daughter. I thought I was supposed to be the wise, sophisticated, worldly one.…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 7

Front Room

Desploogination

Some of you have commented on my occasional use of the word, “desploogination.” First, in all honesty, I cannot claim to have coined the word. “Desploogination” is a term that has been around for millennia. Its earliest use can be traced…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 9

Front Room

The Dawn of My Golden Era

The first time I moved to Southeast Asia I had no inkling of what was in store for me. I found myself immediately surrounded by more sexy, young Asian women than I had time to shake my night stick at.…

reverendhornibastardElite Reviewer7 yrs ago 2 15
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