Yuni Bare: An Epilogue

We arrived in Central Java today. Yuni and our East Java adventures are now all in the rear view mirror.

This afternoon my wife shared some surprising, some humorous, some awful and some very sad details about Yuni.

It all started with Yuni’s toe ring.

“What did you think of Yuni’s toe ring?” my wife suddenly asked me for no apparent reason. We hadn’t even been discussing Yuni.

“How do you think I would look if I wore a toe ring? Should I get a toe ring?”

“What? Yuni has a toe ring?” I replied.

I was not in touch with my feminine side at that particular moment and was in no mood to be dragged into a discussion about a fucking toe ring.

“You didn’t notice Yuni’s toe ring? It’s Yuni’s latest scandal! Lots of people in the village think it’s outrageous!”

“I never noticed her toe ring,” I said carelessly failing to appreciate that I might be stepping into a trap. At least I left off the wisecrack that I hadn’t even noticed whether Yuni had any toes at all.

“No, I guess you didn’t notice her toe ring.” my wife continued. “You probably never even got around to looking at Yuni’s feet, did you?”

My wife’s comment was made in a teasing rather than an accusatory tone.

It’s important to recognize these subtle but critical distinctions in a woman’s tone.

“Yeah, she’s an eyeful, that’s for sure!” I conceded as nonchalantly as I could.

“Yuni is a very beautiful and sexy woman, don’t you think so?”

My wife was clearly baiting me now so I threw in an oblique compliment just to make sure our conversation did not take any nasty or unpleasant turns.

“Yes, Yuni is a beautiful woman.” I said. “She looks a lot like you. In fact, the first time I met Yuni I thought she was your sister.”

Then my wife opened up about Yuni and her past, sharing details I had never heard or suspected.

First, there is a good reason why Yuni and my wife look like sisters. They are half sisters! Apparently, this is widely known in the village but rarely acknowledged in polite company. They were born to different mothers but had a father in common. Yuni and my wife have numerous half-brothers and half-sisters scattered around their village and in neighboring villages. Apparently their father was busy man, very popular with the local women.

My wife is 2 years older than Yuni. She says she taught Yuni to masturbate. When she and Yuni were aged 8 and 6 respectively, they were climbing a tree in front of my wife’s childhood home. Straddling a branch, my wife felt the pleasure of pressure on her clitoris. She encouraged Yuni to try it. Soon the two of them were straddling the branch humping merrily away. My wife’s mom looked out the window at them and asked what they were up to. My wife told her mom they were just pretending to ride horses.

Yuni was sexually abused by an uncle when she was 11 years old. Her abuser was later murdered (clubbed and set on fire in his sleep) by an unknown assailant. It is unclear what motivated his murder but it happened not long after he was caught abusing Yuni.

Yuni was almost run out of town a few years ago. She had been courted by a local man who is considered very well off by local standards. He proposed marriage but she rejected him. He had been very public in his courtship and was publicly humiliated by her rejection. To save face, he fabricated vicious stories about Yuni being a lesbian and an apostate. Some people believed the stories and wanted to force her out of the village. Eventually the scandal subsided and is now largely forgotten.

Yuni still remains a social outcast. She is uncommonly self confident, independent, often defiant of authority and assertive (some would even call her bull-headed). She doesn’t take shit from anyone. In her village, these traits are regarded as unfeminine. They are certainly not qualities appreciated in women. If all that isn’t enough, she wears a toe ring.

Yuni never participates in local religious rituals and ceremonies. She only wears jilbab on formal occasions (like weddings or funerals). This is a HUGE strike against her with most of the locals.

Yuni has used her family’s resources wisely. She is regarded as well off by the standards of the village. In addition to owning three small rice fields, she also owns two small stores, one in her village and another in a neighboring village. Her success is envied by others. That she has accomplished this much without the aid and guidance of a man makes her seem peculiar, even a bit “butch,” to the locals. That anyone could possibly consider Yuni “butch” strikes me as amazing since she is certainly among the most alluring beauties in her kecamatan (district).

Despite being young and gorgeous, at the ripe old age of 32 Yuni is now regarded by the villagers as a “perawan tua “ (old spinster).

Even ignoring what her uncle did to her during her childhood, Yuni is widely rumored to no longer be a virgin (gotta admit, this tidbit seems entirely plausible). As a result, no self-respecting local man will consider Yuni marriage material. Any man who shows interest in her is presumed to only be after her money.

Yuni was very upset on Saturday. Seeing what my wife has in her marriage and children and participating in our family mountainside hike and hot spring frolic on Friday threw into sharp focus everything that is missing in Yuni’s life. My wife says Yuni feels isolated and is desperately lonely. She worries that Yuni is falling into a deep emotional hole in her personal life.

Yuni attempted suicide twice in 2015.