tuscl

I’m Not That Crazy About Blow Jobs

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Tuesday, June 11, 2019 3:10 AM
It may be considered heresy for me to admit this here, but the honest truth is I’m not all that crazy about blow jobs. Don’t get me wrong. I’d rather enjoy a good blowjob than go to the dentist, meet with an insurance salesman or have another colonoscopy. But, in my view, even the best blow jobs are highly overrated when compared to the sexual alternatives. Blow jobs would make a lot more sense to me if women didn’t come equipped with vaginas. But they all do. There are some critically important distinctions between mouths and vaginas. Perhaps the most important one is that mouths have teeth and vaginas don’t. A mouth full of teeth can chomp down on your love muscle inflicting considerable pain and suffering. Plus, with mouths you always have to be concerned about gingivitis. Vaginas don’t pose such hazards. Mouths can be mad and dangerous. By contrast, vaginas always seem so friendly and welcoming. Beyond the concern about teeth, vaginas are specifically designed for fucking. As they say in the trades, vaginas are “built for purpose.” This is not the case for mouths. Mouths were not made for fucking. If you jam your love baton too deeply into your woman’s mouth you will trigger her gag reflex. The sound of a woman retching because I became too exuberant and stabbed her in the tonsils with my pecker never struck me as particularly sexy. By contrast, ramming deeply into a healthy vagina will please your woman who will probably tell all of her friends what you did to her, bolstering your reputation as one hell of a stud. Finally, there is the issue of sexual purpose. Call me queer but, given a choice, I would much prefer using my splooge to spray paint a woman’s cervix than her tonsils. I chalk up my attitude on this issue to a couple of million years of evolution. Guys who waste their splooge spray painting women’s tonsils tend to leave fewer progeny than men who prefer to spew their splooge where it counts most.

56 comments

  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Depends on the girl. Some don't know how to do it. Some don't have the capacity to take it deep. Some can't open their mouth wide enough and the teeth get in the way. But if she has the technique down, I almost enjoy a good blow job more. One of my ultimate pleasures is the double blow job. Two girls trading off sucking my cock and sucking my balls. Pure heaven !
  • doctorevil
    •
    5 years ago
    “The sound of a woman retching because I became too exuberant and stabbed her in the tonsils with my pecker never struck me as particularly sexy. ” Well, we all find different things sexy. “Guys who waste their splooge spray painting women’s tonsils tend to leave fewer progeny than men who prefer to spew their splooge where it counts most.” In my opinion, one of the chief advantages of a blowjob.
  • RandomMember
    •
    5 years ago
    Someone's going to raise the point that oral sex has no evolutionary purpose. I find blowjobs boring, too, but I like DATY for some reason and live for unprotected sex.
  • flagooner
    •
    5 years ago
    Sphincter
  • RandomMember
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^ no that's a different topic. Gary anal sex would be your preference
  • RandomMember
    •
    5 years ago
    Gay
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    @Warrior15 “One of my ultimate pleasures is the double blow job.” I’ve had 2 and even 3 women in bed with me at once but, as best I can recall, I never had a double blow job. Seems like I would remember something like that!
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    I like blowjobs but they are a clear #2 to vaginal intercourse. Most BJs I've had have been meh to pretty-good - a great blowjob for me has been more of the exception. IMO BJs are more art than science - as in many things, often times it seems the girls that give the best BJs may be the ones that seem to actually like sucking a dick.
  • RandomMember
    •
    5 years ago
    I guess @Reverend did mention evolution; sorry for missing that. Thinking about the topic more carefully, I don't see how my partner could possibly enjoy giving a blowjob. It must be unpleasant and uncomfortable for her even you don't trigger her gag reflex. And so it's not something I would find pleasant if it inflicts pain or discomfort on someone I care about. Also not into the male-dominant aspect getting blowjobs. I know it's a minority opinion, but just don't like blowjobs that much.
  • Subraman
    •
    5 years ago
    I'm in that boat also. I really really like BJs, but I'll take the more vajinocious route every time. I find that what makes BJs most exciting for me is the psychological thrill (she's accepting my junk in her mouth) and more than that, the visual thrill. It turns me on incredibly to see a gorgeous girl with her lips wrapped around me... and as a result, I don' t particularly love it when you're lying down and just see the top of her head (unless she's a "look up and maintain eye contact" type), I'd rather be sitting up, I want to see her lips sliding up and down. I've met a few women who are so masterful at it that they change my mind on this topic, though
  • Corvus
    •
    5 years ago
    If more women were better at giving head the world would be a better place for humanity. But in my experience a majority of women do not know how to do it properly, nor do they have the desire to learn. Far too many women give a glorified hand job and use their hands more than their mouths. But find a woman that knows what she is doing and also enjoys doing it and things are so much more fun.
  • wallanon
    •
    5 years ago
    I took the OP as a joke post, but if I'm looking for a "connection" with the sex then putting the pork in the bun is always going to win. It's science. Plus I have access to more of her body while it's happening. But the best blowjobs where she's got the skills, the endurance, and the motivation? All without being a cum dodger? When I can just sit back and enjoy that kind of experience it's a toss up.
  • northwest101215
    •
    5 years ago
    In the play The Vagina Monologues, one of the stories is titled My Angry Vagina, so maybe they do exist. As for blow jobs, there's something more personal about them and seems there can be more variation from the lady's lips. Plus there's the tongue....I remember a girlfriend who gave great head. The one thing that comes to mind about her....the things she could do with her tongue.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    I like both, vaginal intercourse and BJs, and like having both during sex - but if I was only given one option, I'd choose vaginal-intercourse pretty-much everytime; but I def enjoy a well-done BJ
  • Nidan111
    •
    5 years ago
    With regards to “teeth”, I’m sure that there are some females out there that enjoy fruit cups and as such could just remove those chompers prior to doing the deed.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    a good bj is one step towards good fuckin sex. daty is another big step.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    A good blow job is one of the best feelings in the world. The best part is when you can tell she really wants to do it and loves doing it. Its not just the physical, its the look in her eyes, the way she thanks you for cumming and swallows, the way she submits to you....
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    BJs are what separates us from the animals
  • shadowcat
    •
    5 years ago
    If vaginas are so great, why are so many men (not me) more interested in sticking it in their ass?
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    anal is great too....you know she's into you when she lets you do rough anal lol
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    A) Why do brides smile when they walk down the aisle? A) The know they’ve given their last blowjob
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    25, As a married guy I can tell you this. Your last post is just not funny !
  • flagooner
    •
    5 years ago
    A) Shouldn't a riddle have both 1 question and 1 answer? A) Not if you are @25. In that case you can have 2 answers.
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ you got me there 😂
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    That was a good one 25 👍
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    a good bj is one big step towards good fuckin sex. daty is another big step.
  • gSteph
    •
    5 years ago
    Human beings vary. A lot. So, you have various opinions expressed here, all ok. I love 'em (BJs). And good ol' PIV sex. And sucking her nipple as I rub her happy spot till she ...
  • flagooner
    •
    5 years ago
    This thread is blasphemy.
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Isn't oral sex still illegal in certain states ?
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    @Flagooner “This thread is blasphemy.” 🤣
  • herbtcat
    •
    5 years ago
    @Warrior15, @flagooner used the wrong joke: Q. What's the best part of a blowjob after you're married? A. The three minutes of silence. For the rest of us: A BJ is like pizza. When it's good it's really great. And when it's bad it's still pretty good. :p
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    yup!
  • pistola
    •
    5 years ago
    Could not disagree with OP more... They're amazing when done right. If schools replaced home-ec with 'How to give a BJ by Ava Devine' the divorce rate would drop by 10-15% over time.
  • chowder
    •
    5 years ago
    Sounds like reverend isn't getting good head. Some girls are bad at it. Some get the job done. And there are those who will blow your freaking mind away. And it always surprises you which girls fall into which category. You just never know.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    "... And it always surprises you which girls fall into which category ..." For a good BJ, try a fat-chick - they like having something in their mouth
  • Nidan111
    •
    5 years ago
    @ papi. Correction. Getting a BJ from another human is what separates us from animals. I have see many a dog give themselves what seems to be a fantastic self-BJ based on their expression following the deed.
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    @Papi the reason fat chicks give the best blowjobs is because they’re always hungry ;)
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    I’ve had some great BJs. But even the best BJs I ever received didn’t hold a candle to the standard deep-pussy desploogination.
  • anthony6613
    •
    5 years ago
    Which of these don’t belong? An egg, your meat and a blowjob. You can beat an egg, you can beat your meat but you can’t beat a blow job.
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    Good one, Anthony!
  • vajmon
    •
    5 years ago
    I prefer vaginal sex to a blowjob, unless it's a choice between sex wearing a condom or a bareback blowjob. Then I'll go for BBBJ over CFS (to me wearing a condom is like jacking off in a bag, I can't feel anything: ( I do have to say that a very well done BBBJ can sometimes cum in a close second to vaginal sex, especially if she's willing to stick out her tongue at end to take the load and then swallow all of it. I also disagree with rev. Horny B, I like when a lady uses her teeth to gently grip the head of my dick and massage it. If he doesn't like that maybe he should trying getting a BJ from some crack whore who doesn't have teeth or some old granny with dentures!
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    @vajmon “If [Reverend] doesn’t like [teeth on his pecker] maybe he should try getting a BJ from some crack whore who doesn’t have teeth or some old granny with dentures ...” I guess I have fewer calluses on my penis than you do!
  • footballguy
    •
    5 years ago
    I used to think similar to you, I didn’t think BJ’s felt nearly as good as sex. Then I started getting BBBJ’s from my ATF and my opinion changed. Her technique made all the difference. If you can get a girl that knows what she’s doing, it’s pretty close to FS. That said, I’d still take a HJ over a covered BJ.
  • DeclineToState
    •
    5 years ago
    Hard to compete with being inside uncovered, but a properly delivered BJ is spectacular. Problem is many girls fail at it either cuz they don't know how or don't enjoy it. The lamest ones tend to be when the girl just wants to get it over with and they suck and tug too hard
  • rh48hr
    •
    5 years ago
    For me ITC a BJ is best. FS just isn't very comfortable or easy to do in most VIP areas. OTC FS is the preferred option where time and multiple positions are available. But I will say this, a really good blowjob could get me to do just about anything for my gf. One of the best blowjobs I ever got was from a gf who didn't like to give them but had done something wrong (she fucked up a lot) and surprised me one night. It was slow, sensual and kept me on the brink of cumming for what seemed like forever.Probably kept me in the relationship a few months longer than I should have. My first gf in college was really good at it and while she didn't swallow, she took the load in her mouth every time. She spoiled me. No gf or ex-wife since has been willing to do that.
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    I was thinking about this thread last night as my sugar babe date was gagging on my cock. Yeah, I'm definitely on the side of enjoying blow jobs.
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    5 years ago
    I am definitely a much bigger fan of straight up sex but a skillful blowjob can produce a more intense orgasm.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    warrior, are you bragging or putting yourself down by talking about your exploits with hookers? thats like bragging about playing a sport and getting a participation trophy ROTFLMFAO
  • Cristobal
    •
    5 years ago
    Yo me, FS is definitely my preference and what I look for but a good bbbj is a great warm up.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    yeah you’re right cristobal. I have experienced however a couple of covered blowjobs that even though it was covered the technique was exquisite. (and cheap.)
  • Cristobal
    •
    5 years ago
    @misterwonderful I've only found one BG/DS whose CBJ was so exquisite and yes, I try to see her regulary.
  • gammanu95
    •
    5 years ago
    If you had ever had a truly spectacular blowjob, you would know that it can only be equalled -but never surpassed- by the best sex of your life. Plus, its always nice to have that as a backup during her heavy flow days.
  • sshrfrsky
    •
    5 years ago
    Vaginas are great but a mouth, lips, tongue and even the hand can do so much together. Hard sucking, slow and deep, face fucking, sloppy, tongue swirling, etc etc etc. My ideal is some great oral then some intercourse with more oral till finish.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    nice... !
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    A great blowjob can be better than a fuck.
  • madhouse
    •
    5 years ago
    O baby take your teeth out
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